"Holy shit! They actually released her!!!"
The sound of rustling Dorito wrappers filled the small room as Nick jumped in his bed–the most exercise he had gotten all week.
But could you blame him? His favorite gacha game had teased the addition of everyone's favorite waifu–Juliana.
Why the hell would he get off his bed and do 5 push-ups when he could spend his time refreshing Gachette (A website with forums for pretty much every gacha)?!
Especially when it turned out his efforts were rewarded. Laying in bed was a Herculean effort, and it was finally time to be rewarded!
"C'mon, C'mon, C'mon!" Nick uttered under his breath, cursing the slow loading screen of Aether Babes–the new hit gacha game that surpassed even the likes of Genshin Impact and Zenless Zone Zero.
Stupid slow motherfucker load!!!
Nick swore under his breath as the loading screen taunted him. Recently, they added a new one with one of the fan-favorite waifus–Hesta–dancing amongst the stars. Usually, it was cute.
Not when he had the best waifu to pull.
"Load, dammit!!! I'm trying to get the first screenshot here!"
Nick became the ultimate force of efficiency, imagining his victory at the same time as he pulled out the almighty credit card.
He could already see the disgruntled faces of PussySlayer69 and NoobSlayer420. All he had to do was be the first to pull Juliana!!!
For any fan favorite, that was a highly coveted achievement. Aether Babes was one of the first gacha to introduce a pull leaderboard system, which basically listed the first 10 accounts to pull a character.
There were people weird enough (like Nick) to spend big amounts of money to own the account that first pulled their favorite character. He really didn't want it to come to that, but this damn loading screen!
He began tapping the screen furiously, each one more aggressive than the last. Hesta continued dancing amongst the stars, which were finally becoming darker.
"Finally!" Nick screamed at the top of his lungs, and then, as if she finally feared him, Hesta ran away into the game world, bringing Nick to the Divine Lounge.
Without even waiting for the game to finish its start-up animations, Nick was already tapping the gacha shop.
'C'mon, C'mon!'
His screen buffered for a second before loading the shop. "Of course, these fuckers are overloading the server. I'm going to get Juliana anyway!"
Nick grinned like a maniac as he took note of how many gems he had saved–just enough for 10 whole 10 pulls.
There was a possibility he'd have to buy more, but that wasn't on his mind at that moment.
'Pull! Pull! C'mon!'
The gacha addict cackled as the shop animation began.
His cackle mixed with the sound of his fingers destroying his phone in an attempt to skip the animation.
Usually, he found his character entering the Tower of Eternity and leaving with a dime enticing, but not today. Every step his character took was another second someone else could pull Juliana!!
"Skip! Skip! Get my waifu!!!"
Finally, the animation skipped, and a buffer later...
"FUCK!!!" Nick screamed loud enough to cause a magnitude 10 earthquake.
Stupid fucking A-Rank piece of shit unit!!!
Fuck Mercury!!!
"C'mon, C'mon, next one, NEXT ONE!!!"
Spit flew onto his phone due to Nick's outrageous screaming. But that didn't matter because why the hell was his internet so slow right now?
Doesn't Xfenetee know he's trying to pull the most awaited unit ever?!!
The instant the summon button loaded again Nick was already hammering his finger into his phone.
'Let's go let's go!!!'
Skipped animation and...
"A fucking B-Rank? Who the hell even uses Lisanna? She's damned useless!!!"
Next pull: B-Rank.
A-Rank.
B-Rank.
The phone is screaming "Save me!!!"
S-Rank.
"Fuck you!!!" Nick screamed, not satisfied whatsoever by this stroke of 'luck.'
A-Rank.
A-Rank.
B-Rank.
It's the last pull before spending money...
Nick sat for just a second in disbelief before he slammed his finger on the summon button.
A skipped animation and then...
JULIANA!!!
"OH SHIT I PULLED HER FIRST!!!" He exclaimed, his loud voice sure to get him kicked out of the apartment.
"I'm gonna be first! I'm gonna be firrrstt!!" Nick paraded around his room as he waited for the notification that he was the first to pull Juliana.
People pounded on the walls and ceiling of his apartment but he ignored the commotion as the notification appeared on his screen.
He was the second to pull her!!!
Second?
Disbelief filled his eyes as he looked at the screen.
[1st: NoobSlayer420 obtained Juliana 13 seconds after release]
[2nd: GetFcknOwnedBich!!! obtained Juliana 13.000000000000000001 seconds after release]
"WHAT!!!" Nick screamed, his earlier excitement all but gone.
He- he really failed to be the first to pull her? Something he had been planning ever since she was added? That's...
Impossible!!!
Grief and despair struck Nick like a truck-kun, causing his heart to tighten and kill him with a heart attack.
...
Instead of the shadowy depths of hell, he had always imagined death to be. Instead, Nick was met by Light. He quickly noted his death.
And wanted to do nothing more than defy it.
He couldn't die!!!
J- Juliana, the true Juliana, is supposed to be his!
"Hmm... maybe this is the true Progenitor of Destruction."
Progenitor?
The fluck was that?!
Blinding lights receded as a notification popped up inside his head– one that looked eerily similar to system screens in anime.
[Assimilation into the game world complete]
[Title acquired: King of the Cosmos]
King of the...
Like the MC of Aether Babes?
'Holy shet...'
"What the heck is this?!" Nick screamed as he hit the ground. He really couldn't swear here?
[The game world has an auto-censoring feature. If you continue attempting to swear, I will erase you]
"Oh really, deckhead? You fckn think I don't know how to bypass your Pu$$y censorship? I've been playing games all my life Mo'fucker'" Nick smiled confidently at his sass.
And then a sudden pain like someone punched him in the balls a million times forced him to the ground.
"Ah!!! S-sorry!!! Uncle!!"
Just as fast as the system created pain, it ended it. Leaving Nick to look around his new surroundings.
Nick found himself in a room he knew all too well.
The Divine Lounge—a Nexus of the worlds in Aether Babes, the MC's main base and home to all of his Valkyries like Juliana.
Except this one was entirely empty... which also meant nobody was here to stop his mischief.
Nick turned to a certain throne he had always fantasized about sitting in. The MC of Aether Babes had to conquer 5 whole worlds before he could sit in it.
'Well, I've technically already done that. And besides, I don't see Seuz anywhere to stop me.'
In fact, not even any of the gods were here.
Nick brushed off the fluorescent golden throne before sitting on it.
Once he did, he got a clear good look at the skies. Hesta wasn't dancing amongst them—
Because all the stars were consumed by darkness.