humor

What do you do when you're out at sea without a ship? Allen: “Steal one.” What do you do when there's no crew on board? Allen: “Dig them from others.” What do you do when you have people but no supplies? Allen: “Rob the Marines.” Treasure? Famous swords? Devil Fruits? Beautiful women? Allen: “Brothers, look! That transport ship up ahead was practically delivered from the heavens—it has everything we need!” Transmigrated into the world of One Piece with the monstrous combat talent and Hanma bloodline from the Baki universe, Allen refuses to play by anyone’s rules. He starts with nothing but his two fists and an unyielding will. In the East Blue, where the weak are prey and dreams are crushed daily, Allen begins his legend by toppling tyrants, poaching elite talents, and building his crew through sheer force and charisma. He steals the Black Cat Pirates’ ship and crew. He recruits the genius chef Sanji before the Straw Hat can. He shatters Arlong’s reign to claim Nami and her village’s future. With a black captain’s coat billowing like a demon’s shadow and a savage lion-skull Jolly Roger flying high, Allen declares war on the entire sea. “I don’t chase the One Piece for glory. I just want the biggest, most dazzling stage where my strength can bloom without limits.” Freedom. Power. Conquest. He will take them all—by stealing ships, stealing people, and stealing destiny itself. My name is Allen. I advocate for absolute freedom. And I will become the most willful, reckless, and unstoppable pirate this world has ever seen. The Demon Lion has set sail.

In 2069, the United States was moving toward a second frontier era, a second Manifest Destiny across the solar system. Then, one day, thanks to a strange alien signal, they discovered a hidden facility on Mars. The signal was transmitted through a device considered an ancient decoration but turned out to be a portal to another world. With a series of events, the United States sent one of its most elite teams to this world to investigate, Combat Fire Team-1, also known as Comanche, and discover why the people of Alagore opened a Bridge to their world. Comanche must explore the connections of this new world and the wonders discovered on Mars, confront the darkness known as the Unity in its global conquest, and above all, protect the US and the rest of Earth from this new threat. However, will they be able to discover the secrets of this war or fall victim to all that had come before?

I died like a dog in a Kaiju’s guts. Then a parasitic monster brought me back to life… and a psychotic yandere bought my streaming rights. Now my every breath, every fight, every drop of blood is broadcast live to one single viewer — her. She calls herself my sponsor. She calls me her favorite toy. And she’s willing to drop millions just to watch me suffer, grow stronger, and slowly lose control to the Kaiju growing inside my chest. The Defense Force wants me dead. The corporations want me as their new superstar. But the real monster? She’s already watching. Every time I push my sync rate higher, the parasite gets hungrier. Every time I try to run, she tightens the leash. This isn’t a second chance. This is a private show. And she paid top dollar for the rights to my life… and my body . Welcome to my stream. Try not to get addicted.

“You said you were worthless. But worthless things aren’t taken by anyone… Yet I’m taking you.” The boy narrowed his eyes. Renji smiled faintly. “So that means… you have worth now.” Fractured Gaze is a novel about broken souls, fading loyalties, and the quiet violence of choices that can’t be taken back. In the ruins of Old Empire, past tragedies hold power. And the rebellion begins — not with war horns, but with fractured people learning how to bleed together. There are no chosen ones here. No heroes. No prophecies. Only those who’ve been hurt... and those who decide what that pain is worth. If you're looking for a fast-paced power fantasy, this might not be your story. But if you’re drawn to action, found family, and the cost of fighting for something that may never love you back — welcome. All chapters are free to read. Written by me, occasionally assisted by AI tools for editing, phrasing, and clarity. Cover art generated with DALL·E by OpenAI.

