That night, the sky was like a torn black cloth, and a pale moon peeked through the clouds. The wind carried the scent of blood, wet earth, and stale alcohol. In the middle of a rocky ravine surrounded by trees, dozens of torches burned, casting a dim light on faces full of hatred.
And in the center of that circle, stood a man in tattered clothes that were once deep black, now ripped, covered in dried blood that was still dripping.
His body was thin, but his muscles were taut like steel wire. His long hair was messy, partly covering his pale face, and partly sticky with blood. His eyes, usually melancholic like a drunkard's, were now blazing with madness.
That was me. Shadow Demon.
Or so they called me.
'Heh... I should've died in the inn, drowned in a barrel of wine. But look at me now, surrounded by hundreds of people just to kill one drunk bastard. Truly, this murim has a strange sense of humor.'
TAP... TAP...
I shifted my feet, standing unsteadily on the ground slippery with blood. Some of that blood was mine. Most of it? Belonged to those I had slaughtered tonight.
"Shadow Demon!" yelled one of the martial artists in a dark blue robe, with a silver dragon logo on his chest. "You have caused chaos in the murim for too long! Tonight, your history ends!"
I gave a crooked smile, my teeth stained red with fresh blood.
"Hey, hey... if you want to stop me, at least don't yell so loud. I'm drunk, my ears are ringing. I might think you're asking me to sing."
Some of the enemies glanced at each other. Some even swallowed hard, hesitant. Yes, even though I was just one step away from death, still... I could talk while laughing at them.
Among the enemy crowd, there was a harsh-faced middle-aged man, wearing a white robe with gold embroidery.
His hair was pure white, his beard long, and his gaze was full of hatred. He was Master Seon Jin-ho, the leader of the alliance tonight. Major sects that usually hated each other were now united for only one goal: to kill me.
Jin-ho's appearance was very distinctive... his robe was too clean, as if he had never been stained by mud in his life. His hand held an iron fan with a dragon carving, which was rumored to be able to crush stone with just one flick.
"Lee Raksa!" he shouted, calling my real name which I barely ever used. "You have stained the dignity of the great sects, massacred my disciples, stolen forbidden scriptures, and even insulted our ancestors. Do you think you can live forever?"
I raised the cracked wine jug I was still holding. My blood dripped from my elbow, mixing with the residual liquid inside. I gulped it down to the last drop, then threw the jug onto the ground.
CRASH!
Shards of glass scattered, reflecting the torchlight.
"Aahhh..." I sighed in satisfaction, like I had just had the last drink of my life. "You know, I don't remember what my name is. Lee Raksa? Maybe. Shadow Demon? Cooler. But for sure, I know one thing..."
I raised my finger, pointing at all of them. "You take life too seriously in this world. That's why you get so angry at a drunk like me."
Laughter erupted from my throat.
HAHAHAHAHA!
I laughed at them, laughed at myself, laughed at this damn world.
A few sect disciples immediately charged forward, yelling. They attacked simultaneously, swords glittering and slashing through the air.
SWOOOSH! CLANG! CLANG!
I moved. My body was full of wounds, but my movements were still fast. I parried the first sword with my bare hand, blood splashing as the blade grazed my skin. I shoved the sword hilt into its owner's face.
CRACK!
His nose broke, and blood gushed out.
The second sword flew toward my waist. I spun my body, letting the blade graze my waist while kicking the attacker's knee.
THUD!
His knee was shattered, his scream adding to the night's music.
'Hah... see? I'm drunk. But my drunkenness is not a weakness. It's a lifestyle.'
I grabbed the sword that had been dropped by one of the enemies. With a wild motion, I swung it to the right, to the left, forward, backward. There was no beautiful form of technique. No recognizable murim pattern. Just pure madness.
But that's what made me dangerous.
SPLASH! SPLASH!
Blood spurted into the air. Two heads flew. Another body fell with a gaping hole in its chest.
The enemies backed away a few steps, but Master Jin-ho's voice broke their fear.
"Don't retreat! He's at death's door! One more push and he'll collapse!"
I looked at Jin-ho with a mocking gaze.
"Death's door? Oh, Master Jin-ho... I walked past that door after my first cup of wine."
I laughed at myself.
'Damn, I don't even know how I'm still standing. My body is already broken. If it weren't for this wine, I would've collapsed. Wine, you are the real god.'
The torches swayed in the wind, light dancing on the faces of my enemies. Hundreds of eyes looked at me with hatred. I stood alone, blood flowing from wounds on my shoulder, back, and leg. But I kept laughing while clutching the sword like a madman.
That night, I knew I wouldn't survive.
But if I died, I would die in the way that annoyed them the most. With laughter. With mockery. With drunkenness.
"Alright!" I raised the sword high, blood dripping from the tip. "Let's see... how many more of you I can drag to hell with me!"
WOOOOOSH!
