Deadpool was thriving. He adjusted his aviator sunglasses, took a loud sip from a blue raspberry slushie, and patted the tactical walkie-talkie clipped to his neon-yellow "MALL SECURITY" polo shirt.
He was currently patrolling the second-floor promenade on his Segway, moving at a blistering top speed of 12 miles per hour.
"This is exactly where I belong, Soum," Deadpool whispered to the camera, leaning against the Segway handles. "I am the law. I am the shield that guards the realms of the Auntie Anne's Pretzels. If anyone tries to steal a keychain from Hot Topic today, they are getting the tactical pepper spray."
Suddenly, the anti-theft alarms at the "Gourmet Choco-Robo Boutique" began blaring.
BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!
"Code Red!" Deadpool gasped, dropping his slushie. He aggressively tapped his walkie-talkie. "Dispatch! This is Officer Pool! We have a 10-31 in progress at the chocolate shop! Suspect is on the move!"
The White-Haired Suspect
Strolling out of the candy store, entirely unbothered by the blaring alarms, was a twelve-year-old boy with fluffy white hair and a skateboard tucked under his arm.
It was Killua Zoldyck (Hunter x Hunter).
He wasn't running. He was just casually walking, his pockets visibly bulging with at least fifty limited-edition, gold-foil Choco-Robots. He unwrapped one and tossed it into his mouth.
"Hey! You! The edgy middle-schooler!" Deadpool yelled, revving the electric motor of his Segway. "Halt in the name of mall bureaucracy! Do you have a receipt for those chocolate-mechanics?!"
Killua paused, glancing over his shoulder with dead, sapphire-blue eyes. "I'm a licensed Hunter. I don't need a receipt."
"That doesn't even make sense!" Deadpool screamed, leaning forward as his Segway whined, slowly accelerating toward the boy. "This is a capitalist society, kid! Put the candy down, or I will hit you with a citizen's arrest!"
Killua sighed. "So annoying."
He dropped his skateboard, stepped onto it, and kicked off.
The High-Speed (?) Pursuit
What followed was the most pathetic, mismatched chase sequence in the history of the Nexus Mall.
Killua wasn't even using his Nen. He was just lazily weaving through the crowds of shoppers on his skateboard, doing kickflips over benches and grinding down the handrails of the escalators.
Behind him, Deadpool was absolutely sweating, his Segway beeping frantically as it reached its battery limit.
"Pull over!" Deadpool shouted, accidentally running over Yamcha's foot (who immediately fell to the ground in his iconic death pose). "I have a whistle, and I am not afraid to blow it!"
Killua glanced back, popped an ollie over a trash can, and smirked. "You're too slow, old man."
"Old man?!" Deadpool gasped. "That's it! Activating lethal force!"
Deadpool reached into his tactical fanny pack and pulled out a standard-issue mall security taser. He aimed it squarely at the skateboarding assassin and fired.
ZAP!
The twin prongs hit Killua directly in the back. 50,000 volts of electricity surged through the wires.
The Department Store Showdown
Killua stopped. He stepped off his skateboard.
Deadpool skidded to a halt, panting. "Gotcha! Read him his Miranda Rights, Soum! He is going to mall jail!"
But Killua didn't fall over. Instead, he slowly turned around. Sparks of blue lightning began to arc across his skin, crackling through his white hair.
"Oh," Deadpool realized, his eyes widening behind his mask. "Right. The whole... immune to electricity thing. Whoops."
"Thanks for the recharge," Killua said, his voice dropping an octave. His aura flared, turning the air around him a violent, electric blue. "Godspeed."
Killua vanished.
He didn't run; he teleported. The air cracked with thunder.
"Where did he go?!" Deadpool spun his Segway around in a panic.
He found himself at the entrance of "Senpai's Department Store," staring into a labyrinth of circular clothing racks, mannequins, and changing rooms.
"Marco!" Deadpool yelled into the quiet department store.
No answer. Just the soft hum of the fluorescent lights.
Suddenly, a dozen Killuas stepped out from behind the clothing racks, surrounding Deadpool. It was the Rhythm Echo technique.
"You wanted to arrest me?" all twelve Killuas said in unison, their voices echoing off the discount winter coats. "Come and put the cuffs on me."
Deadpool slowly unclipped his tactical flashlight. He looked at the camera. "Soum... I think I need a union rep. The minimum wage is absolutely not worth this."
"And also, I am not gonna show any mercy on that little double copy of sonic and beat the hell out of him."Deadpool groaned angrily