"Are you serious right now?!" Deadpool screamed, throwing his useless Segway handles at a floating barrier. "I finally get a ride with decent gas mileage and you slice it up like a Thanksgiving turkey? You four-eyed, tattooed Bih! Do you have any idea how hard it is to get a Segway on a minimum wage salary?!"
Anya Forger covered her ears. (Thinking: Red man is saying the 'No-No Words'. Father would give him a timeout. But... it's also kind of cool.)
"Silence, pest," Sukuna spat, sitting atop his throne of scrapped SUVs. "In this domain, there is only one rule: You park where I tell you, or you become the pavement. Now, valet my 2024 invisible ghost-horse or die."
The Drift God Appears
"HE'S GOING TO DO IT!" Speedwagon shrieked from behind a concrete pillar. "Sukuna is going to dismantle the very concept of a security deposit! Look at the murderous intent! Even the fire sprinklers are sweating!"
"Oh, shut up, Speedie!" Deadpool yelled, reaching into his fanny pack and pulling out a walkie-talkie. "I'm calling in a ringer. Yo, Soum, watch this! We're about to shift this story into sixth gear!"
Suddenly, the screech of tires echoed through the garage. A white Toyota AE86 with "Fujiwara Tofu Shop" written on the side drifted around a corner, sliding perfectly through a gap in Sukuna's barriers.
The driver, Takumi Fujiwara, looked out the window with a bored expression, holding a cup of water in the cup holder. "Is this the valet line? I have a delivery for a 'Mr. Pool'."
The Mother Fu*** Maneuver
"Takumi! My man!" Deadpool cheered, hopping into the passenger seat and pulling Anya in with him. "Move over, Tofu Boy! Daddy's got a Domain to break!"
Deadpool grabbed the steering wheel, kicked the car into gear, and floored it. The AE86 roared to life, dodging Sukuna's "Dismantle" slashes by millimeters.
"Hey, Sukuna!" Deadpool leaned out the window, flipping the King of Curses a double-bird. "You think you're the king of this garage? You're just a glorified Mother Fu* with too much eyeliner! Catch us if you can, you over-hyped sushi-chef!"
Sukuna's face contorted with rage. "You dare... in my own domain..."
He launched a flurry of slashes, but the AE86 was dancing. Every time a slash came close, the car glitched—thanks to Deadpool's "Plot Hole" influence—turning the slashes into harmless confetti.
The Team Rocket Intervention
Team Rocket, still trapped in their 5x5 parking square, decided to help.
"If we can't be rich, nobody can!" Jessie screamed. "Meowth, use Pay Day!"
Meowth began vomiting gold coins across the floor. "Here's your tip, ya four-eyed freak!"
The coins distracted Sukuna for exactly one second—just enough time for Deadpool to drive the AE86 up a ramp made of Tokyo Manji Gang motorcycles and launch the car directly at Sukuna's throne.
"COMING THROUGH, YOU BIH!" Deadpool roared.
The Serious Arrival
Just as the car was about to collide with Sukuna, the garage door at the top of the ramp exploded.
Saitama walked in, carrying a grocery bag and looking incredibly annoyed. He walked right past the drifting car, right past the flying slashes, and stood in front of Sukuna.
"Hey," Saitama said, his voice flat. "I heard the 'Serious Eggs' were down here. Also, you're blocking the exit. I have a 2-for-1 coupon for soy sauce that expires in ten minutes."
Sukuna stared at the bald man. "A human? Interrupting my—"
"I don't care about your 'Domain Valet' thing," Saitama interrupted, raising a fist. "Move the cars. I need to get to the checkout line."
Deadpool slammed the brakes, the AE86 skidding to a halt right next to Saitama. "Tell him, Cueball! This Mother Fu* thinks he owns the place just because he's got extra eyes!"