A place with no concept of a beginning, where an eternal, cold, and all-consuming darkness stretched into infinity. The vast black canvas of creation, which, it seemed, contained nothing. But… if one looked closer, tiny embers, infinitesimally small in comparison to the void, smoldered across it. Shimmering with different colors, they were without end. Yet, one thing united them.
They were all slowly burning out, prolonging their meaningless existence in anticipation of their doom. Such is the law of the universe—to burn anew, one must first be extinguished.
All will pass through this… Or are there exceptions?
A tiny soul drifted in the bottomless ocean of what would be called oblivion. Inside the nearly transparent sphere, a gray, slightly murky core glowed. This small planet navigated the expanse, steadily emitting a barely visible haze that quickly dissipated into the darkness.
But then, the glowing stopped.
Could this be the end?
The sphere's walls rippled, and its core began to flicker.
In an instant, the little planet was engulfed in a blinding white flame, many times greater than its former smoldering. Faint gray notes flickered within it, but in the gloom, one couldn't discern the rare black sparks that erupted outward. Another instant, and the colors inverted. Now, a barely perceptible black fire birthed myriads of almost-white sparks that erupted in bright flashes. Another moment, so brief you couldn't even blink, and the blazing fire froze, as if time itself had stopped.
With a flash, the overgrown flame was swept away by a wave of gray energy, scattering into countless sparkles. The darkness consumed everything, except for it…
Once again, the small planet drifted in the ocean of oblivion. But now, right before one's eyes, something was happening to it. Appearing as if from nowhere, a very viscous, light gray liquid was enveloping it. The color was somewhere between that of the nearly transparent sphere and its murky-gray core. And finally, having encased the ball within itself, it abruptly began to inflate into some kind of figure. At first, an ellipsoid-like shape, it quickly gained detail until a human form hung suspended in the boundless murk.
With a single jerk, a shudder ran through its entire body. Trembling hands approached the face of the hunched figure, until barely visible impulses of energy began to erupt from it.
"So… cold…"
My thoughts were a jumble, my body seemed to have a mind of its own, pulling me in different directions. A chill pierced me to the bone. The cold of my fingers on my face. Everything seized in a spasm, and I pulled my limbs away, opening my eyes. There was only darkness around me… in which I could see my own glowing, semi-transparent hands…
"What the hell?"
A reflexive attempt to inhale was cut short.
It isn't working! No air is coming in!
Panic seized me.
Goosebumps ran down my spine, and a pulling warmth spread through my chest…
My gaze fell again to my own limbs. I froze at the sight, forgetting my attempts to breathe.
The question remained the same.
The numbness almost receded, imperceptibly replaced by calm. Did it use to come this easily? Oh right, almost.
I looked around but saw nothing besides my own body. My gaze slid down to my chest, and I froze, staring for about a minute at the glowing "little planet" inside me.
The thought flickered in my subconscious that I probably wouldn't have to breathe anymore. The transparency of my body only confirmed it.
I needed to remember what happened… My head was in chaos. Trying to concentrate, I began to recall the last events, like watching an old film reel in reverse. A heaviness grew in my chest…
It all started in the evening. Those memories were the clearest. It was raining, dark clouds hanging over the city inspired a sense of melancholy. I just wanted to buy something sweet—my weakness…
Leaving the apartment building, I headed toward the nearest store out of habit. I walked slowly, knowing I'd get soaked anyway.
Why didn't I take an umbrella then? I shouldn't have rushed… that applied not only to me but to the drivers flying down the road along the sidewalk. One such hurried driver splashed me from the side, leaving me wet from more than just the rain. Just my luck…
Soon I was standing at the only traffic light I needed to cross, waiting for the green.
At least I didn't forget you, I thought, feeling for my earbuds in my pocket.
Hunching over the case to protect it from the moisture, I quickly put in the earbuds and turned on some music on my phone. The loud tune drowned out the gloom.
Waiting for the green, I stepped forward without looking… and immediately felt a sharp impact from the side that threw me several meters. A flash of pain shot through my entire body, the wail of a car horn cut through my music, and then another, even stronger wave of pain from the same side. The crunch of my own bones in my chest… after that, everything blurred, and then came an icy numbness.
