The Nexus Mall Summer Matsuri was in full swing. The escalators were draped in silk banners, and the "Food Court" had been replaced by a row of stalls serving everything from Ichiraku Ramen to those weird blue dumplings from That Time I Got Reincarnated as a Slime.
Deadpool was strutting through the crowd, his red-and-black floral yukata fluttering in the artificial breeze. He was wearing a Hollow Mask (Bleach) on the side of his head and carrying a giant stick of chocolate-covered bananas.
"Look at this place, Soum!" Deadpool shouted, dodging a group of running Uchiha kids. "It's beautiful! It's vibrant! It's the perfect place for some low-stakes character development before the next world-ending threat! I haven't felt this relaxed since I found out they were making another Logan movie!"
The Game of Champions
Deadpool stopped in front of a booth labeled: "THE FLASHY STRENGTH TEST: ARE YOU A GOD OR A MONGREL?"
The booth was run by Tengen Uzui (Demon Slayer), who was wearing a yukata that was somehow even louder than Deadpool's. He was covered in glitter and strike-poses every three seconds.
"Step up, un-flashy commoners!" Tengen bellowed. "Hit the pad with this hammer! If you ring the bell, you win a prize so flamboyant it'll make your ancestors weep with joy!"
"I'll give it a swing, you oversized Mother Fu***!" Deadpool yelled, stepping up and grabbing the massive wooden mallet. "I've got the strength of a guy who regenerates limbs and the spite of a Twitter user! Watch me work!"
A Wild Boar Appears
Before Deadpool could swing, a blur of fur and muscle slammed into him, sending him flying into a stand selling Cursed Finger popsicles.
"MOVE ASIDE, WEAKLING! THE KING OF THE MOUNTAIN HAS ARRIVED!"
Inosuke Hashibira (Demon Slayer) stood there, wearing his boar mask and no shirt (because a yukata couldn't contain his ego). He was vibrating with pure, unadulterated aggression.
"Hey! You pig-headed Bi**h!" Deadpool screamed, crawling out of the popsicle wreckage. "That was a designer yukata! Soum, did you see that?! This bacon-flavored reject just committed a fashion crime!"
Inosuke snorted, steam literally shooting out of his snout. "I don't care about your clothes! I want the prize! I want to prove I am the strongest in this shiny cave!"
The Shonen Escalation
"Oh, you want a piece of the Pool?" Deadpool dropped the chocolate bananas and grabbed a second mallet. "Let's go, Porky! First one to ring the bell wins. The loser has to go tell Saitama that his bald head looks like a giant Takoyaki ball!"
"DEAL!" Inosuke roared.
Swing 1: Inosuke hit the pad so hard the entire mall shook. The metal ball shot up and cracked the bell. Tengen cheered, "FLASHY!"
Swing 2: Deadpool, not to be outdone, pulled a mini-nuke out of his fanny pack and taped it to the head of his mallet. "Science, Bi**h!"
BOOM.
The explosion didn't just ring the bell; it sent the bell through the ceiling, through three floors of retail space, and into the Starbucks on the top floor.
The Prize of Doom
"WINNER!" Tengen yelled, pointing at Deadpool (mostly because he liked the explosion). "As the most flamboyant participant, you win the legendary Mystery Box of the Ancients!"
Tengen handed Deadpool a small, pulsing purple box wrapped in golden chains.
Deadpool grinned, his mask eyes widening. "Finally! Some loot! What's in it, Soum? Is it a new katana? Is it the secret to beating the 'No-Girlfriend' curse? Is it—"
Deadpool snapped the chains and popped the lid.
A small, yellow, triangular creature with one eye and a top hat floated out.
"Greetings, meat-puppets!" the creature chirped in a static-filled voice. "Who's ready to make a deal?!"
Deadpool's jaw dropped. "Wait... Bill Cipher?! From Gravity Falls?! What the Mother Fu*** are you doing in a Japanese anime mall?!"
"The multiverse is a dumpster fire, Kid! I'm just here for the scenery!" Bill laughed, turning the gravity upside down for everyone within fifty feet.