Peter Parker is not a guy from another world who woke up in someone else's body and decided to play superhero with a cheat sheet. He is Peter Benjamin Parker — fifteen, Queens, New York, completely and entirely himself. He has always been himself. It's just that sometimes, in the back of his brain, there's an archive that shouldn't be there. Not memories, exactly. More like echoes. Fragments of a life he didn't live in this universe The genre conventions, the recurring tragedies, the cast of characters who are supposed to show up and what they're supposed to do when they get there. The problem is that this universe doesn't follow any blueprint he recognizes. This isn't 616. It's not the MCU. It's not any specific continuity from anything he half-remembers — it's a new creation, running on its own logic, diverging from canon in ways that catch him off-guard when he's already committed to a plan. His foreknowledge is real. It's also fragmented, unreliable, and occasionally catastrophically wrong. He can be surprised. He can miscalculate. He can almost die. more available at : [email protected]/goldengaruda

Kurt was your normal line cook until one day a vile squirrel attacks, and he finds himself face to face with a small fae, one that expects him to perform a dangerous task. With eyes of greed and opportunity, Kurt and his friend Sara set out with this young fae to create fabulous wealth. But enemies start coming from both sides of the gates, monsters from Terra and the clans from Earth. Can’t anything be simple? Why can’t a young man just become fabulously wealthy? The Mana Springs are the result of a Fae’s Mana Well and grant humans supernatural powers. A Well Guardian gaining powers beyond even that. Will these new powers be enough to protect the fledgling empire? A barren wasteland sprouts life for the first time in a century. Layla, the Fae Princess, intends to restart land, the river, once her well activates. A tall pillar stands out from the horizon, Kurt grips a spear, it all starts with this. What will he find there? A classic adventure of myths, monsters, swords, nations, and powers with a little romance to boot. —— This is a Hobby project for me, I intend to release two chapters a day for a long time. If you want a fun adventure, and meet a lot of friendly monsters, and so on. Come along. Expect: Humor Nation building Sword/Spear/Bow/fist fights Supernatural Power/Magic Monster friends and enemies Slice of Life moments Relatable Loveable Characters Tasteful Romance (if they behave) Some Violence, and the effects of it Don’t expect: Harems (or a sexy ones at least) Sex all the time (it does happen) Constant war/battles/action A system interface OP skills Modern Technology

Jiro was just scrolling through some Naruto clips before bed, unaware that every edit was being simultaneously transmitted across all timelines of the Shinobi World. Sarutobi Hiruzen couldn't bear to watch the replay of his own life. The Uchiha clan discovered their future of annihilation. Madara Uchiha fell silent as he watched "The Truth of the Infinite Tsukuyomi." Namikaze Minato trembled and wept as he read "The Life of Naruto." Naruto Uzumaki learned to form Rasengan ahead of time. Orochimaru, meanwhile, fell into deep contemplation while watching "The Complete Collection of Failed Immortality Experiments." When Jiro finally edited together his own imagined "Perfect Naruto Ending," the history of the entire Shinobi World veered irrevocably toward an unknown point of divergence.

Reiji, an ordinary high school student, was truck-kuned into a parallel timeline where the world had fallen into chaos. Dungeon gates appeared everywhere across the globe, and humans awakened mysterious powers. But that wasn't the worst of it. A strange phenomenon wiped out all the men in the world. Thinking he had hit the ultimate jackpot as the only male left on Earth, he quickly realizes that his nightmare has only just begun when he discovered that his cheerful female friend from his original world, Morikawa Hina, is no longer the same. She is now his obsessive, unhinged yandere girlfriend and worse... She was the one who brutally murdered the previous Reiji to keep him all to herself. As if that wasn't bad enough, Reiji awakens a ridiculous system – The Dominion Bond System (DBS). *** Ding! [Host has successfully awakened the Dominion Bond System.] [A system that allows the host to grow stronger through emotional bonds and intimate connections with many spouse ;) ] *** Ding! [Host must mate with his two female partner to gain 7 Silver Tier Mystery Gifts and bonus rewards!] [The longer and more satisfied your they are, the greater the rewards!] *** Trapped in a world with no men, a yandere girlfriend who would kill for love, and a system that forces him into intimate relationships just to survive. Reiji realizes one thing: This wasn't a fantasy he had expected when he was hit by Truck-kun. This was hell. And in this world, love might be more dangerous than death. *** WARNING!!! 18+ Contents Included (Skippable)

