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Death Can't Spell And I Have a Very Long Name!

Alistair Cornelius Archibald Fitzgerald Reginald Maximilian Pendragon the Third, of the Northumberland Pendragons Sushi, has three goals: Get rich Stay alive Never think about his dead family again Two out of three isn't bad. Orphaned at three, raised by a grandmother who saw the future and didn't like what she found, Alistair survived childhood through a combination of protective magic and sheer spite. His name isn't just absurd, it's a weapon. Each syllable is a ward against cosmic forces that marked him before birth. The only problem? When he actually died as a child, Death started filling out his intake paperwork, got bored halfway through writing his name, and just... forgot about him. Now seventeen years later, Alistair is a small-time acquisitions specialist (thief) working for a criminal organization that definitely doesn't know he's technically immortal due to bureaucratic oversight. They want him to retrieve a stolen artifact that contains fragments of primordial creation energy. Easy job. Good pay. Terrible consequences if he fails. But the artifact is more dangerous than advertised. The people hunting it are more ruthless than expected. And Death just realized there's incomplete paperwork with Alistair's name on it, which means eventually, inevitably, someone's going to have to write out that entire ridiculous name. Death would rather break cosmic law than deal with that. A dark fantasy comedy about ambition, survival, and why bureaucracy is the real cosmic horror.
Top_Tier_Niche · 2.9k Views

COUGAR SYSTEM ONLINE

WARNING: MATURE CONTENT +18 If she was a character in a book, she would have been the perfect villainess created to disrupt the leads in their pursuit of true love. Born with a silver spoon, Sarah lived her life like a hooligan, loved like there was no tomorrow, and pursued whoever made her heart flutter. What is love? This question had always tormented her, daunted her, and haunted her for most of her life. Love made her unruly, made her happy, led to her fall, and made her lose everything that meant everything to her. Living a life filled with so many unanswered questions it wasn’t easy; that was until she finally found out what role she had been playing in the so-called book if she was a character in one; a pitiful cannon fodder. Unknowingly used by an enemy she had never met, Sarah found herself losing everything and everyone around her because of a love that was doomed from the beginning. And when she thought that everything was lost and gone, she found herself bound to a system that promised her riches, fame, and, above all, a second chance to rectify her wrongdoings. How will she use this opportunity? Will she forgive and move on with her life? Will she open her heart and find love? Or will she choose to have it all? Read more to find out!!!!!!!!!!!! Excerpt [Ding! Mission: Find a baby boy in 12 months. Reward: 1 skill art.] [Ding! Mission accomplished. The host successfully brought the first boy home. Keep up the good work and spread the word about what a fantastic cougar you are. How can you have just one boy as a qualified cougar?] [Ding! Issuing a chain mission. How can you, a great cougar, be satisfied with just one baby boy? Make it your mission to bring in as many boys as possible. Don't you think it's nice to have a lot of people around you who love you, care for you, and protect you?] [The mission's duration is indefinite, and the host should always keep in mind that all boys must be seven years younger, or more and rewards will be issued. I look forward to your commitment.]
GEEGEE · 1m Views