An exotic, noisy bird sings overhead as a pair of capable, light-absorbing claws lift the map.
"It should be right around here." Navigator Minion studies the topographical map, his hands clutching it before lowering it to survey the encroaching valley in front of them. "…I could probably find it a little sooner if somebody would stop hacking his way through every vine he sees," he notes just as Explorer Minion, sporting his favorite pair of khaki trousers and a tan explorer's hat, swings in with his machete, cutting through another bevy of vines just a meter from the well-beaten path.
"That's completely silly," Explorer Minion scoffs. "Everything is precisely as it should be," he adds, twirling his ether-made, glowing white mustache—a very rare feature among the Minionry. "It's not a proper adventure if one isn't met with a proper amount of resistance!"
Just then, Scout Minion and Mime Minion, both in their usual outfits and not at all dressed for the occasion, step up along the ridge, following Navigator Minion's lead.
"Ah, so glad you two could join us," Explorer Minion says, squinting an eye.
Mime Minion smiles and waves, while Scout Minion, already approaching her wits' end with these fellows, gives a single wry smirk before answering, "I think I'm happy to hold up the rear with Mime Minion here. Wouldn't want to mess up your vibe, seeing as you're having so much fun with all the bickering."
Explorer Minion rolls his eyes, and continues on with a hearty scoff, the kind owned by one that surely can endure any kind of adversity.
"Oh, my dear, my darling little scout, we are most assuredly not bickering. I understand that to your easily excitable, immature, feminine mind, that might seem like the case, but you must understand that we're both professionals in what we do, and we're very passionate about doing things the right way," Explorer Minion says with a slick pull of his glowing white, exceptionally silly mustache.
"We are most assuredly bickering," Navigator Minion says with a smirk as he brushes off a sleeve on his nice blue coat.
Scout Minion, a minuscule sort but still taller than Explorer Minion by a good few inches, nods in off-the-cuff acknowledgment. "Yeah, you're most assuredly bickering," she chimes in good-humoredly. "It's a principle of operational security to stay quiet and practice noise discipline," Scout Minion adds with a smirk. "But I don't imagine that's something your easily excited head can wrap itself around, can it?"
Explorer Minion rolls his eyes again. "Ah, they did tell me about you. Ever the one with a lash on the back," he says while Navigator Minion, eyes still on the map, winces in irritation.
Overlooking the jungles below, Scout stretches over as she makes out the thin outline of what seems to be some kind of ziggurat.
"Well, lookie there," she says, her antennae snapping slightly to point out the general direction of the find. Minions hardly ever use their antennae to point at things unless it's done as a joke, but it just so happens that her noticing before the two so-called explorer types comes off as particularly humorous to her.
Navigator Minion squints at the hill of trees for a moment, only to brighten up a second later. "That's… that's it! That's it!" he exclaims as the others marvel at the magnitude of the structure. "Great eye!"
Weathered by untold histories, the form of the building seems more like a natural mountain than something made by the conscious effort of a long-forgotten people. Despite the heat of the day, there's something unnaturally cold about the ziggurat, as if it had simply punched upwards from the earth over the millennia.
Scout Minion places her little black hands upon her hips and fires off a proud smile. "Think I fill these boots pretty well. After all, I got my fame off of finding things in far-off places."
"Finding things?" Navigator Minion asks with a good-natured, if confused smile. "I thought you were famous for your lack of restraint and psychotic temp—" He stops himself when he sees her now omniverse-known "side glance" aimed at him.
"…Mmm?" she asks simply, her tone as thin as a string upholding an anvil.
Navigator Minion clears his throat as he turns towards the mass of vines and trees. "Would you just look at that. It's like a mountain!" he exclaims as Explorer Minion leaps up and throws out his arms in excitement.
"A mountain filled with GOLD, I say! GOLD for The Crown!"
Scout Minion forgoes her spat with Navigator Minion to instead focus on the less tolerable of the two.
"You know…" she starts, quickly winning a roll of the eyes from Explorer Minion.
"Yes?"
"We could just have Alchemy Minion make you some gold if it's such a big deal to y—"
"Darling," Explorer Minion interrupts as if to an eager-but-clueless archaeology student.
Her gaze slants as a flock of exotic birds soars from one nearby tree into another across the valley. "Oh, it's 'darling' now?" she asks. "You're paying the bill a bit hard."