PvZ meets Solo Farming In The Tower. What to expect: - Mature and logical MC who refuse to be devoured by vengeance - A garden full of war crimes - Character driven story over fast-pace progression - Lovable cast of characters - Lore. Lots of lore regarding the dungeons and the civilizations that had fallen within it for you lorebrarians. - Update daily at 6pm CET -------------- “In a gold rush, the position of shovel vendors is reserved for the privileged.” That was a lesson Phong Tran had to learn the hard way. One year after the dungeon appeared, it had become a modern gold rush. People awakened classes, unlocked skills, and dove into the dungeon for its seemingly endless riches and resources. Phong, a level 1 Farmer with a dead EXP bar, naturally gravitated toward becoming a wandering vendor. While other people fought monsters, gained EXP, and became media heroes, he sold them socks, battery banks, and energy drinks. Phong existed in the space between glory and obscurity, until one day, a privileged bastard took everything from him. He was beaten half to death, and his aunt and uncle were “erased” for being inconvenient to those at the top. As if it had a cruel sense of humor, Phong received his first and only quest while lying in his sickbed: “Plant 10 potatoes.” No rewards. No promise of revenge. Just 10 potatoes sitting there, as if to mock his powerlessness. He took the quest. And now, he must conquer the dungeon with only 10 potatoes to his name.

The story of how Kitasan Black met her Trainer

I died like any good scholarship orphan— broke and mostly alone. Truck-kun didn't even slow down. Then I woke up. In a hospital bed that costs more than my old life was worth. In the body of Vincent Dorrington. A rich, handsome, disappointing second son of a tech empire. The doctors called it amnesia. I call it a miracle and a nightmare wrapped together. Vincent's family doesn't know I'm not him. His rivals expect a playboy they can push around. His father expects nothing at all. His girlfriend expects even less. Emilia Reynolds is only here because their families need each other. She tolerates Vincent at best. Dislikes him at worst. But when she looks at me now? There's something new in her eyes. And I don't know if that's a good thing. I'm just a dead orphan who got a second chance he never asked for. But if I'm going to live his life... I'm going to live it better than he ever did. ADDITIONAL TAGS: Smart Male Lead, Drama, Rich Heir, Slow Burn Romance, Family Drama, Second Chance, Character Growth, Wealthy Family.

**The Sixth Member of the Police Academy in *Detective Conan*** **[No female lead. Master of disguises. The male protagonist is a growth-type character who develops over time rather than becoming overpowered instantly.]** As one of the six members of the police academy group, **Sasajima Ritsu ** embarks on the “point of no return” by going undercover in the Black Organization. However, he never expected to gain **Gin’s** appreciation and even end up becoming close enough with **Vodka** to call each other brothers. Wait a second… I’m an undercover agent, right? Gin, snap out of it—stop always looking out for me! And wait—how did it come to this? My subordinates are undercover agents, and even my colleagues are undercover agents too? This novel is also known as **“Ritsu Sasajima’s Life of Multiple Identities”** and **“What Should I Do After Joining the Organization When My Number of Names Keeps Increasing?”** **P.S.** This story has **no romantic pairing (no CP)**. There are many foreshadowing elements, and the author will do their best to resolve them all!

A man gets bodyswapped into Hagrid right as Harry is being delivered to the Dursleys. The new Hagrid knows his canon, sizes up his situation fast, and decides things are going to go a little differently this time. Like, say, not leaving a one-year-old on a doorstep in November. What happens next? Chaos, mostly. Abandon all expectations of plot logic, canon compliance, and character sanity — this fic is pure chaos, proudly OOC, gleefully AU, and home to a Mary Sue of legendary scale. If you're still here — welcome aboard. If you want to support me and read some chapters earlier: patreon.com/Aetern1tas

Becoming a Clan Master was supposed to be the ultimate early retirement plan. The strategy was flawless: buy a heavily fortified mansion, recruit a party of hyper-competent, over-enthusiastic teenagers—an immovable armored tanker, a battle-obsessed swordsman, a light-fingered thief, a talented younger mage with an attitude, and a dedicated elf healer—and let them clear the dungeons while sitting back to collect the passive income. There is just one major problem: everyone around him is completely misinterpreting the situation. When he refuses to leave his comfortable bed, his clan members reverently assume he is meditating to recover his strength from a top-secret, high-level dungeon raid he cleared solo. When he funnels massive bribes to government officials to cover up his blatant tax evasion, they interpret it as anonymous donations for the city's slums, accidentally turning him into a beloved saint among the poor. And when he sends his party on simple chore missions just to get them out of his hair, they assume it’s a grueling, high-stakes training regimen designed to break their limits—to the point where they solemnly write their wills before leaving. Every attempt to avoid manual labor is documented as an act of unfathomable, high-level tactical genius. Now, his certification level is skyrocketing to the highest ranks, and the Adventurer Association is forcing him to take command of deadly, impossible missions meant only for legendary heroes. Surrounded by a stubbornly loyal party that refuses to leave him alone, commoners who sing his praises, and an Association that refuses to let him quit, he must figure out how to survive the most dangerous threats in the world without actually lifting a finger. #accidentalmastermind #adventurer #mana #aura #princess #ltgsr

