Once again, I find myself lying over an endless field of snow.
The gears hang above me, covering the sky—suspended like an ancient clock waiting for me to wake up.
Everything is the same as yesterday.
Even in the dark, I can recognize it.
It's the same scene that greets me the moment I close my eyes.
"Every time I fall asleep, I wake up in this snowy field."
"And whenever I die here, I return to the last place where I drifted off."
I've counted two thousand, one hundred and ninety-four nights.
Six years repeating the same loop.
"No matter how hard I try…"
There is no sun here. No moon either.
Just a dungeon that splits my soul between two worlds.
Darkness sets the gears in motion.
Light resets them with my death.
For a second, winter reminds me of the wind from this afternoon.
"Hey, you look like a zombie… Did you sleep at all?".
Minoru poked my arm while adjusting the delivery boxes on the bike.
"I'm just a little tired."
"Another weird night?"
he asked, tilting his head.
"It's nothing."
He looked ahead, as if knowing I wasn't going to explain any further.
He climbed onto the bike and settled in.
"Well, as long as you don't fall asleep on the job… we're good."
Then he slapped the back seat.
"Come on, have you ever given up over something this simple?"
"Never…"
I gave the same answer I always do.
Even if he wanted to help me, he couldn't.
"Instant reply… I'm impressed by how stubborn you are."
I sighed and climbed on behind him.
The bike wobbled for a moment before gliding down the snowy road.
For those brief seconds, everything felt normal.
My everyday life… my place in the world…
…But just one second was enough to lose it all.
Enough to return to my only truth.
I…
No matter how desperately I wished to stay there…
Once again...
Before I realized it, my vision was already fixed on the sky.
I had to fight for my life.
It was the same sensation as always.
Snow falling around me… my breath dissolving into thin trails of frozen vapor.
And five shadows staring at me from the distance.
They advanced without leaving footprints, patiently waiting for any movement—
Like predators stalking their prey.
I couldn't stay still any longer.
I pushed myself up; my legs felt heavy, but I stood my ground.
I had seen these same fragments devour me as many times as I had awakened in this world.
I never understood why.
I didn't even know who I was before waking up here.
Sometimes I wondered if my real life was actually this place—
This snowfield that welcomed me each time I closed my eyes.
The first time I woke up...in this frozen world—
The sound of my breathing echoed harshly.
I was shaking; my limbs were so numb I could barely move them.
I blinked several times until my eyes adjusted.
When they finally did, I stumbled to my feet.
My legs moved, but they didn't feel like mine—As if I had awakened inside a smaller version of myself.
The body of a nine-year-old child.
"Where… am I?"
I stared at my frozen hands, my bare feet, the thin cloth barely covering me.
I kept walking even though there was no path to follow.
One step, then another.
I had no sense of time—It could've been minutes, hours… or an eternity.
The world felt pristine, perfect, as if I were the only foreign object in it.
But I was wrong.
When I reached the end of my aimless trail, the ground began to tremble.
That's when I saw them rise out of the snow.
Five fragments—shapes that looked as though they had come from the same place I did.
Before I realized it, they had already surrounded me.
Two on each side, one in front, two behind—A perfect circle cutting off all escape.
Their movements were synchronized, guided by a single will.
I stood still, staring at them.
The first shadow raised its arm and pierced through my stomach.
The world warped as I collapsed.
Their figures blurred.
Blood slid down my abdomen.
Snow slipped between my fingers.
I felt myself being dragged into a black ocean.
I couldn't tell if I was sinking or floating—Only that something inside me was dissolving.
Then the screams shattered the silence.
I couldn't move or form words.
Darkness smothered me, stealing every thought.
Then—I saw it.
A white, humanoid silhouette standing within the void.
Its shape was hazy, almost ethereal.
Its hollow eyes examined me—Every last fragment of my soul...
Perhaps judging whether I held any worth.
But a slight tilt of its head was enough for its form to blur and fade into nothingness.
I didn't know if that gesture meant disdain...or if it was telling me to keep trying.
With that faint motion, countless tendrils sprouted from the abyss and wrapped around me.
That was my first death.