When everything went dark, I opened my eyes to a different kind of snow.
To the real world.
I remember the warmth of a coat draped over my shoulders, and the worried voice of an old man.
The child standing beside him stared at me without blinking.
They had found me in a park, half-frozen in the snow, and didn't hesitate to rush me to the hospital.
I couldn't remember who I was or where I came from, so I clung to their voices.
Wataru and Minoru.
They were the beginning of my life.
They gave me a roof, warmth, and a name to call my own.
They stayed by my side, keeping me company in the emergency room when the night dragged on too long.
Those first days were hard for me.
I would wake up crying, clutching the sheets of the hospital cot.
My mind returned again and again to that hell.My body remembered death even though I was still in that room.
The nurses insisted they were only nightmares, but the fear kept eating at me.I was exhausted, but I had no escape.
I overheard someone say that if I continued like that, they would send me to a place for children with psychological problems instead of an orphanage.
So I forced myself to hide it.
I covered my mouth whenever my body trembled and sweat rolled down my face.
I stayed there for a month before being transferred to an orphanage for another six months.
It was a quiet place, but unbearably gloomy.
When I woke up each morning, the room greeted me with the snores of the other children, yet my eyes struggled to recognize it.
My hands would grip my chest, trying to confirm whether I was still alive.
I looked pale, frightened—broken.
And people don't want to carry something that's broken.
The couples who came to adopt children would look at me in silence.
Their eyes lingered on me for only a few seconds before they whispered to each other and quickly walked away to choose from the others.
I understood.
No one wanted to adopt someone like me.
But Wataru never walked away.
In fact, he returned to visit me with Minoru so often that I grew used to expecting them.
Until, in the sixth month, he decided to adopt me.
I don't know if it was out of compassion or because he thought no one else ever would…
…but he took my hand when no one else dared to.
So I made myself a promise.
I would give him the best version of myself, without showing weakness.I'd stay strong and never burden him with my problems.
From then on, I kept everything a secret—telling them I was simply prone to nightmares to cover it up.
Until now…
Whenever I recall the past, the voices in the abyss echo in my mind, reminding me that there is no salvation for me.
And when I open my eyes, my bedroom fades away.
Once again, I awaken in the snow.
"I'm tired of this!"
In a single blink, my gaze locks onto the sky.
"Does it entertain you to keep me trapped in this loop?!"
"Will you keep ignoring me,
My voice echoed, but no answer returned.
I could swear that the white silhouette was still watching me from within the void.I named it the
"Why do you hate me?!"
Ever since my first night, sleeping meant waking up in this snowy field.
But I had reached my limit.
"Do you enjoy watching me lose my sanity?!"
My voice spread across the frozen plain.
No matter how many questions I shouted, silence was the only thing that answered.
And as my voice scattered, my knuckles tingled as I clenched a fist.
I wanted to hold onto that faint cold—the only thing that kept me standing.
At least until the message echoed from the horizon.
It wasn't there at the beginning.
It actually appeared at the end of the second year—the night I managed to bring down one of the shadows.
At first, I had no weapon to defend myself.
But that night, bandages appeared around my arms, and the shadows changed their attack patterns.
They began using weapons too the moment I proved I could hurt them.
The first carried a spear;the second, a heavy sword;the third, curved blades;the fourth, a scythe;the fifth, a pair of chains.
Since then, every night became forced training.
Distance against the spear.Impact against the sword.
Quick cuts against the curved blades.
Sweeping counters against the scythe.Escape against the chains.
Each battle made me stronger.
And though I started by imitating them, my own limits shaped a style of my own—a combat style capable of countering them.
My bandages responded to my demands, as if they carried memories of a past I couldn't recall.
Again, the message rose from the horizon.
It was the final warning.
There was no time to doubt the command.
I gripped the pair of curved blades tightly.
They were as light as the wind, bound to the dark bandages that wrapped around most of my arms.
"
I whispered those words, knowing no one would hear them.
"You can ignore me… kill me as many times as you want… but you still won't escape from whatever you're running from."
I blinked once, twice.
The air felt heavy with every movement.
Deep down, I understood—no one could reach me in this place.
It was just me and the darkness.
The same endless horizon, the same snow, the same silence that seemed to enjoy watching me fall.
I was exhausted by this cycle...by returning to the same place.
This time, I would give everything I had left in one final attempt.
If I wanted to live, I had to fight for myself.
And if that was the
In an instant… the present returned to me.
No doubts. No regrets.
Only a decision.
My hands tightened around the hilts of my blades.
"…
I pointed my right fist toward the infinite horizon.
"This step is all you need to understand that I will break your world… even if it means breaking myself with it."
The shadows rushed toward me the moment they heard that.
They knew I wasn't the same as before.
My stance belonged to someone who had misplaced his own essence…
…to the spirit of someone who had not been defeated.
One last time.