Hiroto Takahashi died like a true loser.
One moment he was sprinting through the pouring rain in Tokyo, cursing his overtime shift, the next a truck horn blared and everything went black.
When he regained consciousness, he was floating in an endless white void. A cold, mechanical voice spoke.
[Welcome, Hiroto Takahashi. Due to your impressive dedication to harem light novels, you have been granted the Legendary Path: Harem Lord Road.]
Hiroto's eyes lit up with pure joy.
"Harem Lord Road?! Yes! Finally! After 25 years of suffering and endless fantasies — this is my moment! Beautiful elves, beastkin girls, seductive mages… all of them will be mine! I'm going to build the ultimate harem!"
He was already imagining soft bodies, sweet voices calling him "Master", and him being firmly on top.
The System continued flatly.
[Warning: In this realm, true males are extremely rare.]
Hiroto grinned wider. "Obviously! I'm the special one! They'll all—"
[All females in this world are Futanari.]
Hiroto froze.
"…What?"
The System explained in its usual flat tone:
[Long ago, the Goddess Lunara granted the 'Duality Blessing' to all her children. Every woman — elf, human, beastkin, dwarf — received both the gift of life and the gift of seed. They became both mother and father. Stronger. More complete. Males grew fewer over the centuries. Now, a true male like you is considered both a sacred treasure… and a very tempting prize.]
Hiroto's soul slowly left his body.
"All of them…? Even the cute fluffy catgirls…? Even the elegant elf princesses…? My perfect soft harem… they all have dicks?!"
He clutched his head, voice cracking with disbelief and despair.
"This is a scam! I died a virgin for this?! I wanted to be the harem lord, not wonder who's going to top who every night! Goddess Lunara decided to give every woman both breasts and a cock so they wouldn't feel lonely?! System, you sadistic piece of code!"
The System replied without emotion.
[Would you like to abandon the Harem Lord Road?]
"Abandon?! Never!" Hiroto shouted, half laughing, half crying. "I'll adapt… somehow. Maybe some of them are gentle. Maybe I can still be on top… sometimes. This is versatility, right? Right?!"
He paused, then muttered bitterly.
"…I'm already coping so hard it hurts."
[Transfer commencing. Good luck, Harem Lord Candidate.]
The void shattered. Hiroto crashed into soft grass.
When he looked up, his breath caught.
A tall, silver-haired elf knight stood over him.
She was stunning. Long silky silver hair cascading down her back like liquid moonlight. Sharp emerald eyes, elegant pointed ears, and a powerful yet curvaceous body hugged tightly by polished plate armor. Her full breasts strained noticeably against the metal with each breath.
Holy shit… she's perfect. Those breasts are… exactly my type—
His eyes drifted lower on their own.
Beneath the lower plates of her armor, there was a clear, firm bulge pressing outward. As she shifted her weight, it moved slightly.
Hiroto's brain blue-screened.
No. No no no. That's not a codpiece. It's actually… there.
And it looks bigger than mine has ever been on its best day. Goddess Lunara, did you have to make them all better equipped than the protagonist?!
His face turned bright red. He tried to look away, but his gaze kept betraying him like a traitor.
Sylvara noticed immediately. A slow, amused smirk spread across her lips.
"A real male…" she purred, voice smooth and teasing. "How rare. And how cute. Your eyes are very honest, little human."
She took one step closer, towering over him.
"Don't worry," she whispered, voice dropping. "I don't bite on the first meeting… much. Unless you keep staring like that."
Hiroto's mouth opened and closed uselessly, his mind a storm of panic and denial.
Suddenly, a low, menacing growl echoed from the nearby trees. Multiple shadows moved between the trunks.
Sylvara's smirk vanished. She drew her longsword in one fluid motion.
"Looks like the welcome party has arrived," she said, eyes narrowing. "Stay behind me if you want to live, little male."
She glanced back at him with a dangerous smile.
"And try not to stare too much while I fight… it might make things harder for both of us."
Hiroto felt his soul trying to escape his body for the third time that day.
Goddess Lunara… if you're watching, I hate you right now.