Deadpool stared at the yellow mouse. The yellow mouse stared at Deadpool. The air smelled like static electricity and pixelated dreams.
"Pika?" the mouse chirped, tilting its head.
"Listen here, you adorable little Mother Fu*," Deadpool hissed, pointing a finger at the Pikachu's nose. "I just fell through a hole in the sky because a bald man sneezed too hard. My favorite yukata is ruined, my lungs are full of smoke, and I'm pretty sure I have a concussion. If you shock me, I will turn you into a set of fuzzy yellow mittens. Got it?!"
The Pikachu's cheeks sparkled.
ZAP.
Deadpool's skeleton flickered blue. He collapsed into the grass, smoke rising from his mask. "Okay... fair point. You've got the range. tum, remind me to buy some Ground-type insurance."
The Great Gotei-Poke-Migration
A few yards away, Aizen stood up, brushing the dirt off his robes. His hairpiece (revealed in the last chapter to be a fraud) was slightly askew, making him look like a very stressed-out middle manager.
"This world... it lacks spiritual structure," Aizen muttered, looking at a nearby Pidgey. "The souls here are contained in small, red-and-white spheres? How primitive. I shall reshape this reality until every Charizard acknowledges me as their master."
"Oh, shut the f*** up, Aizen!" Deadpool yelled, wobbling to his feet. "You're just mad because there isn't a hair salon for five miles! Look at you! You're one breeze away from looking like a hairless cat! You vain Bih!"
The Lost Swordsman of Paldea
Suddenly, the bushes rustled. Zoro stepped out, looking absolutely exhausted. He was holding three swords and a very confused Psyduck.
"Where is the Poke-Center?!" Zoro demanded, ignoring the fact that he was walking in circles. "I've been through six forests, a desert, and I think I accidentally crossed the border into a different game! This duck won't stop holding its head and screaming! It's like traveling with a hungover version of Sanji!"
"Zoro, you idiot!" Deadpool laughed. "You're in the tall grass! You're supposed to fight the monsters, not kidnap them! Put the duck down before it explodes!"
The Professor's Arrival
"Hello there!" a boisterous voice boomed.
Professor Oak stepped out from behind a tree, holding a clipboard and looking way too happy for a man whose world was being invaded by a mercenary and a soul-reaper.
"I see you've met our local wildlife! I'm Professor Oak! Are you a boy? Or are you a girl? Or are you a red-and-black mistake of nature?!"
"I'm a 'None of the Above,' you senile Mother Fu*!" Deadpool yelled. "Now give me some of those balls! I need to catch that slick-haired Bi**h Aizen and see if he fits in a PC box!"
"Certainly!" Oak smiled, handing Deadpool a Master Ball he'd found in his junk drawer. "Use this wisely! It has a 100% success rate on anything that isn't a plot-relevant legendary!"
Deadpool turned to Aizen with a predatory grin. "Oh, Aizen-chan~... Daddy's got a new home for you. It's small, it's cramped, and there's no room for hairspray!"