Li Yanxu yawned so hard his jaw cracked, eyes watering as he shuffled out of his room with the gait of a half-dead zombie. The morning—no, judging by the blinding light stabbing his retinas, the afternoon—sun hung arrogantly at the center of the sky, as if personally mocking him for oversleeping.
Before his brain could fully register reality, something flew through the air with murderous intent.
Pa!
A worn straw slipper slapped squarely between his shoulder blades.
"—Ow! What the—"
Li Yanxu staggered forward, nearly face-planting into the threshold. He turned around slowly, stiffly, like an old man whose bones were filled with rust, and looked up.
Standing in the courtyard was his elder sister, Li Yanya, arms crossed, expression calm to the point of terror. Her shadow loomed long and sharp behind her, like a demon general descending upon the mortal realm.
"You're awake?" Li Yanya asked pleasantly.
Li Yanxu's scalp tingled.
This was dangerous. Very dangerous.
"Elder sister," he said cautiously, putting on his most aggrieved face, the one he had perfected over twenty-two years of survival. "Why did you hit me?"
Li Yanya's lips curved into a smile that made even the chickens in the yard freeze mid-peck.
"Oh, nothing," she said lightly. "I was just testing something."
"Testing… what?"
"Testing whether our family's so-called genius is actually capable of waking up before the sun decides to retire."
Li Yanxu glanced up at the sky. The sun was so high it looked like it might charge rent.
"…It's not that late," he muttered.
Li Yanya raised a brow. "Not late?"
She bent down, picked up another slipper, and weighed it in her hand.
Li Yanxu immediately straightened. "Late! It's late! Extremely late! Shockingly late! I have failed the ancestors!"
"Good," Li Yanya said. "At least you still have some self-awareness."
She took a step closer, her presence oppressive despite her slender frame. The entire village knew Li Yanya's name. People whispered it the way they whispered about thunderstorms and mountain beasts. She had been born with terrifying strength—stronger than most men, stronger than logic—and before her marriage, she had once punched a wild boar unconscious with a single fist.
The villagers had called her a female yak reincarnated.
Then she married that Song guy.
And became… virtuous.
Thinking of it still made Li Yanxu shudder.
She cooked gently, spoke softly, even smiled demurely. It had been horrifying.
Fortunately—or unfortunately, depending on perspective—on the third year of marriage, that Song fellow had divorced her, married his so-called true love, and fled the village overnight like a thief.
Li Yanya had returned home with two children and a smile that was far too calm.
And then stopped being virtuous.
Which was worse.
"Elder sister," Li Yanxu said quickly, trying to salvage his life, "I was cultivating."
Li Yanya stared at him.
"Oh?" she said. "Cultivating what?"
"…My spirit?"
Another slipper flew.
Pa!
This time it landed right on top of his head.
"That's enough!" Li Yanxu finally exploded. "You can't just hit people whenever you want!"
"Oh?" Li Yanya said, eyes narrowing dangerously. "You think I can't?"
She reached for something leaning against the wall.
A wooden stick.
Li Yanxu's soul nearly left his body.
"She's serious!" he yelped, turning on his heel and sprinting across the yard. "Murder! Fratricide! Someone help!"
Li Yanya chased after him without hesitation, wooden stick whistling through the air as she swung. The siblings darted around the courtyard like monkeys possessed, knocking over baskets, scattering dried herbs, and sending a bucket of water flying.
"Stand still!" Li Yanya roared.
"Are you insane?!" Li Yanxu screamed back. "You'll beat me to death!"
"That would save rice!"
"I'm a ger!"
"That makes you lazier, not more precious!"
Just as tragedy—or homicide—seemed imminent, the door to the main room creaked open.
"Elder sister. Third brother."
A calm, gentle voice cut through the chaos like a blade through silk.
Both of them froze mid-motion.
Li Yanxu nearly wept in gratitude.
Their second brother, Li Yanli, stepped out, sleeves neatly tied, expression serene. He took in the overturned baskets, the scattered herbs, the slipper lying ominously near the well, and the wooden stick raised mid-air.
He sighed.
A long, tired sigh, filled with the weight of a man who had given up on life at the age of twenty-two.
"You two," Li Yanli said softly, "please clean up the mess."
Li Yanya immediately lowered the stick. "Hmph."
Li Yanxu straightened his clothes and sniffed. "See? Second brother is reasonable."
Li Yanli looked at him. "You slept until noon."
"…That's unrelated."
Li Yanli sighed again.
The Li family had only five people in total.
Three siblings—triplets—left at the village gate as infants. At least, that was what they believed. The village chief had found them bundled together on a cold morning, wailing like three synchronized sirens. No parents. No clues. Just three identical jade pendants and three hungry mouths.
Li Yanya claimed she was the eldest.
Li Yanli claimed he was the second son.
Li Yanxu had been unanimously declared the youngest.
Because he was lazy.
And also because he was a ger.
In this world, there were men, women, and ger—those who could bear children regardless of appearance. Li Yanxu had discovered this fact at the tender age of thirteen and had fainted on the spot.
Now, at twenty-two, he had accepted his fate.
Mostly.
Li Yanya's two children toddled out into the yard at that moment. The two-year-old boy clung to her leg, while the seven-month-old ger was strapped securely to her chest, babbling happily.
Li Yanxu's gaze softened despite himself.
"Big sister," he said more gently, "I'll clean. Don't scare the kids."
Li Yanya snorted but said nothing, adjusting the baby's wrap with surprising tenderness.
As Li Yanxu bent to gather herbs, his mind drifted—unbidden, as it often did—back to the truth no one else knew.
He was not originally Li Yanxu.
In his previous life, he had been an overworked, underpaid office worker whose greatest achievement was surviving on instant noodles and caffeine. He had died tragically, heroically, and very stupidly—slipping on a wet bathroom floor at three in the morning.
And then woke up screaming in a straw bed, reborn as a crying infant in an ancient cultivation world.
At first, he had been ecstatic.
Cultivation! Immortality! Flying swords!
Then he learned three things.
One: Talent mattered.
Two: Resources mattered.
Three: He was lazy.
Very lazy.
Still, he possessed something others didn't—memories of another world and a strange, half-awakened spiritual sense. Sometimes, when he slept, he dreamed of glowing meridians and whispered echoes of nature.
Echos, the word surfaced inexplicably in his mind, though he didn't know why.
He shook his head, scattering the thoughts like dust.
For now, survival came first.
"Third brother."
Li Yanli's voice drew him back.
"Yes?"
"There's news from the town," Li Yanli said. "The Immortal Sect will be testing roots next month."
Li Yanxu's heart skipped.
Immortal Sect?
Testing?
This sounded like trouble.
Li Yanya looked over sharply. "You're thinking of sending him?"
Li Yanli nodded. "If he has even the slightest talent, it's better than rotting here."
Li Yanxu opened his mouth to protest—
—and then froze.
Somewhere deep in his dantian, something stirred.
Warm.
Ancient.
As if the world itself had yawned along with him.
"Oh no," he whispered.
Not again.
This transmigrated life… was about to get very busy.