So, I was hit by a semi-truck or a shuttle bus… Most likely a shuttle bus, considering the city and the driving style of the local drivers.
My hands clenched involuntarily, but a cold melancholy settled in my mind… So, I died. And now I feel nothing. That's probably for the best. I guess I've already come to terms with it.
Endless darkness… so this is the afterlife. I was expecting something a bit more colorful. My world had so many interpretations of it.
Whatever. I… what was my name? My fingers involuntarily touched my abs. Memories of gym workouts surfaced. But I couldn't remember my name… The chill spread through my chest again, and I reflexively touched it. The names of my parents, loved ones—not even their faces remained… Yet the feeling that these were important memories wouldn't leave me.
Well, at least I don't have to take my finals, an ironic thought flickered.
I don't even remember my own face, but I know I survived one whole session of finals. So how old does that make me? I couldn't remember, so I had to count. Eighteen, uh-huh.
"And what am I supposed to do with this information?" I tapped my chest, as if addressing the spheres. But the only response I got was a growing numbness.
Am I tired? That's how I interpreted the feeling… Hmm. And I wonder what I look like? I'll probably never know now… This is so draining…
My thoughts brought no relief, and without realizing it, I let them go, sinking into a semblance of sleep.
About ten hours later
Waking up in a pleasant languor was wonderful. There was no noise around, my body didn't register a single negative sensation; on the contrary, it was filled with a warmth spreading from my chest. Yeah… this is what made dying worthwhile… Terrible joke.
Sitting up, I started to wonder what to do next. The answer was: nothing. However, that state of affairs didn't exactly satisfy me. It was then I again noticed the warmth spreading through my body.
"Wasn't I a bit… paler yesterday? And also…" I brought my hand closer to my eyes to get a better look. "Did I get backlighting?"
And indeed, a faint, barely noticeable grayish glow was emanating from my entire skin. Hmm, maybe I'm biased, but it seems to me that this strange phenomenon, as well as the warmth in my chest, has something to do with that transparent little planet with the core inside me.
When I was alive, I read a lot, and I didn't shy away from anime, which many consider a, hmm, strange hobby. And this little ball here looks suspiciously like some kind of mana core… albeit a strange, two-layered one. Though, considering I died and wasn't a mage in my past life, it's more likely a spiritual energy core, or something like that. When I looked more closely at it, I added another fact to the pile: there's something else in there. Because it seemed to me that something almost transparent was flowing very slowly from the inner core. Some kind of substance, like a thick jelly. And it was also flowing out of the outer core.
Should I meditate or something, try to feel the Force in me? A strange idea. Even though I'm dead and in an equally strange form of existence… okay, in this context, the idea isn't that strange anymore.
Assuming the lotus position, for no particular reason, I closed my eyes and focused on my chest. A second, two, a minute… I have no idea how much time passed, but subjectively it was "soon" when, to my surprise, I actually felt a flow… It was a strange feeling of transition, as if noticing the ever-present beat of my own heart for the first time. It felt like it had always been with me, so it came very naturally.
Then, not wanting to stop, I tried to create a sort of channel leading from the top of the outer sphere. And after a few moments, longer than before, I was able to find that inner effort, that thought-property, which made the energy condense and stretch out from the sphere as a thin cord before dissolving inside my body.
For a good ten minutes, I frankly played around with this, pulling… it, into cords of varying lengths and densities.
It was very interesting to watch and do this from the sphere's point of view. I could see in 360 degrees. As the sphere inside my chest, once I got the hang of it, I found that by kind of jerking myself up and down, I could jump over the created cord like a jump rope. Of course, this was after hitting myself with the created object a few dozen times. And even after some time, it was probably only thanks to the sense of rhythm I'd developed in life that I managed a series of ten "jumps" over this… I don't know what to call this substance inside me… Soul energy? I could be completely wrong about its nature, but whatever. After another minute, figuratively huffing and puffing, I was already doing a series of fifteen jumps when something itched in my mind…
Maybe I'm missing something? …
Right, I'm supposed to be seeing through my eyes! What's wrong with my memory that I'm being so stupid…
With that thought, my point of view almost literally drifted, stopping at head level. After which, what had turned out to be spherical vision became the familiar panoramic view of the human eye.
