Sukuna stood there, his four eyes twitching in a rhythm that screamed, "I'm about to murder everyone in this zip code." He raised his hand, the air shimmering with the promise of a thousand invisible blades.
"You think a coupon and a bald head are enough to defy me?" Sukuna hissed, his voice echoing through the Malevolent Valet. "I am the King of—"
"I don't give a flying f*** who you are," Deadpool interrupted, leaning out of the AE86 window and checking his watch. "The grocery store closes in three minutes, and this Bih-ass domain is blocking the only exit! My boy Saitama here just wants his eggs, and I just want to stop smelling like exhaust fumes! So wrap it up, you tattooed Mother Fu*!"
The Eviction Notice
Saitama didn't wait for a reply. He looked at the "Serious Eggs" in his bag. One of them had a tiny crack.
The temperature in the garage dropped forty degrees.
"You cracked them," Saitama said softly.
"I did more than—" Sukuna began.
"Serious Series..." Saitama's fist tightened. "...Serious Eviction."
Saitama didn't even aim for Sukuna. He punched the concept of the basement. The shockwave didn't just break the domain; it folded the space-time of the parking garage like a cheap lawn chair. Sukuna was launched through fourteen floors of reinforced concrete, screaming something about "the golden age of sorcery" before disappearing into the stratosphere.
BOOM.
The Fresh Start: The Nexus Mall Summer Matsuri
The dust settled instantly, replaced by the smell of... takoyaki and cotton candy?
Because Saitama's punch was so "Serious," it accidentally triggered a reality-warp. The basement was gone. The mall was no longer a retail hellscape. The sun was setting outside, and the entire interior of the Nexus Mall had been transformed into a Traditional Japanese Summer Festival.
Lanterns hung from the escalators. The food court was now a line of wooden stalls. Everyone was suddenly wearing yukatas—even Deadpool, who looked ridiculous in a red-and-black floral kimono with his katanas still strapped to his back.
"Holy mother of fanservice!" Deadpool shouted, looking around. "Soum, look at this! We've transitioned from 'Minimum Wage' to the 'Festival Arc'! This is where the budget goes to die, but the vibes are immaculate!"
The New Roster
The mall was packed with new faces.
Tanjiro and Nezuko (Demon Slayer) were trying to win a goldfish at a booth run by Kisame (Naruto), who looked very offended by the game.
Kaguya Shinomiya and Miyuki Shirogane (Love is War) were standing five feet apart, both blushing furiously because they accidentally touched fingers while buying a candied apple.
Luffy (One Piece) was currently trying to eat an entire yakisoba stall, while the cook, Tonio Trussardi (JoJo's Bizarre Adventure), was happily feeding him "healing" noodles.
"Listen up, you beautiful Bi**hes!" Deadpool stood on top of a giant taiko drum. "The garage is closed! The battle is over! We are now in the Nexus Mall Summer Matsuri! There will be no fighting, only eating, awkward romantic tension, and probably a massive fireworks display that someone will try to weaponize!"
Nanami walked by, looking significantly less stressed. He was wearing a simple yukata and holding a fan. "The audit is over. The debt is forgiven. Just... don't blow up the mall for at least three hours. I'm on my break."
"No promises, Mother Fu***!" Deadpool yelled, waving a sparkler.