[Dungeons & Monsters]+[Streaming]+[System]+[Cultivation]+[Multiple races]+[Multiple Dimensions]+[Overpowered MC] Five years ago, The Merge shattered everything. Earth was pulled into a vast network of dimensions, overrun by dungeons and monsters — and governed by a System that turned survival into spectacle. Hunters could stream their runs to a cosmic audience, trading clout for resources, and those who awakened rose to power. Everyone else learned to endure. Reyansh endured. After losing his father to a dungeon, he's been holding his family together ever since — working multiple jobs at fifteen to support his sick mother and younger sister, all while chasing a dream that was slipping with every passing moment. He failed to awaken at twelve, he kept going anyway. 3 years later, he scrapes together enough to buy an Awakening Potion — And this time, it works. But something else wakes up alongside him. [Cosmic Patron System Initialized] A system no one else can see. While every hunter can stream their hunts, Reyansh's system is different — it connects him to beings across every dimension from the very start, and it promises something no ordinary system offers: 100× rewards on everything he earns, among other things he has yet to discover. The catch? He has to perform for it. Every dungeon run becomes a broadcast, every fight, a show. As his channel grows, powerful and mysterious patrons begin sending gifts, abilities, and opportunities his way. But the bigger his audience gets, the more dangerous the eyes in it become. Reyansh wanted strength enough to protect his family and himself but he may have gotten something more. Because in this universe where strength is everything — being watched might be the most dangerous power of all. [Milestones:] (Renewable every week) 100 Powerstones = 1 Bonus Chapter 200 Powerstones = 3 Bonus Chapter 50 Golden tickets = 1 Bonus Chapter 100 Golden tickets = 3 Bonus Chapter Extra Bonus Chapters (at least +2) depends on type of gifts donated (Massage Chair and above).

In highschool dxd as a futa having the best parts of both genders thanks to a hermaphrodite goddess and her powers as a sacred gear, what could go wrong

Saving the girl cop by chance, the Little Daoist descending from the mountain begins his career as a bodyguard. He fights monsters, occasionally steps on wealthy and handsome men, and enjoys an endless life of fun!

A project manager's soul finds a new home in the rough-hewn body of a local Schitt's Creek handyman, trading corporate spreadsheets for a wrench and a fractured reflection. Transmigrated into a town defined by its eccentricities and the fallen Rose family, he discovers he is a Community Growth Catalyst—a biological anomaly capable of hyper-accelerated skill acquisition and the creation of subconscious learning networks. Every pipe he fixes and every conversation he navigates feeds a supernatural "sticky" memory that allows him to master any life skill in weeks rather than years. In a place where the motel sign is broken and the people are even more so, he isn't just fixing buildings; he's quietly upgrading the human potential of every person he touches. It turns out that a little bit of authentic connection and a lot of accelerated mastery can turn a dead-end town into an empire of self-improvement.

[—Would you rather—] 1: Upgrade your affinity to the SSS-rank Thunder Dragon's lightning affinity. 2: Replace your affinity with the SSS-rank Leviathan's water affinity. In a world where your affinity decides practically everything, Theo only awakened a D-rank lightning affinity. Just as he had prepared himself to live a normal life as a low-rank hunter, a nameless system appeared and gave him two choices. Follow along his journey as he faces challenges and gains overpowered abilities from his system.

After the Justice League fails to prevent their world's annihilation by anti-matter, Billy Batson, the hero Shazam, makes a desperate leap and finds himself stranded in a foreign universe.