And then, on a whim, my gaze shifted back to how it was just a moment ago.
Amazing, flashed through the sphere, as I switched between these points of view a few more times, and finally managed to look, literally, with my finger.
I examined myself from the outside. Inside my semi-transparent shell, in my head, and even in my groin, no brain was found. Apparently, I think with the little planet in my chest. It's the only thing that stands out in my body.
It's an interesting picture. As I figured out after a few dozen experiments, I now most likely perceive reality through energy. I simply have no other organs. Moreover, I can even use the energy that emanates from the contours of my body.
By the way, the glowing contour that serves as my skin is slightly… thickened, like actual skin. It wasn't immediately noticeable because of the glow. But returning to my vision, I could kind of see for about a couple of meters away from my body. In all directions at once, which is important. And it didn't exactly overload my "brain," now in quotes.
Well, I'm discovering a new side of myself, heh. Literally. My body looked familiar to me, so its appearance didn't really stir any emotions. A fit young man, far from a bodybuilder, but someone who knew a thing or two about sports. A standard haircut with medium-length hair and, as has been fashionable for a while now, shaved temples. Young man… aren't I a bit too young to be using a word like that? Ah, who cares.
What should I do next?
A cord of energy flew over me-the-sphere.
Well, after acquiring something akin to magic, what other ideas could there be if not all sorts of things involving it? Although… I could hurt myself if I do something wrong with this substance… On the other hand, I'm dead, there's nothing around, and even if I cause myself pain—well, what's to be done then. At least it won't be so boring to exist… how fatalistic.
But getting back on a positive wave. Energy… I'll try to bring it outside—beyond the "skin." A stream about a centimeter thick rushed from the core and passed beyond the limits of my body without any obstacles. There was no difficulty with that.
A few minutes later, I was trying to control two "snakes" of energy. They could easily be combined into one, and I tried to weave them together.
After another ten minutes of this amusing activity, mentally huffing and puffing like there's no tomorrow, I was already trying to create a weave of ten threads—one from each finger.
What's also noteworthy is that it wasn't necessary to draw the energy directly from the outer sphere—which I was vaguely beginning to sense was the main reservoir. Although in much smaller quantities, this substance was also present in the body, and it could be drawn not just from the "skin," but even from the "backlighting."
The experiments with shape manipulation continued for another couple of dozen minutes, ending with seeing how far I could extend a thread of energy, or a feeler. It turned out to be about two meters. A strange sensation, as if my arm, which physiologically cannot reach any further, was similarly unable to extend the energy any further.
After that, I moved on to attempts at changing the properties of my energy. Before, I had changed its shape, which is also a "property" in a way. However, one can look at this concept much more broadly.
Instantly, a small flame appeared over my finger, like from a lighter. Though it was gray for some reason… ah, there we go, it turned a normal color on command.
"Hmm… looks like I have some masochistic tendencies," I muttered, holding my other hand over the flame. "Nothing… oh, right, I need to set the thought-property that the fire should be hot… hotter… even more… oh FUCK, not that much!"
So, I can hurt myself after all. When I, the sphere, was "jumping rope" and hitting "myself" with the energy cord—I felt no damage. I could clearly feel myself being touched, yes, but there were no perceptible injuries.
I looked at the palm, now swollen and gray… Well, at least I checked if my "body" has regeneration. I hope so.
Now I can move on to the sphere and the core… Over time, I sensed their function more and more clearly: how the outer sphere released excess energy from the body, and how the inner core radiated energy as if from nowhere into the outer sphere.
Then a not-so-smart idea came to me, but its quality didn't stop me from trying to execute it. As always, obeying my will, the outer sphere stopped radiating energy, slowly overfilling.
After a minute, I started to feel uncomfortable. After three—even more uncomfortable, and a problem arose: I could barely contain the sphere. It didn't show any signs of being about to burst. In fact, the absence of that feeling was what made me continue, because my senses told me I could still "hold on." Despite the self-torturing tendencies I'd discovered in myself, I didn't want to intentionally harm myself to that extent. If I had felt like I was about to burst, I would have let go of control.
