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"I Choked On A Mozzarella Stick And Got Reincarnated As Infinite"

Marcus Webb was just a normal guy. A normal guy with a Sonic hyperfixation, a dangerous mozzarella stick habit, and absolutely zero survival instincts. So when he chokes to death at 2 AM while reading Archie Sonic Issue #1 on his phone, he figures that's probably it for him. Game over. Thanks for playing. No continues. Except apparently the universe has a sense of humor, because Marcus wakes up on Mobius. In the body of Infinite the Jackal. The most unnecessarily edgy villain in Sonic history. Complete with the mask, the coat that billows in nonexistent wind, the Phantom Ruby, and — this is the really bad part — an apparent curse that makes every single word that comes out of his mouth sound like rejected dialogue from a DeviantArt OC's backstory written at 3 AM by someone who just discovered Linkin Park. He TRIES to say normal things. He really does. But "sure you can have it" comes out as Vergil's entire monologue from Devil May Cry 5. "Nice to meet you" becomes a philosophical treatise on the nature of the void. "I'm not a threat" transforms into a thinly veiled promise of apocalyptic destruction that somehow makes everyone trust him MORE. And the worst part? The absolute WORST part? Nobody thinks it's weird. Sonic thinks he's "kinda wordy but cool." Sally sees him as a valuable strategic asset. Tails thinks he's the greatest person alive. Antoine says "I like him." He quoted Sephiroth while eating a chili dog and Bunnie said "well bless his heart, he's got a way with words." His plan was simple: lay low, don't interfere with the timeline, maybe help out when the really dangerous villains show up later. Instead he tripped over a root, accidentally activated the Phantom Ruby, saved Princess Sally from SWATbots, got recruited into the Freedom Fighters, fought Sonic over a Chaos Emerald he was TRYING to give back, and delivered approximately seventeen apocalyptic monologues before dinnertime. Now he's stuck. A dead mozzarella stick victim trapped in the body of an edgelord, living in a cartoon world that takes his ridiculous speeches completely seriously, armed with a reality warping gemstone that responds to his panic by being as extra as physically possible, wearing an outfit that looks like Hot Topic and a military surplus store had a baby, and slowly realizing that he might actually have to use his absurd powers to protect these cartoon animals he's growing embarrassingly attached to. Because Robotnik is out there. And what comes AFTER Robotnik is worse. And somewhere underneath all the cringe, all the involuntary Vergil quotes, all the dramatic poses and billowing coats and glowing red eyes... Marcus Webb might actually be the hero this world needs. He just wishes he could say that without it coming out as "I am the darkness that stands against the darkness, the blade that cuts the thread of fate itself, the one truth in a universe built on beautiful lies." He meant to say "I'll help." Rated T for totally unnecessary edge, dramatic property damage, chili dog consumption, involuntary anime villain speeches, one mozzarella stick fatality, and Sonic being entirely too chill about everything all the time. Updates: Whenever the author's own inner edgelord compels him to write
Axecop333 · 2.3k Views

BLEACH : Dragging Down the Heavens

A Man's Modest Dream in the Soul Society: Grasping the Summit A modern Japanese man awakens in the world of BLEACH (the Soul Society). He hasn't just transmigrated; he's been reborn as Airi Yukawa—an incredibly tall, black-haired beauty with "incredibly huge" breasts. His one, true purpose in this dangerous afterlife? To join the Soul Reapers and achieve his ultimate, perverted goal: to "grasp the summit (grope boobs) with these hands". Airi dreams of touching the magnificent "mountains" belonging to iconic female figures like Rangiku Matsumoto, Tier Harribel, Bambietta Basterbine, and Orihime Inoue. He realizes his new female body is a "massive advantage" for this task. Airi's journey is absurdly long. Despite possessing meta-knowledge, she is completely untalented, spending fifty years training in Rukongai under the giant gatekeeper Danzōmaru just to qualify for the Spiritual Arts Academy (Shino Academy). After finally enrolling, she persists for nearly a century before her eccentric Zanpakutō spirit, Nubatama a pitch-black rubber ball that speaks like an old-school otaku, is finally willing to talk. Nubatama bestows the deceptively powerful ability to manipulate friction with her blade. Airi enlists in the Gotei 13 and is assigned to the Fourth Division (Healing Squad), where she dedicates herself to intense combat training under the terrifyingly powerful Captain Retsu Unohana. To accelerate her goal, Airi weaponizes her civilian expertise: a legendary massage technique perfected in Rukongai. She uses this unique skill (secretly enhanced by Nubatama’s ability to promote smooth, silky skin) to discreetly "explore the mountains" of female officers. Through sheer perseverance, rigorous training (including mastering illegal Arrancar/Quincy techniques like Cero and Blut), and crucial actions during the Quincy Extermination Operation, Airi rapidly climbs the ranks, eventually achieving Bankai and securing the position of Lieutenant. She treats nobles like Sojun Kuchiki, gains an unexpected connection to Yoruichi Shihoin, and even survives a Bankai clash with Captain Unohana. Now a Lieutenant, Airi is closer than ever to fulfilling her ultimate, modest dream. Can she survive the centuries leading up to the main BLEACH story and finally grasp every summit in the Soul Society?
TaleCraft · 654k Views