My life sucked.
There was no poetic way to say it. No fancy words to make it sound cooler than it was. I was 24 years old, a food delivery driver with a bank account so dry it could be classified as a desert, living in a one-room apartment where the only thing growing was my collection of empty ramen cups and used tissues.
I wasn't always like this. Okay, maybe I was. But I used to have hope. That hope was named Ayaka, my longtime crush. She was beautiful, smart, and way out of my league. But the real tragedy? My best friend Shinji was dating her. That was like getting stabbed in the gut, then having the knife twisted just for fun.
"Ayaka used to laugh at me when I tried flirting," I muttered, taking another swig of beer. "Now she just calls me a creep."
My TV screen flickered, playing a scene from my latest… uh, research material. Some high-quality, emotionally compelling adult animation. Not that I had any choice. It wasn't like I had a real woman in my life.
"Man," I sighed, tipping my head back. "If only I had a way to—"
[Ding! Libido System Activated!]
The robotic voice made me jolt upright, nearly knocking over my beer. A glowing screen floated in front of me, displaying words that made absolutely no sense.
— Welcome, Kazuki Ryouma. Your potential has been recognized. Complete missions to evolve beyond your pathetic state.
Mission 1: Seduce a woman experiencing high sexual frustration. Reward: +10% attractiveness, +5% stamina. Failure: None. But stay a loser forever. —
I blinked. Then rubbed my eyes. Then blinked again.
"Okay," I said slowly. "Either I drank way too much, or I finally snapped."
The glowing screen didn't go away. In fact, it helpfully highlighted a name in bright red.
Fujiko Takasaka (35) – Next-Door Neighbor
I froze. Fujiko? My neighbor? The older woman who lived next door and always gave me annoyed looks when I left my garbage outside too long? The same Fujiko who was… well, kind of a MILF?
"Oh, this is insane," I muttered. But then again, wasn't my life already a joke? If this was some weird hallucination, might as well see how far it went.
Steeling myself, I stood up, smoothed my wrinkled shirt, and opened my door. Her apartment was right next to mine. My hand hovered over her doorbell.
"Alright, System," I whispered. "Let's see if you're real or just the result of my beer-fueled delusions."
I pressed the doorbell.
There was a pause. Then footsteps. Then the door opened.
Fujiko stood there, wearing a loose tank top and shorts, her dark hair a little messy like she'd just gotten out of bed. Her eyes met mine, and she frowned immediately.
"What do you want?"
My mind blanked. Oh crap. I didn't think this far ahead.
"Uh… hi?"
Silence.
She narrowed her eyes. "Did you wake me up just to say 'hi'?"
"No! No, I uh… I was just wondering if you… needed anything?"
Her frown deepened. "Do I look like I need anything from you?"
The System pinged.
[Warning: Target's mood is worsening! Deploy charm!]
I had charm?! Where the hell was that all my life?!
"I just thought," I said quickly, forcing a casual smile, "since you live alone, you might need a strong, reliable man to help with… things."
She snorted. "Then why are you here?"
Ouch. Critical hit.
But then I noticed something. Her posture was stiff. Her arms were crossed, but her fingers tapped against her elbow. The System highlighted her in red again, with a helpful note appearing.
Sexual frustration: High.
Huh. Interesting.
I straightened up, putting on my best 'not-a-loser' face. "Actually, Fujiko-san," I said smoothly, "I was hoping we could get to know each other better."
She raised an eyebrow. "Get to know me?"
"Yeah," I nodded. "You're always working, always so busy… don't you ever just want to relax? Maybe with a drink? Maybe with some… company?"
She stared at me. Obviously she thought I'm a huge creep. For a second, I thought she'd just slam the door in my face. But then—
She smirked.
"…You're an idiot," she said, shaking her head. "But you're a brave idiot."
[Ding! Progress +10%!]
Holy crap. This might actually work.