"Damn it...," I muttered weakly, covering my mouth with my hand xbefore letting out a hoarse, rasping cough.
I grimaced as I felt flecks of blood splatter across my palm, slowly trickling down my hand and wrist. I reached out for a tissue to wipe it off, wincing as I felt a sharp pang in my chest.
As I cleaned the blood off, I let out a strained, shaky sigh as I stared out the open window at the night sky, a gentle, pleasant breeze blowing in.
It sure is a nice night, huh?
My name is Kaivel Intrix, I'm twenty-five years old...and I'm pretty sure I'm dying.
My chest hurts, my body feels so frail and weak, I don't think I have the strength to even sit up anymore, let alone stand or walk around, not to mention the fact that I've been coughing up blood.
It's...it's getting hard to breathe, and the corners of my vision are steadily starting to blur and darken, I...I feel so cold, but also hot at the same time.
Y-Yeah, I...I can tell, it feels clear to me, the fact that I'm definitely dying.
Damn it...if I knew I was going to die tonight, I would've bought a case or two of beer. Maybe some weed too.
Instead, here I am, slowly and excruciatingly succumbing to my demise, while completely sober.
Oh...I can barely keep my eyes open anymore, my eyelids feel so damn heavy. I'm not sure if I'm still breathing, I can barely feel anything anymore.
Looks like this is it. I...I don't want to die, not like this, and yet, a part of me feels so...so relieved-...
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Huh?
In that moment, it felt like time slowed down to a crawl, everything seemingly moving in slow motion, as the memories of my life up to this point flooded my mind.
Huh, is that what it's like to have your life flash before your eyes?
I figured everything would just go dark and that'd be the end of that, but I guess I was wrong, go figure.
I really don't need this though, the life I lived is far from one worth remembering.
I mean, sure, it started off well enough, I suppose. I grew up in a happy family, did pretty well in school, I was even on track to compete in a national gymnastics tournament.
But then, it turned out that my father was in deep debt to a crime syndicate, and after failing to pay off his debt by the deadline, they killed my mother to send a message.
After that, my father fell into a deep depression, started drinking and became pretty abusive, to put it lightly.
The love and affection I'd once felt for him soon disappeared, and the feeling seemed to be mutual.
And it only got worse from there.
He eventually ran off to escape the syndicate, abandoning me and saddling me with the mountain of debt he'd racked up. He left me at the mercy of the syndicate's debt collectors, when I was only fifteen.
I never saw him again.
I had no choice but to drop out of school and work several part-time jobs, to pay the very people who had murdered my mother in cold blood.
But in hindsight, a high school dropout was never going to be able to make enough money to pay off that massive debt, and every single day was hell.
I tried to run away several times, but I always failed, they caught up to me before long and brought me back to that hell.
Eventually, I just gave up and accepted it, I felt I didn't have a choice but to resign myself to my fate.
There was no escape, no respite to speak of. I had a pet cat, she helped keep me from completely drowning in despair. But that didn't last long.
No matter how much and how hard I worked, I was constantly behind on my payments to the syndicate, and to teach me a lesson, they...they killed my cat right in front of me.
Going to the cops was useless too, the syndicate had connections there, and proceeded to beat me senseless when I tried to seek help from the police.
There was no running away either, as I found out the hard way.
The first time I tried to run away, they ripped off three of my fingernails after they caught me. The second time, they ripped off all my fingernails. The third time, they moved on to my toenails.
The fourth time, they peeled off several patches of skin off my chest, stomach and back, leaving several permanent scars. There wasn't a fifth time.
Then, about two years ago, I got sick. Of course, I couldn't afford medicine or treatment, and the debt collectors weren't exactly understanding.
So, I had no choice but to keep working, my illness worsening with each passing day. Honestly, it's kind of a miracle that I survived this long.
And now, here I am, stepping through death's door.
It's strange, though...I'm feeling a lot of things right now, but above all else, I feel a sense of relief.
Finally, it's over.
What a wretched fucking life I led. I...I lost everything I ever cared about. And yet, I kept persisting, but for what? Was it all for this? To die, sick and alone?
Before I knew it, the sense of relief I felt began to fade, a burning, unbearable rage taking its place. Damn it, wh-what...what the hell did I do to deserve any of this, huh?!
