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The Drunkard's Guide to Ignoring the Apocalypse

Garret was a useless drunkard in his old life — until he died in spectacularly stupid fashion while still holding a bottle. Reborn into the body of a common farmer in the frontier village of Cragmore, he quickly realizes two things: this world looks suspiciously like the plot of a classic "hero vs. Demon King" story, and he has zero interest in participating. While the earnest young hero Aldric gathers his destined party and the kingdoms scramble against the rising Demon King Vorath, Garret just wants to farm enough to keep his mug full, avoid monsters, and be left alone. He sees every obvious plot flag — tragic backstories, chosen-one moments, beautiful heroines with secrets — and immediately decides it's someone else's problem. But in a world where even casual advice from a half-drunk farmer somehow sounds like profound wisdom, Garret's reluctant presence starts drawing unwanted attention. From the overly eager aspiring adventurer girl who thinks he's a secret master, to the reformed young master desperately trying to escape his villain fate, people keep mistaking his laziness for hidden depth. He'll grumble, he'll drink, he'll try (and fail) to stay out of trouble. Because in the end, even a man who wants nothing to do with destiny might find it harder to ignore the people around him than the end of the world. A slow-burn comedy-drama about a professional avoider accidentally becoming the unintended heart of a fantasy epic.
Caspiwino · 1.6k Views

The Spoilt Beauty And Her Beasts

Isabella was supposed to be sipping champagne at a luxury spa, not waking up in the middle of a forest. Worse, a SYSTEM had attached itself to her like some clingy ex, spouting nonsense about survival, quests, and—oh, hell no—manual labor. "System, I was NOT built for the wilderness! My ideal ‘roughing it’ experience involves a five-star hotel with bad WiFi!" Now, instead of lounging in silk robes, she’s being ordered to farm? To hunt? "A farming quest? You want me—a city girl—to grow food? System, I once killed a cactus by overwatering it. This is NOT my calling!" And don’t even get her started on the hygiene situation. "You want me to bathe in a cold river? Darling, I require warm water, scented oils, and an ambience! What do I look like—some barbarian?!" Unfortunately, the locals—big, muscular beastmen—don’t seem to understand the concept of self-care. The women? Neglecting their skin like it’s a crime to be radiant. The men? Walking hygiene disasters. "Ladies, if your man can smell you before he sees you, we have a problem." "You see this? This is lotion. It exists so you don’t look like a dried-up leaf. Use it." "A beard should be majestic, not tragic. Let me fix it." And the beastmen? They don’t just stare at her like she’s an oddity. No, they hover. They smirk. They lean in too close, fangs flashing with amusement. "Why do you keep looking at me like that?" she huffed, crossing her arms. The panther grinned, his tail flicking. "Because you’re fascinating when you’re annoyed." No, absolutely not. She was not here for this nonsense. "If you have time to stare, you have time to moisturize." She didn’t ask to be here. She didn’t ask to be their savior. But if she has to suffer through this world, she’s making everyone around her suffer less—through skincare, style, and some serious attitude. "If I hear one more ‘We don’t season our food here,’ I’m launching a war." "If you have time to gossip, you have time to do squats." "You want to impress a woman? Start with not smelling like the battlefield." Survival isn’t just about fighting monsters; it’s about looking good while doing it. So what if the System keeps throwing impossible quests her way? "What do you mean ‘you can’t skip quests’?! Since when?! Where is the skip button?! I demand a skip button!" But somewhere between dodging ridiculous quests and fixing these people’s tragic grooming habits, Isabella found herself in situations. Uncomfortable, heart-racing situations. Like being trapped against a tree by the red python, his red eyes half-lidded as he murmured, "You talk too much, little star. Should I silence you?" Like waking up with the lion lord’s fur-lined cloak draped over her shoulders, his deep voice gruff, "You shiver in your sleep. I’ll fix that." Like the phoenix watching her every move, his burning gaze searing into her skin as he mused, "You cause chaos wherever you go, but I find that I don’t mind." Oh, hell. No. She was not about to fall for four beastmen. She was too pretty for this much stress. "If you insult me again, I’ll make sure your soul needs a beauty upgrade." "I refuse to be disrespected by anyone who dresses like an unwashed tree branch." And yet, when a rival tribe came to challenge her, when danger lurked too close, those same beastmen stood beside her—smirking, taunting, fighting for her. "A beastman growled at me today. I growled back. He ran. I am the alpha now." Isabella isn’t just surviving. She’s thriving. And this world better keep up.
Glimmer_Giggle · 603.6k Views

World of Laws and Magic

Nick Capitol is a young man with a dream of becoming the best Magician possible. Everyday is a grind for him: training, reading books and practicing magic, these mean everything to him and he won't stop until his goals are achieved. Nick enrolls in Richter Order Academy for a chance to become a Magician and adventure throughout all the realms but first he must overcome the hurdles of figuring out who he is and what magic means to him. In his mind, no-one is above him, there is nothing that cannot be achieved through hard work and dedication and as far as the rules are concerned, with magic the rules are his to manipulate. His journey will be filled with plots, danger and death. "None of that matters if it means that I, Nick Capitol, can become the best!" A journey towards greatness or death, that's what this story is. Follow along as Nick Capitol conquers his enemies as well as himself in order to reach the pinnacle of magic. Please support this project by joining my Patreon audience, at which time you would gain access to better edited chapters and in the future, more exclusive content regarding the novel such as illustrations and chapters expounding on the backgrounds of important characters, which will not be available anywhere else. Thank you for your interest. Patreon Link: https://patreon.com/NickoyGibbons_UnconquerableSoul?utm_medium=unknown&utm_source=join_link&utm_campaign=creatorshare_creator&utm_content=copyLink [I will be posting this story on RoyalRoad.com]
Unconquerable_Soul · 210.2k Views