Have you ever thought of living beyond what is considered normal for human beings? Living as far as the end of civilization. Living till there is no life left. Living till there is nothing left to support the living. Living even after dying. Living even after being killed. Living for eternity. In simple words, have you ever thought of immortality? No, let me change the question a bit. Have you ever thought of being immortal?
There's no way for me to get the answers that you are saying in your head - as sad as that is - but let me tell you about me.
I have, or rather, had, thought of being immortal at some point in life. Though when exactly was that, I don't quite remember. It has been far too long after all. And having my wish of immortality granted, I can tell you one thing - it's not as great as people make it out to be.
Getting to live a long life, getting to experience a lot of new things, and getting to do everything you ever wanted without worrying about dying before achieving everything - this all sounds great. But - what after that? After having done everything you ever wanted and accomplishing what you set out to- what comes after that? You stop feeling joy from the little things around you. Nothing seems to interest you or fascinate you. Everything in the world is something you have already experienced. The world moves on while you are stuck. You have to continue living as you watch the people you care for dying one by one, leaving you behind all alone. All you can do is cry and suffer alone. After some time, even the tears don't come out. You then start to wonder - are you really human? The answer is obvious from the start but you come to ask that question a tad too late. Since the moment you become immortal, you are no longer human. Even though you retain some aspects of humanity over the years, you are still not human. In my case, I really wasn't a human. Not just because I had lost some aspect of my humanity but because I was, literally, not a human. I was - I am - a vampire.
You heard it right. I am a vampire. A blood-sucking vampire.
Although I say I am a vampire, there are a few things I want to clear up beforehand.
Different from what you read in novels and watch in movies, I am not intolerant to the sun. Being exposed to the sun doesn't make me die or burn into ashes to be carried away by the wind. Neither am I negatively affected by the likes of garlic and ginger or any other food materials that you think that is harmful to vampires. I am not even affected by holy water. Things like holy water don't exist and didn't exist back when I was still a human. And yeah, we don't die when our heart is pierced by a stake or our head is lopped off our body (I am telling this from personal experience). So, because of all these reasons, despite being a vampire, I have continued to live like a normal human being without many problems.
You might have seen me using the word 'we' and 'vampires' a lot throughout reading this, and here is another thing I want to clarify.
When I use plural nouns or pronouns to refer to vampires, I don't mean that there are a lot of us and we have some sort of secret society and live following the vampiric code of conduct. The reason I use plural terminologies is that, as far as I know, there are two vampires in existence (and by the rules of grammar, I am to use plural terminologies if the number exceeds more than one). One is me and the other is the one who turned me into a vampire.
Now you may be wondering who the person was that turned me into a vampire.
Same here.
I am still wondering who the hell she is. I met her once when I didn't want to die and cried for help for someone to save me from my imminent death. I didn't want to die back then.
Fortunately, or rather, unfortunately, a stunningly beautiful woman heard my cry of plea and decided to save me. You might have guessed by now how she saved me. Yes, by turning me into a vampire. After that, she contacted me now and then for about a year and taught me all about being a vampire. I had thought of her as my savior but one day she suddenly vanished, just as suddenly as she had come to save me. Just before disappearing, she did leave some words for me.
"If you ever so desire then come, find me, and kill me. Maybe then you will have your wish granted."
I didn't know what those words meant and what she meant by killing her back then but now I do and now I want to kill her so that I can die.
But it is not that easy.
For one, for the past hundred or so years, I haven't been able to find her at all. I wonder where she is or how she is living. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't even manage to find traces of her.
And the other reason is the existence of a certain girl. As long as she is around, I can't die, even if I want to. No, with her around, I am not even allowed to even want to die.
Yeah, I know this is all confusing but I will tell you about this girl along the way as I recount the bizarre tales of my encounters with bizarre existences like me - existences that are not normal while I wait for the whimsical vampire to appear before me once again.
And by the way, let me apologize to you beforehand about something.
"I am sorry."
I won't tell you now but I promise you that I will eventually tell you about it. Everything about it.
But, for now, just keep this somewhere in the corner of your mind, that I have lied to you all.