This isn't fair, I was just an ordinary kid, I never did anything wrong, I never hurt anyone...so why the hell did all this happen to me?!
I...I wish I had a second chance. After everything I've been through, all the bullshit I've endured, I deserve a do-over!
Those bastards at the syndicate, they were all cruel, sadistic pieces of shit, all they ever did was make others suffer.
And despite that, they all lived lavish, luxurious lives, wanting for absolutely nothing...IN WHAT FUCKING WORLD IS THAT FAIR?!
And my father, h-how...how could he do this to me?!
You damned bastard...you goddamned deadbeat piece of shit, you got mom killed! This was your debt, it was your fucking problem, how dare you drag us into it?!
And then, you...you just ran away, you fucking coward, foisting all your problem onto me! I-I'll...I'll never forgive you, you hear me?!
I deserve another chance, damn it...I deserve a life where I can live as I please, a life where I can fulfill my every desire!
Wealth, power, women, you name it, everything I didn't have in this rotten fucking life, I want it all!
Those syndicate bastards, they always wore expensive clothes and accessories, I bet they bought whatever they wanted, ate and drank whatever they wanted, fucked whoever they wanted!
They...they had everything they could possibly want, and yet, they took from me what little I had! They took everything from me!
It's not fair, damn it, why do they get to have fulfilling lives while I suffered?! I want to live freely and lavishly too, just like they did! Everything they had, I want it all and more!
I...I want to eat good food, I want to try every delicacy there is to offer, I want to drink the finest wines, feast on the most tender meats, gorge myself on the richest desserts, indulge in the most exotic fruits, I want it all!
I had to work constantly, wearing myself down to the bone day in and day out, I don't even remember the last time I got a good night's sleep!
I...I want to be able to do things at my own pace, to sleep and laze about whenever I goddamn feel like it!
I want to hook up with attractive women with reckless abandon, I want to drown in a sea of passion and intimacy without a care in the world, to fuck and fuck AND FUCK, until I'm FUCKING sick of it!
I don't want to ever be at the mercy of someone else's beck and call ever again, I just...I just want to live my life freely.
Yeah, I...I won't let anyone ever control my life again, never again, I want to live life on my own terms, damn it!
Hm?
Everything is starting to fade now, even the pain...I see, this must be the end, I'm about to die. Looks like this is it for me, then. This feels...more peaceful than I would have thought.
I wonder, what's that strange, robotic voice I keep hearing? It's gone quiet now...was it some kind of hallucination?
Well, I suppose it doesn't really matter anymore.
Everything then faded to black, as if I'd drifted off into a deep, deep sleep...
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Hm?
I see a light piercing through the darkness, steadily growing brighter and brighter with each passing second.
Wh-What is this? I...I feel like something's stifling me, suffocating me, it's getting more intense the brighter the light becomes...!
As the light grew blindingly bright, the suffocating feeling over me unbearable, before my mind and senses abruptly blanked, everything going numb for an instant.
Suddenly, I sat up with a start, letting out a sharp gasp and-...wait, what?
I blinked a couple of times before looking around in bewilderment, finding myself in a strange, unfamiliar room.
Uh...where the hell am I?
I then looked down at myself, to see that I was seated in a bed. A nice, clean bed...I haven't been in a bed this clean in a good decade or so, what in the world is going on here?
And why does my body look...smaller?
I got out of bed and took a step, feeling a sense of sense of bewilderment. I don't feel weak, not in the slightest.
It doesn't hurt to breathe, and I don't feel like coughing. Actually, my entire body feels great, nothing's sore or aching.
I...I don't think I've ever felt this good. At least, not in a very, very long time.
I don't recognize these clothes I'm wearing, they certainly aren't mine. I lifted up the shirt, my eyes widening in surprise...all my scars are gone. That, uh, that can't possibly be normal.
Right?
I began walking around the room in confusion, trying to figure out what was going on, before I came to a stop in front of a mirror, my eyes widening in disbelief.
"What the-...what is this? That does look like me, but...younger, as if I'm a teenager again. Have I gone back in time? No, I've definitely never seen this room before, so it can't be that. Then, maybe...? Have I...have I been reincarnated?" I muttered to myself, as I struggled to wrap my head around this rather peculiar turn of events...