When Junseo opened the rickety wooden door of the cottage, he was half expecting to see a horde of orc women in lingerie waiting outside.
Thankfully, the only thing waiting for him was a sunrise so offensively peaceful it felt like an insult.
The village—if it could even be called that—was a handful of small homes scattered between rolling hills and wildflower fields. A wooden fence barely kept a few lazy goats from wandering off. Smoke curled from chimneys. Birds chirped like this was some perfect countryside sim.
Too peaceful. Suspiciously peaceful.
"Morning wood detected," Lira announced helpfully from behind him.
Junseo stumbled on the step, nearly faceplanting. "WHAT?!"
"Ah. Disregard. I meant wooden stairs. Translation sync at 87%."
"Fix that. Immediately."
"Understood. Recalibrating anatomy vocabulary."
He muttered curses in Korean under his breath. "This world better have coffee."
[Quest Received – "First Day, First Farm!"]
[Objective: Tend to your beginner field. Plant something. Water something. Feel something.]
[Reward: Starter Hoe, Starter Seeds, Emotional Damage Resistance +1.]
"Great," Junseo sighed. "The system has jokes."
He made his way to the back of the house, where a tiny patch of tilled soil waited like a low-effort tutorial level. There was a bucket, a watering can, and a wooden box labeled Seed Supply. Opening it revealed exactly three items:
Tomato seeds
Cucumber seeds
And... tentacle berry seeds.
"Nope. Absolutely not." He slapped the lid shut like it bit him. "Who the hell designed this game, and why were they so... unsupervised?"
"Would you like a farming tutorial?" Lira asked cheerfully.
"No. I've played enough games. I get it—dig hole, drop seed, water, profit."
"Incorrect. Here, 'fertilizer' refers to bodily—"
"I SAID NO."
He chose tomatoes. Safe, innocent, salad-compatible tomatoes. He planted them like a man refusing to acknowledge the hentai elephant in the room.
Lira stood silently beside him, hands clasped behind her back, scanning everything like a medieval Roomba.
"Your technique is acceptable," she finally said. "Though lacking in sensual flair."
"I swear I will throw this watering can at you."
"Understood. Updating trust metrics."
As Junseo finished watering the last tomato, the system chimed again.
[Skill Unlocked – Basic Farming Lv.1]
[New Trait: Dirt Familiarity – You now feel slightly less pathetic when touching soil.]
[Hint: Combine traits to evolve new abilities.]
He blinked. "Combine traits?"
"Yes," Lira nodded. "It's how skills evolve in this world. Example: Combine 'Dirt Familiarity' with 'Water Handling' to potentially create 'Irrigation Control.'"
"So... skills aren't just given. I gotta mix and match like I'm crafting a potion?"
"Correct. It is the core mechanic. Skill fusion is the only path to power."
Junseo exhaled. Okay. That was... actually cool.
Also, finally—some logic. This wasn't one of those isekai where the MC wakes up with god powers and starts blasting nobles with lightning bolts. He'd have to earn everything here. That, at least, made him feel a little more grounded.
Until Lira added: "Some skills may also evolve through intimate interactions with the locals."
"Of course they do," he said flatly. "Why wouldn't they."
Later That Day…
He wandered into the village, hoping to avoid eye contact with anyone until he understood the social norms.
No such luck.
"Oi! You new?"
A muscular, tanned man with a pitchfork waved him over. Behind him was a cart full of suspiciously round melons.
"Name's Rolf. You look lost. You a wanderer?"
Junseo gave the name the system assigned him—Eren. Which sounded dangerously anime, but he wasn't fighting titans, so whatever.
"Just moved in. From… uh, up north."
"Ah! Cold women up there. No warmth in their hips," Rolf nodded wisely. "You'll like it here. Real hands-on kind of place."
Junseo forced a smile. "...Right."
[Hidden Quest Triggered – "Melons and Misunderstandings"]
[Objective: Help Rolf deliver his melons.]
[Reward: Stamina +1, Local Reputation +2, New Dialogue Option Unlocked.]
"I hate everything about this," Junseo muttered, but grabbed the cart anyway.
The delivery took him to the village inn, a cozy place that smelled like ale, sweat, and questionable decisions. A busty innkeeper waved them in.
"Well well, Rolf, who's your new friend? He got strong hands?"
"Dunno," Rolf said. "But he handled my melons like a pro."
"...I'm not laughing," Junseo said, laughing internally.
"Name's Mira," she said, leaning over the counter in a way that defied physics. "Let me know if you need a room. Or company."
"No offense," Junseo said, "but I'm really focusing on crops right now."
Mira grinned. "A grower, not a shower. I like that."
As they left, Lira leaned in. "You handled that encounter with moderate awkwardness. Social interaction skill: +0.5."
"Gee, thanks."
Nightfall.
Back at his cottage, Junseo finally sat on the creaky bed and stared at the flickering lantern.
No phone. No Wi-Fi. No escape.
Just farming, flirting, and a robot girl who kept looking at him like he was a sex tutorial waiting to happen.
"Okay," he whispered. "Think, Junseo. You played this game. There has to be a way to break the system. Get ahead."
He opened his [Status].
Name: Eren
Level: 1
Skills:
Basic Farming Lv.1
Dirt Familiarity
Water Handling
Traits:
Mild Trauma
Reluctant Breeder
Handsome Bastard
He blinked. "Reluctant Breeder?"
"Automatically generated based on psychological profile," Lira said.
"I'm suing someone when I wake up."
"You are not dreaming."
"I'm still suing."