Prologue:
"What is happiness?"
I ask myself that every damn day. Is it being acknowledged by others, finally feeling like you matter? Is it that endless hunger, the desire to want something so badly that the wanting itself keeps you alive? Or maybe it's simpler than that—being with someone who understands you, who takes a piece of your pain and throws it aside, who can make you smile even when everything feels like it's crumbling.
But I wouldn't know. Since the day I was born, I've searched for an answer and found nothing but silence.
Loneliness has been my only companion. Everyone I've ever let close has been ripped away, like the world was playing some cruel joke just to watch me break. First Anna. Then my father. Every time I reach out, the hand I hold slips away.
So maybe it's not a joke. Maybe it's punishment. Maybe I committed a sin the moment I breathed.
A sin… just to exist.
20 Years Ago (3046)
The year after Anna passed away.
"Huff… huff…" My lungs burned with every breath.
My name is Zet. People used to tell me I was strong—special, even. I don't know what the hell they saw in me. Right now, I feel like nothing more than a terrified kid drowning in a nightmare.
The night was black, but the three moons above shone bright as if mocking the horror below. Their pale light cut across the village, illuminating every twisted shadow, every broken scream. Then the cold hit—sharp, sudden, unnatural. It slid down my spine like an icy blade, and I knew before I saw it that something was wrong.
Bodies. Everywhere. The streets that once carried laughter and warmth were slick with blood. My blood. Their blood. Everyone's.
I stumbled, staring at my hands, shaking so violently I could barely recognize them as mine. They dripped red, sticky and warm, and the smell clawed at the back of my throat. I wanted to vomit, to close my eyes, to wake up somewhere else.
But I couldn't look away.
"Oh? Still alive?"
The voice cut through the ringing in my ears, distant and cruel. "Tch… I was ordered to capture you alive. Pff… guess I should be relieved. Thought I was a goner if you'd died on me."
I blinked slowly, the world tilting. My eyes burned, dark circles blurring my vision. I was only seven. Just a kid. But the pain didn't care about age. The sword still jutted out near my chest, steel buried in me like some twisted flag claiming victory. Every shallow breath scraped fire through my lungs.
I caught a flicker of blue in the blood-soaked dirt—my hair. My own. The color of the sky, now matted with red. My eyes, once sharp and proud, barely kept open.
And then—shadows. Black, shifting, faceless. I tried to focus, but my sight betrayed me. There were two of them, I think. Two figures standing over me. Their faces? Gone, swallowed by the dark. My mind told me they were people, but my body screamed monster.
My lips parted, but no words came. My throat was raw, torn. My body had already betrayed me, strength drained from bone and soul alike. The will to fight… the will to even breathe… slipped away the moment I saw what they'd done.
Silence. A silence so heavy it rang louder than any scream.
I just want to rest.
My eyes fluttered shut, surrendering to the dark.
"Zet."
I couldn't tell who it was. My hearing was already fading, nothing but muffled echoes swimming in the dark. But my heart… my heart whispered a single word.
Father.
My chest tightened, not from the sword buried near my heart but from that sudden surge of hope. Father. Finally. I wanted to believe it. Needed to.
Relief washed over me, heavier than the pain. For the first time since the nightmare began, I felt safe. My body was gone, broken and drained, but my mind held on to that one fragile thought.
I didn't even realize my lips were curving into a smile.