"You actually died!"
A man in an office suit stood with his arms tightly crossed over his chest, a vein twitching at his temple. His forced smile didn't even try to hide the simmering fury underneath.
"Oh, how wonderful to hear that," he said through clenched teeth.
The other person, no, being, floated slightly above the ground, dressed in a flowing white and gold robe. His long blond hair shimmered like sunlight, and his bright blue eyes looked like a puppy caught chewing on someone's favorite shoes.
"I-I'm not lying to you," the robe-wearing figure stammered. His voice was cracking like a nervous child's. "You really did die…"
Naoya Kisaragi's eyes narrowed. "Yeah? So what?"
"Actually, Mr. Naoya Kisaragi, I would… like to ask for your forgiveness."
A muscle in Naoya's eyebrow twitched.
"Forgiveness? I don't have time for this! I have a very important meeting to attend. Do you even know how hard I worked for this opportunity?" His voice grew louder with every word. "So you're saying, because some incompetent reaper or whoever messed up their job, I died before my fate was even decided?!"
His voice bounced off the vast space around them, which looked like a starry void, galaxies swirling quietly in the distance. A strange calmness blanketed the place, but Naoya's anger tore right through it.
Anyone would be furious.
He had been driving to Kiyoto, prepping his pitch in his head, when, bam! everything went dark. One second, he felt faint, the next his car… crashed.
And now he was stuck with some baby-faced "god" claiming it was a clerical error from heaven's HR department.
The so-called god lowered his head, almost trembling. "We're really, really sorry, Mr. Naoya!"
Naoya scoffed. "Sorry? I don't need your sorry! If you messed up, then give me my life back! Ahh damn it, my meeting!"
The god fidgeted, fingers curling nervously around the hem of his robe. "Usually," he began, "in cases like this, the person is granted a second chance. I mean, I'm the God of Second Chances, so... yeah."
Naoya raised a brow, narrowing his eyes. "Then fix it."
"Uhm, the thing is…" The god's gaze darted left and right like he was about to confess a crime. "Even if I send you back… your body only has, um… mostly… one leg left."
"…What?" Naoya's voice cracked, rising into a near-scream. His face went pale.
"My handsome face…" he whispered in horror. "Wait, what the hell am I supposed to do with just one leg?! A leg can't even think!"
The god flinched. "That's why…" he cleared his throat and straightened up, trying to sound like an all-powerful being delivering a final judgment. "I've decided to give you the body of another person. Someone who also died before their time."
Naoya blinked. "Huh? What am I supposed to do with someone else's body? I can't go to my meeting like that! I can't even prove I'm me!"
The god nodded solemnly. "That individual's soul has already… vanished. No second chance left for him. But his body is intact. So I think it's fair… for you to live his life instead."
"You gotta be kidding me…" Naoya slapped a hand over his face, dragging it down slowly. He was done. Completely, utterly done.
All his hard work… for nothing? Even being born into a rich family hadn't been a free pass. Sure, he inherited the company, but he'd poured blood and sweat into it, transforming it from a half-dead inheritance into one of the most powerful companies in the world.
And now, here he was. Dead.
The god, still hovering awkwardly in his glowing robe, perked up like he was trying to cheer him up. "Ugh, don't worry, Mr. Naoya! I know how much you love kingdom building! You can do whatever you want in the new body I'll give you!"
Naoya snapped. "Just shut up, you baby-faced god! Kingdom building, my ass! Aren't you supposed to be a god? Then resurrect my damn body or something!"
At that, the little god's lips trembled. Then, "Waaah!! I'm sorry!" he wailed, real tears dripping down his cheeks like a broken faucet.
Naoya's mouth dropped open in disbelief. "You're actually crying?!"
Was he too harsh on this sparkly crybaby? He rubbed his temple, trying to breathe.
Okay. One leg or not, a complete body sounded better than a half-burnt one. Yeah, he'd lose everything he built… but Naoya Kisaragi wasn't the type to give up. If he had to start from scratch, then fine. He would build it all again.
But to do that, he had to live first.
He sighed and dropped his hand, eyes tired. "Let's do it."
The god's sobbing stopped mid-sniff. He blinked at Naoya.
"Let's do what you said," Naoya repeated.
Then, glaring sharply, "But, this new body better be in perfect health, got it? If I die from some dumb illness right after waking up, I will crawl back here and drag your sparkly butt to hell with me. Got that?"
The god paled. Literally paled, his golden glow dimmed.
What is wrong with this human?! he thought. He'd met warlords, executioners, even demon kings but this guy was scarier than the Lord of the Underworld himself. No other human had ever yelled at a god, much less threatened one.
"A-ah, I see," the god stammered. "Then, in addition to the body, I'll give you one other… uh… gift. You'll receive it after you wake. So… we have a deal now, right?"
Naoya nodded. "Oh, one more thing, do you guys have a labor office or celestial court or something? I'd really like to file a complaint against your HR."
The god nearly cried again. "P-please don't! If you report us, we'll all get fired! I just gave you another bonus gift! So… so please… this one time, let it go…"
Naoya crossed his arms, exhaling like a disappointed manager. "…Fine. I won't file the complaint."
The god lit up in relief until Naoya spoke again.
"But instead," Naoya said with a smug grin, "you'd better answer me when I call you."
The god blinked. "Wait, what?!"
"What, you don't wanna?"
"It's not that!" he flailed. "It's just, I can't! Direct contact with humans is against divine law!"
Naoya tilted his head slowly. "Well, guess I have no choice then… I'll just go back to that complaint idea-"
"I'LL DO IT!" the god shouted, nearly tripping over his robe in panic. "I'll do it! Just don't write the report! Please!" He waved both hands wildly, clearly reaching the edge of his divine patience.
"Deal," said Naoya.
"…So, shall we begin the process now?" God asked weakly, wiping his tears one last time.
Naoya gave a firm nod. "Yeah. Let's do that."