It was the summer of 2028. I was in high school, and I'd finally worked up the courage to send a letter to my crush.
"Dear Xu Lie, I can't hold my feelings in anymore. From the very first time I saw you chatting with your friends in the canteen, my heart started racing. Your blue ocean eyes and your smile melt my heart like gazing upon a heavenly dove. Your skin is so radiant, it's like nature itself couldn't leave your shadow. I've decided to blot out these feelings in writing."
I slipped the letter onto her desk right before lunch ended. My heart hammered against my ribs as she walked in. I watched from a distance, paralyzed, as she picked it up.
As she finished reading, her hands dropped. She didn't look for me. Instead, she covered her mouth and started laughing. And I don't mean a giggle, she laughed hard. She signaled to her friends, who "coincidentally" swarmed the desk at that exact moment. They bent over, clutching their stomachs, pointing at my handwriting.
I felt my heart crawl into my throat. I turned and walked down the hallway toward my next class, every step feeling like I was wearing lead boots. I stood in front of the classroom door for a full minute, dreading the atmosphere inside.
"Did you hear? Zang Hei asked me out!" one girl squealed inside.
"Girl, what did you say?"
"I said yes, of course!"
They dissolved into those annoying, high-pitched giggles. I reached for the handle, but the door swung open before I could touch it.
"Lin! You're here!" Rui shouted with way too much excitement. "Hey guys, he's here!"
"Whoa! So, how did it go?" Xay Bemh asked. I could see the expectant, hungry look on their faces. The thought of their pity irritated me even more than the rejection itself. I sighed, the weight of the day finally crushing me.
"She laughed," I muttered.
The reaction wasn't what I expected. The room went quiet. They all looked... sorry for me. Somehow, the pity felt worse than the mockery.
"Man... you might just have to turn gay," one of them said, his face dead serious. "I'm not even joking. You've taken so many L's it's time to reconsider your entire strategy."
We all burst out laughing, though mine felt a little hollow. I still wonder why I told those guys anything; they never take a single thing seriously. I went the rest of the semester and the rest of high school without ever telling another girl how I felt. As for Xu Lie? She ended up getting pregnant and had to switch schools. Knowing I avoided all that drama meant the memory didn't sting as much anymore.
Present Day
Now that you know my most embarrassing moment, are you happy? Don't act like I'm not talking to you. I know what you're thinking: "Is he talking to me?" Yes, you the one looking at the screen right now. Oh well, having one more person know my shame won't kill me.
"Lin... Lin!"
I snapped out of it. My coworker, Chen, was waving a hand in front of my face. We were at his place, and he'd just introduced me to his friend. "This is the girl I was telling you about. You've been staring at her ever since you walked in."
Great. Now she definitely thinks I'm a creep. She's probably typing it into the group chat right now.
"Sorry," I stammered. "You just... reminded me of someone, that's all."
My coworker nudged me with his elbow. "Thought you wanted to take her for a second there!"
I checked my watch, desperate for an exit. "I think I'll head home. You lovebirds have fun."
"Hey, stay! I can find you a date, the night is still young and tomorrow is Saturday!"
I waved him off as I walked out the door. "Rain check, man."
The night was freezing. Snow fell in heavy clumps, turning the neon signs of the city into blurry glowing smears. A massive billboard caught my eye:
COME DOWN TO LAY-MART! GET YOUR DREAM ACCESSORIES FOR 75% OFF! CELEBRATING THE SEASON THE RIGHT WAY.
"Actually," I muttered to myself, "I could use those salad accessories I've been looking for."
I stepped into the department store, the smell of "new tech" and recycled air hitting me instantly.
"Welcome to Lay-mart, thank you for shopping with us," an automated voice droned.
"I need a salad bowl and a grater," I said, scratching the back of my head. The store was massive, and they'd moved everything since my last visit. I wandered down to Aisle 5 and saw a worker stocking the shelves. From the back, she had long, flowing hair and a slim frame. Whoa, she looks good, I thought.
"Excuse me," I said, stepping closer. "Do you know where I can find the salad accessories?"
The worker turned around. My heart skipped a beat, then immediately sank into my stomach. It wasn't a "she." It was a man with a very delicate frame and long hair, but a very visible mustache and a deep, rugged face.
"Huh... what the... you're a man!" I blurted out before my brain could stop my mouth.
The worker's eyes immediately welled up. "Why would you say that, you jerk?!" he sobbed. His voice was deep and gravelly, which made the crying sound even more surreal. People began to turn and stare.
This is bad. I knew how this looked. In five seconds, I was going to be the villain of Lay-mart. I didn't wait to explain. I grabbed my basket and bolted for the next aisle.
"Get back here, you monster!" the man screamed behind me.
I ducked behind a display of blenders, breathing heavily with my hands on my knees. "Safe," I whispered. I raised my head and realized I was standing right in front of the kitchenware section. "Finally."
I grabbed the bowl and the grater, paid at the self-checkout while keeping my hood up, and sprinted for the exit.
Outside, the city felt like a Christmas card. The sound of bells jingled from a nearby storefront, and the air smelled like cinnamon and expensive hot chocolate. A ball rolled across the sidewalk and hit my foot. I looked up to see a group of kids playing.
"Hey Mister! That's our ball!"
I picked it up and tossed it back. "Here you go."
"Thank you! Merry Christmas!" they cheered, their laughter echoing in the crisp air.
I finally reached my apartment complex, shivering as I fumbled through my pockets. I unlocked the door and stepped into the warmth. "Home sweet home. Today was way too long."
I unpacked my bag, lined the new salad bowl and the grater up on the counter, and clapped my hands together. "Time to make a healthy dinner and forget today ever happened."
I opened the pantry. Empty.
I opened the fridge. A single jar of mustard and a bottle of water.
I stared at the pristine, empty salad bowl. I had spent two hours, survived a mid-life crisis memory, and offended a stranger at Lay-mart for salad tools... and I had forgotten to buy the actual vegetables.
I smacked my forehead so hard it echoed. "I really hate today."