Eren had one goal when he woke up that morning: survive.
Not thrive. Not progress. Just… don't die. That was it. That was the bar.
Instead, he opened his eyes to Lira looming over him again like a sleep paralysis demon with wifi.
"Master," she said, too close. "Today is the Harvest Festival."
Eren groaned and rolled over. "No."
"You are required by village law to attend."
"No."
"There will be free food."
"...Fine."
He sat up, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. "What's a Harvest Festival anyway? Please tell me it's not one of those 'sacrifice the outsider' situations."
Lira tilted her head. "Not usually."
"'Not usually' is not the reassurance I needed."
He got up, grabbed yesterday's shirt, and ignored the pile of notifications blinking in his peripheral vision. The system had been oddly chatty lately, ever since he kissed the soil and beat up a frog with emotional bonding energy.
That wasn't a metaphor. That literally happened.
[System Notification]
[New Event Unlocked – "Harvest Festival"]
[Status: Mandatory]
[Objectives: Attend festival, participate in community events, avoid emotional entanglement]
[Bonus Objective: Do not make eye contact with the horny baker lady]
The Festival Was... a Lot
By noon, the whole village was dressed in colors. Streamers hung from poles. Chickens wore tiny vests. Children ran around with masks shaped like vegetables. Someone had carved a massive pumpkin into the shape of two people hugging, and somehow it looked lewd.
Eren stood at the edge of it all, watching like someone who had never been invited to a birthday party in his life.
He wore the "festival outfit" Lira gave him: a loose white shirt, rolled sleeves, dark trousers, and leather boots polished so clean they made him look like a protagonist against his will.
He hated it.
He hated how good he looked.
And he really hated how many villagers kept glancing his way like he was the special dish of the day.
Lira appeared beside him, silently handing him a skewered meat stick. He took it without asking what kind of meat it was.
"Why do I feel like a lamb being fattened before the ritual?"
"Because today you are the most statistically attractive male under 30 in a 20-mile radius," she said flatly.
"That's not flattering. That's terrifying."
"You will likely be chosen."
"Chosen for what?"
But Lira just smiled mysteriously and vanished into the crowd.
Which was also terrifying.
The Stage. The Mayor. The Setup.
It turned out, the festival had multiple "cultural activities."
There was the corn husking contest.
There was a game called "Catch the Greased Chicken," which Eren immediately disqualified himself from.
And then there was the "Harvest Heart" event.
Which he didn't know about until the mayor, a round, aggressively cheerful man with a cane and a belly like a barrel of wine, called out:
"Citizens of Plowfen Village! Gather for the Choosing Ceremony! It is time to vote for our beloved Harvest Heart!"
People cheered.
Eren didn't.
"Wait," he muttered. "What is that? Why does that sound like a romantic death match?"
Someone behind him answered. "It's the village's way of matchmaking. They vote on the most desirable bachelor or bachelorette. Winner gets showered in affection, free food, and a guaranteed date."
"I'm sorry," he said. "A what now?"
He was already being pushed toward the stage.
"I do not consent to this matchmaking mechanic!"
[System Notification]
[Special Event Triggered – "Harvest Heart"]
[As the most novel eligible newcomer, you have been automatically entered]
[Do your best. Or don't. Either way, things are about to get interesting.]
[Warning: Winning may lead to unwanted romantic attention. Or worse—commitment.]
The Candidates. The Chaos.
He ended up standing on a raised wooden platform next to six other contestants.
To his left was Rolf, the buff but brain-light blacksmith who looked like he flexed in his sleep.
To his right was Mira, the tavern girl who smiled like she'd poisoned someone once and liked it.
Further down, he spotted Ceres—his client from the sheep incident—crossing her arms, glaring at him like he owed her child support.
And then… applause. Noise. Whistles.
The mayor's voice boomed again. "Citizens, place your tokens into the barrel of the heart you desire!"
Wooden hearts, painted red, were tossed toward barrels labeled with each contestant's name.
Eren's filled up fast.
Too fast.
It made him dizzy.
"Why do I have this many fans? I've been here a week!"
Lira passed by behind the stage. "You healed a chicken with music and punched a frog to save a sheep. You are now local legend."
"I hate this place," he whispered.
He Won. Of Course.
The mayor rang a bell.
"AND THE HARVEST HEART THIS YEAR IS… EREN!"
The crowd exploded in cheers.
Eren smiled like someone being forced to pose for a yearbook photo mid-panic attack.
People clapped. Some even started chanting his name.
"Is this how K-pop idols feel?" he muttered. "Because I am exhausted and scared."
Then the mayor leaned in.
"As per tradition, the winner must receive the First Kiss."
Eren turned pale. "Excuse me what now."
"Step forward," the mayor said, beaming. "Your suitor is here."
Enter Mystery Girl.
From the crowd emerged a cloaked figure.
Tall. Elegant. Definitely not a villager. Her cloak shimmered like liquid shadows, and her walk screamed "plot twist."
She stopped right in front of Eren.
Silence fell over the village.
Then, slowly, she pulled down her hood.
Silver hair.
Crimson eyes.
Perfect porcelain skin.
Definitely not from around here.
Eren's brain just stopped.
"You," she said softly, "are the SoulBound."
He blinked. "I'm sorry, the what?"
"You bear the mark," she continued. "I've been watching you."
Lira appeared again—out of nowhere, as always—whispering, "She's not registered. She's not from this region."
"No crap, Lira!"
The mystery girl leaned in.
"I give you my token."
And kissed him.
Right on the lips.
[System Alert]
[Event: "Kiss of Chaos" – Triggered]
[Hidden Affection Route Unlocked: ???]
[Your fate has just been screwed sideways.]
The Girl Vanished.
Literally vanished. Gone in a flash of silver light and arcane runes.
The crowd gasped.
Then clapped.
Then collectively decided that was fine, apparently.
Junseo just stood there, lips still tingling, eyes wide.
"I want a refund on my entire life."
Back at the Farmhouse. That Night.
Eren sat in his chair, silent, while Lira handed him a mug of cider.
"You kissed a mysterious stranger," she said.
"I was kissed," he corrected.
"She unlocked a hidden event path."
"I did nothing but exist."
"You now possess the 'Kissed by Chaos' trait."
Eren rubbed his face. "How is that a thing? Why is this game like this? I thought this was a farming sim."
Lira didn't respond.
He stood up and walked to the window. The moon hung low. The village was quiet. The air felt... heavier somehow.
He opened his [Status].
[Status Screen]
Name: Eren (Original: Junseo)
Class: None
Level: 3
Title: Harvest Heart
Reputation: Moderate (Fan Club Forming)
Affection Routes:
Mira (18%)
Ceres (21%)
Unknown Entity (??%)
Tomato Plant (5% but too clingy)
Skills:
[Soil Empathy Lv.2]
[Livestock Whisperer Lv.1]
[Natural Flow Lv.1]
[Rural Rhythm Lv.2]
New Trait: [Kissed by Chaos] – This character has been marked by an unknown force. Probability of supernatural encounters increased. Weirdness magnetism intensified.
He exhaled slowly.
"Okay," he said. "Let's summarize."
"I transmigrated into a cursed hentai farming game."
"I tried to avoid the romance mechanics."
"I somehow became the village heartthrob."
"I kissed a demon. Possibly."
"And now I'm the main character in a plot I didn't sign up for."
He looked at Lira.
"On a scale of one to 'we're all screwed,' how bad is this?"
She didn't answer.
Which was worse than an answer.