Explorer Minion laughs. "It's not simply gold we're after. We're after relics, culture, history, understanding! After all, those who forget the past are doomed to repeat it!"
She nods. "Oh, of course, professor! You wouldn't be so droll as to go after simple material wealth!"
He gives a curt, jagged smile as he glances aside. "I suppose you could say I do it all for—"
"Recognition?" she finishes for him, placing her hands together nicely.
Explorer Minion puffs up like one of the weird birds they've seen. "Why- never! I thought this would be a good opportunity to include… less fortunate minions in the pursuit of discovery and intrigue. I hadn't at all assumed you'd misinterpret my graciousness as an attempt to drum up press! I do it all for charity!"
She grins as they face each other. "That's so cool of you. I'm sure Poppi's gonna to be way impressed with you showing us underprivileged ruffians around… like one of Towerne's best bodyguards and…" She looks over to Mime Minion, who's put aside his pack and is just finishing cutting up invisible fruits and putting them into an unseeable bowl for the birds.
"Mime Minion," she adds, both as a statement and a question.
Explorer Minion shrugs. "I… I don't know. I thought he'd make for some good entertainment on the trip over here!"
She sighs. "That's… an amazing assumption, big dog—truly something else. Are you really going to give him that black-and-white striped explorer's hat for coming all the way here like you said? Or is he just here to carry your stuff around?"
"O-of course! He'll be duly rewarded for his bravery," Explorer Minion erupts. "An explorer is always good to his word!"
With a gentle, faithless smile, she nods the assumption away. "Mmm, okay," she says before turning back to the ziggurat. "So, looks like we got some company down below," she observes after taking only a glance into the thick canopy of trees below them.
Explorer Minion scoffs as Navigator Minion deploys his nifty spyglass and aligns the runes to investigate at the base of the structure.
"Preposterous, my dear," Explorer says as he readjusts his bowl hat before waving to the ziggurat. "The ruins of Mi'da'sai have only recently been discovered by Observation Tower. To think there are people of any kind living here that would allow the structures to take on this amount of disrepair is simply improbable!"
"No… I see 'em too," Navigator Minion notes matter-of-factly as he retracts his spyglass and slips it back into his coat. "Some kind of run-off dragon-kin tribe. Probably led by a heraldic."
Explorer Minion bursts into laughter. "Good sir! A heraldic in this random backwater?"
Scout Minion's eyes close to slits. "It's the only place someone like that would still be alive—a kin with high magic potential but just high enough that it still stays under sig-scry. The Knights wouldn't see something that size, especially not during The Wars. They had bigger fish to fry."
Explorer Minion raises his finger to explain this away, but Navigator Minion is too quick to agree.
"The Knights wouldn't have allowed this to happen anywhere they'd know about. A heraldic-class would spell death for themselves and any kin stupid enough to protect them," he says, affording a regretful glance to Scout Minion just a second too late. "I mean, at least that's how they'd see—"
"Naw, dude," Scout interrupts blandly. "You're right. They're just as clueless as anyone else—probably still believe the war's going on, too."
A weirdly solemn moment passes over them before Mime Minion finishes petting and admiring a bird that looks weirdly close to a random patch of thin air.
"Just imagine," Navigator Minion says, "fighting for something that was killed so long ago that it predates your entire history: the motive completely drowned out… and only the inclination remains."
"Goodness above!" Explorer Minion barks. "I didn't request Historical Analysis Minion for this adventure! I needed a navigator, and navigate you did! Now, let me do my part and let's depart with these savages to get to the exploring part!"
Navigator Minion flinches. "Wh-what are you planning on doing?!"
"I'm going to shoot them, of course! Lay one low and the rest will go running – stupid savages. Nothing simpler than that!"
"That's a bad call," Scout snips. "If they have a heraldic, then it'll be packing some kind of magic bullshit. We won't be able to tell what it is until we get a better loo—"
"Mana dampening," Navigator coughs out nervously.
She winces. "Ooooh! Big boy over here can just call out magic forms at a glance. Would you like to share with the group just what makes you think that?" she asks.
"Just…" he clears his throat, "a hunch," he says, wide-eyed.
Scout looks behind herself at long last to see a group of about thirty dragon-kin, painted with mud and berries, pointing their enchanted spears at their little black-and-white minion faces.
"Mmm, a hunch," she says.