Prologue
"We are thrown into existence without a predetermined purpose, and must navigate the weight of our choices, and identity..."
"I shall still be aware of my agency even if I am paralyzed by it.."
The room. My room...
I love this room. There's so much to like here. I love my artwork. I live here. I mean, how could I dislike the sanctuary of my existence?
But isn't the entire universe the sanctuary of my existence...?
The walls so plain, yet so dense with memories. They're proof of everything I was.
Still, I shouldn't be here. This room, this bed, this whole scenario, it feels like a dream. Why am I here? I should be at university, in my dorm, studying for exams.
My parents… they can't be here. They never come to bring me back from university. They're too old, too busy enjoying their lives. And I would never ask them to.
So why am I here? In my childhood home?
Okay. Breathe...
I can't seem to stand up. I'm just lying here. I'm practically freaking out. I shouldn't just be lying in bed...
But I still am. I shouldn't be. I've awoken, and I've been trying to get up.
I feel stuck like I'm glued to this childhood bed.
I can't move. Is this sleep paralysis? Or am I dreaming?
I need to move.
But… wait. Why does my room look so much like the one I used to live in, yet at the same time, nothing like it? The drawer, the cupboard, the clothes on the floor, the art on the wall just silly doodles. The ceiling with fake neon stars. The computer desk...
It's familiar, yet the atmosphere is heavy. Dense. Fear-inducing. Like my room, but in a horror movie.
I need to stand up. I'm genuinely freaking out.
But I still can't...
"Aron, dinner is ready… come out now!"
Was that my mom's voice?
What…? I'm concerned now. My parents can't be here. I can't be here. Why would we be? We sold this house. This room shouldn't have any of this stuff. I gave most of it away...
I'm sweating. This is a nightmare. I need to wake up.
I look around, trying to whimper. I can't scream or speak. It seems I can only think. I'm just a bunch of racing thoughts...
I try to shake violently. The bed starts moving. There's hope. If I keep this up, I might actually be able to stand.
I just need to keep going...