With a low hum, the energy burst from my control and gushed out of me in an intensified radiance.
Ugh… tired again. I don't know what part of me gets tired, but this feeling arose not only from mental work like last time, but now from working with energy as well. The energy itself, by the way, is still at full capacity. So, it was the manipulations themselves that wore me out.
With that, I decided to postpone the next experiments until tomorrow.
Just like the previous time, I easily cleared my thoughts and once again fell into a semblance of sleep.
Some time later
So, what else is there to do?
I think I'll continue with containing the energy. With a slight effort, the inner core seemed to switch off, ceasing to radiate energy. This took less effort than containing the outer sphere. However… yeah, if I stop concentrating on it, the core "switches on" by itself and continues churning out its "jelly." Uh-huh…
What if…? I turned my attention to my "glow" and immediately tried to suppress it, as if sealing the energy inside.
Starting with the "skin" of my fingers, the radiance began to fade. Slowly, centimeter by centimeter, the process of "fading" became more and more difficult. My mind practically started to boil by the time my hands had "gone dark" up to the elbows…
Failure.
Reconsidering what had happened, I felt a slight dissatisfaction with the experiment. No, it's not like I'd done everything right on the first try before. But this was a total bust: I failed to do something—that won't do!
As the shape experiments clearly showed, my skills grow with time. And I have a lot of… time now. Hmm… I think I'll try creating glows of different colors first. I want to learn how to spew rainbows…
A week later
"Come on… you… I mean, I can do it!" I stared at the fading toes of my feet. At first, progress was fast. After about an hour of work, I managed to "extinguish" my hands. However, the further I went, the more the progress slowed, though not too sharply. By my estimation, about ten hours of work had passed. And an unknown amount of time spent on breaks for sleep. That's how long it took to get to the current result.
To be fair, I wasn't solely focused on mastering this one action; I was also progressing in other areas of energy manipulation. I had improved my overall control to the point where I could extend my energy, and therefore "see" with it, up to five meters. And, by the way, my "body" does have regeneration: the burn-like injury healed over several sleep cycles.
But what's important now is that I've achieved the goal I set for myself. In a state of considerable tension to keep the "skin" from letting energy through, I could only manage a strained smile.
"I finally managed to extinguish all the glow from my skin. All I need now is the sound of a bell and a 'Quest Complete' sign in front of my face." My smile became slightly less strained. "And… what is that…?"
Unexpectedly, I began to feel something vague, as if my "skin" was getting "thicker"—or rather, denser, consuming energy for the process. Is it because of the pressure being exerted on it right now?
For a few more seconds, I held the energy within me, observing this slow process. But since it was difficult, I was about to release my control when I suddenly felt a jolt from below.
Then, just a few seconds later, I was being pulled somewhere. My control slipped, and the contained energy gushed out of me. However, I still felt that my acceleration wasn't slowing down; something inside told me I was moving through space. After another, rather short, period of time, I felt the "atmosphere" thicken, as if I had gone from air into water. I wasn't sure if there was any atmosphere at all in this, as it turned out, not-so-empty void, but that's what it felt like.
The heightened "atmosphere" turned out to be energy, different from the kind I had been manipulating. It began to seep into me bit by bit, and I instinctively felt that this substance was very beneficial to me.
For the first time in a long time, I felt hunger, and now I had a clear understanding that this substance outside could satisfy it.
With a force of will, my "skin" did the opposite, "opening up," which caused the flow of absorbed energy to increase many times over.
With even greater strain, I began to pull this energy in myself, as much as I could.
Though I didn't have the strength to see it clearly at the time, as this energy washed over my soul, it almost immediately made my outer shell completely transparent, while the core barely changed, its gray color simply becoming… grayer.
Surprisingly, while under peak strain, I didn't get tired for a long time, and my powers of control even grew.
After some time of channeling energy through myself, I felt that I had become… younger? And, as I just mentioned, stronger. However… the growth of my endurance couldn't keep up with the power of my efforts. I hadn't completely lost my head, and I noticed this fact during the process, which made me slow down. All so that I could stay conscious longer and absorb more energy.
But as I took in more and more, a slow current of fatigue still washed over me. And after a while, I could no longer resist it, falling into unconsciousness…