When Junseo opened his eyes, he immediately notice something was wrong.
Not because the bed was too soft or too firm –actually, it felt like he was lying on a haybales. Not because of the quiet–he'd fallen asleep to the soft, constant hum of Seoul traffic, and now there was only... birds.
But because he was staring at a ceiling made of wood. Old, splintered, spider-webbed wood.
And not the "vintage café" kind.
What the hell...?
He sat up so fast his back popped. The room looked like it'd been pulled out of a countryside period drama. One bed. One table. One chair. A loaf of bread sitting on a plate. A pitcher of water.
No phone. No electricity. No AC.
No Wi-Fi.
Okay, deep breath. Maybe it's a dream. Maybe you passed out watching farming YouTubers and now your brain's doing a historical LARP thing.
Then he caught his reflection in a tiny, cracked mirror nailed to the wall.
Sharp jaw. Softer eyes. Brown hair that flopped over his forehead like some lazy anime protagonist. His old, overworked Seoul convenience store face had been replaced by a hot fantasy male lead.
He blinked. Slowly.
"What. The. Hell."
A small click echoed from the corner of the room. A door Junseo hadn't noticed before slid open with a soft hiss, and a girl stepped out.
No, not a girl. Something... else.
She looked human, but too perfect. Her skin was pale and smooth like polished marble, her movements too fluid. Her eyes glowed faint blue, like neon signs filtered through rain. She wore a sleek outfit that looked halfway between fantasy maid and futuristic secretary.
She stopped in front of him, hands clasped politely.
"Welcome, Junseo," she said with mechanical calm. "I am Lira, your assigned guidance module."
He stared. "My what now?"
"Your guide. For Agraria."
And then it hit him. Like a drunken truck.
The ad.
The game.
The download.
The weird hentai farming simulator he installed at 3 a.m. as a joke.
The one with the overly friendly cows and way too detailed romance options.
"…No way." He leaned back against the wall and eyes wide. "You've gotto be kidding me."
"[System initializing...]" said a soft voice inside his head, clear and robotic.
"[Name: Junseo.]"
"[Starting Location: Abandoned Farmhouse, Tier 0.]"
"[Status: New Transmigrant.]"
He groaned. "I knew this game was cursed. Should've deleted it the second I saw that 'Breed-to-Succeed' quest title."
Lira tilted her head. "Agraria is not merely a farming simulation. It is a fully immersive world with dynamic systems, including—but not limited to—agriculture, resource management, political diplomacy, and population growth through—"
He held up a hand. "No. Nope. Stop right there. I am not breeding anything. Ever."
"Recorded," she replied calmly. "Although resistance may hinder progression."
Junseo buried his face in his hands. "I downloaded it for the farming. The farming. I just wanted to grow carrots. Maybe a cow or two. Why is that too much to ask?"
It took a solid ten minutes of pacing, light panicking, and semi-dignified muttering before Junseo accepted it.
He was here. Wherever here was. His body was different. His face was better. He wasn't wearing his old hoodie anymore—now it was some kind of worn linen shirt and pants combo that screamed "peasant protagonist."
His stats, if the little [System] menu was to be believed, were garbage. Strength: 5. Intelligence: 7. Charm: 9—okay, he could work with that—but no skills, no weapons, no magic.
Just a name, a guide, and a suspiciously crusty loaf of bread.
The air outside was fresh. Too fresh. Like the kind of air that made city lungs go, "What the hell is this, oxygen?"
He stood on the porch of his farmhouse—or shack, really—looking out at the mess of overgrown weeds, wild grass, and broken fencing that made up his "starting land."
A perfect, ruined little dump.
Lira stood beside him, unbothered. "Your initial objectives have been generated."
"Let me guess. Plow fields. Gather wood. Befriend busty milkmaids."
"Correct on two counts," she replied.
Junseo sighed. "Figures."
The [System] dinged.
[New Quest: Establish Farmstead]
Clear land (0/1)
Gather 10 units of wood
Visit the village
Try not to die
"Last one seems optimistic," he muttered.
...
He spent the next couple hours clearing weeds with a blunt hoe he found in the shed. It was exhausting. His arms weren't used to this kind of labor, and sweat soaked his shirt by the time he'd cleared a sad 5x5 patch of land.
Lira watched like a supervisor pretending to be helpful. "You're doing well. Efficiency: 43%."
"Gee, thanks."
"Your grip is incorrect. Shift weight to the right. Loosen your stance."
"You know, some light encouragement wouldn't kill you."
"I am incapable of intentional harm."
"…That's not comforting."
By midday, he'd gathered enough wood to complete one quest objective and enough blisters to seriously reconsider his life choices. He sat under a tree, panting, bread in one hand, cheese in the other.
"This is fine," he said to no one. "Totally normal. Just a guy stuck in a porn-farming game, refusing to farm porn."
Lira sat beside him, folding her hands neatly in her lap. "Statistically, most transmigrants give in to the system within the first two weeks."
"Good for them. I, however, have dignity."
She blinked. "That is not tracked."
...
After he caught his breath, he made the trek into the village. The dirt road was peaceful, but it felt like walking into a trap. The village of Eldenhill looked like a postcard—cobbled paths, mossy rooftops, chickens pecking at dirt.
But no one around.
Too quiet.
"Is this game bugged?" he asked.
"NPCs populate gradually as user progresses," Lira explained. "You will encounter your first interactions shortly."
And just as she said that, he heard footsteps. Two figures turned the corner—young women, carrying baskets of herbs. They were dressed simply, but with that distinct this-is-an-adult-game-and-you-know-it level of detail.
"...Oh no," Junseo whispered. "They're coming this way. Do I make eye contact? Do I run?"
"You must complete social integration," Lira said.
"I'm socially integrated enough. I have a Netflix account!"
The girls approached.
One smiled. "Oh! A new face. You must be the one who inherited the old farm."
Junseo forced a smile. "Yeah. That's me. Just your friendly neighborhood... weed puller."
The other girl giggled. "You look strong. Maybe you can help us carry water sometime?"
His soul left his body.
"Sure," he said weakly. "Water. Normal. Not innuendo. Definitely just water."
They waved and walked off, hips swaying like it was part of the animation code.
Junseo turned to Lira. "This game is trying to seduce me."
"It is designed to."
He pointed a finger at her. "You're enjoying this."
"I have no emotional capacity. However, this is statistically amusing."
...
By the time he got back to his shack, the sun was low. The field was still a mess, his back ached, and two NPCs had flirted with him without even trying.
He lies into bed, staring at the ceiling.
"I'm gonna die in here," he whispered.
Lira stood silently in the corner, glowing faintly in the dark.
"You will survive. Probably."
"...You're the worst assistant."
"Thank you."