"What? You did what?"
I could tell a lot of things were running through Ella's mind at the same time. Her eyes were wide, like she was trying to decide if I was joking or serious.
"Wait… I thought you said you didn't like when he followed you," she added, this time with a small teasing smile.
I looked at her for a second, then laughed lightly.
"What can I say?" I shrugged. "You never know."
She stared at me like that answer didn't make sense, then slowly shook her head.
"You're confusing," she said.
"Maybe," I replied, sitting back on the bed.
There was a short silence, but it didn't feel heavy this time. Ella leaned back too, like she was expecting more.
"So…" she said slowly, dragging the word. "How did it even happen?"
I paused.
That question sat differently.
I didn't answer immediately.
Because even I wasn't sure how to explain it without overthinking it.
"It just… happened," I said finally.
Ella narrowed her eyes. "That's not an answer."
I smiled a little, but didn't say anything else.
She sighed dramatically and bit into the biscuit.
"Go on spill the tea," she screamed
I leaned back, staring at the ceiling for a second.
My life was starting to feel like too much and not enough at the same time.
And for some reason… I didn't know where Jay fit into it yet.
Or if he even did.
"You've really missed a lot though," I said.
Ella raised a brow immediately. "Start talking."
I shook my head, still smiling. "I'm pretty sure you could've strangled me to get answers if I didn't say anything."
"Don't test me," she replied, laughing
I sighed and leaned back.
"Okay fine… that night after you and I had issues, I still came to school."
Ella went quiet for a second, listening properly now.
"I wasn't even okay," I continued. "Like I was just walking around with everything in my head. Then I saw him… Jay."
Ella tilted her head slightly. "Jay?"
"Yeah," I nodded. "We just… started talking. I don't even know how it happened. I was annoyed, I was hurt, and he was just there."
She didn't interrupt.
"So we kept seeing each other in school," I added. "It wasn't anything serious at first. Just random conversations… then it became more than that."
I paused a bit, then shrugged.
"And that's how it started."
Ella stared at me like she was still processing everything.
"…You're really something," she finally said.
I laughed softly. "I know."
"What is he to you now?" Ella asked, but this time she wasn't smiling at all.
I paused.
That question just sat there.
"I don't know," I said finally.
Ella raised a brow slightly. "You don't know?"
I shrugged. "It's not that deep. It just… happened, I don't even know if I'm anything to him.
"That's exactly what makes it deep," she said immediately.
I sighed and leaned back a bit. "I'm not trying to make it anything yet."
Ella went quiet for a second, watching me.
"So what are you doing then?" she asked, softer now.
I didn't answer right away.
Because even I didn't know how to explain it without sounding confused.
"I don't want to rush into anything," I said slowly. "I just… I'm still figuring it out."
Ella tilted her head like she was studying me.
"You always figuring things out… but you never actually tell anyone what you're feeling."
I looked away.
That one landed a bit too close.
"I'm not trying to confuse anyone," I muttered.
Ella sighed, but she softened again. "You're not confusing me. You're just… you."
I let out a small breath.
"Yeah," I said quietly. "I guess."
For a moment, neither of us spoke.
Then Ella leaned back and broke it slightly.
"Just don't disappear inside your head again, Anna."
I gave a small nod.
But I didn't answer.
Because honestly… I wasn't even sure I was fully out of it yet. If I actually start saying my feelings out loud, no one would understand.