I ran forward, crashing into the wave of waiting enemies with a scream.
BOOOOM!
My body hit the front line like thunder descending from the sky. My sword slashed sideways, piercing a sect disciple's chest. Blood sprayed, his face frozen in fear before his body fell to the ground.
I twisted my wrist, the sword blade spinning wildly, cutting through air and flesh simultaneously.
SLASH! SPLASH!
Three people fell at once, the sound of broken bones and screams mixing in the chaos.
'Heh... look at that. You want to kill me? At least let me throw a farewell party first. And a party without wine... well, human bodies can be a decent substitute.'
Laughter burst from my throat.
HAHAHAHAHA!
But their numbers were absurd. For every person I cut down, three more stepped forward to replace them. I could hear footsteps from all directions, the clanging of swords, and shouts.
"Heaven's Net Formation! Capture him alive if you can!" yelled one of the troop leaders.
The enemy ranks began to move neatly, forming a circle. The torchlight flickered as hundreds of swords were raised at once, pointing at me.
I snorted. "Formation, huh? Damn, you think I'm a fish that can be netted?"
My sword moved wildly, striking the side of the circle. But as soon as I wounded one, another sword came from a different direction.
CLANG! CLANG! SWOOOSH!
Flashes of iron filled the air. I felt a sword pierce my shoulder.
SHUK!
Blood gushed out, its heat dripping onto my skin.
I roared, not from pain, but from rage. I flipped my body, pulling the attacker forward, then plunged my sword into his stomach.
PUUUK!
His guts spilled out, the smell of iron mixed with a foul stench.
'Ahh... amazing. My body is already full of wounds, but I can still move. Like a living corpse. Like a demon. Maybe that's why they call me Shadow Demon. Well, it sounds cool now that I think about it.'
I kicked the victim's body toward the enemy ranks, making them stumble back for a moment. But the next second, long spears plunged toward me.
THRUST! THRUST!
I spun my sword, deflecting two spears, but the third one was embedded in my thigh.
SHUK!
I staggered, my knee almost collapsing.
"He's faltering! Keep the pressure!" shouted a young martial artist.
I glanced at him. His face was still young, skin clean, eyes full of spirit. It was clear this was his first time fighting me.
I gave a crooked smile. "Young man... you should drink first before challenging me."
I threw my sword at him.
WHOOSH! THUD!
The sword was lodged right in his chest, piercing his heart. The young man's eyes widened before his body fell.
They yelled at each other, becoming even more chaotic.
"Don't let him escape!"
"Kill that demon!"
"He's almost dead, push harder!"
I felt my body starting to get heavy. Every movement drained my energy manifold. Another sword slashed my back, making blood spray onto the ground.
SLASH! SPLAT!
'Ugh... damn. I could die any moment. But I won't die like a dog. Not in front of these people.'
I grabbed a new sword from the ground, then spun quickly.
WHIRR! CLANG! SPLASH!
Other bodies were cut down, screams filling the air. But I knew... there were still too many of them.
In the distance, I saw Master Jin-ho raising his iron fan. Wind swirled wildly around him, like a golden dragon that had just awakened.
"Shadow Demon!" his voice echoed. "Today you will be buried with your arrogance!"
I looked at him and laughed, even though blood was pouring from my mouth.
"Are you sure, Master Jin-ho? I was hoping to be buried with wine. But it seems I only have your blood as a substitute."
I lowered my head, blood dripping from my chin, then raised my sword high once again.
'Alright... if this is my end, then I'll make it the craziest ending they've ever seen.'
DOOM! DOOM! DOOM!
My heart thumped loudly in my ears, mixing with the noise.
My body was torn everywhere; every step left a bloody trail. But my eyes... my eyes still burned with the fire of madness.
The enemies swarmed me tighter. Spears, swords, arrows everything was pointed at me.
And me? I charged into the middle of them with the loudest laugh that had ever erupted from my throat.
HAHAHAHAHAHA!
Swords plunged into my body from all directions.
SHUK! SHUK! SHUK
The first blade pierced my stomach. The second stabbed my chest. The third slammed into my thigh.
My body shook violently. Blood sprayed wildly, warm, dripping onto the ground like red rain.
I looked at the faces of the enemies around me. Some were scared, some were angry, and some were pretending to be brave even though their hands were trembling.
'Funny. They can stab my body, but none dare to look me in the eye for more than three seconds. Cowards.'
I grabbed the collar of one of the young martial artists nearby, pulling him closer. My hand gripped his neck.
CRACK!
His neck broke in my grasp. His eyes widened before his body went limp.
I threw the body to the ground and laughed, my voice hoarse and mixed with blood.
"IS THAT ALL YOU'VE GOT? IS THAT WHAT YOU CALL THE HEAVENLY UNITY ALLIANCE?! HUH?! A BUNCH OF HEADLESS CHICKENS!"
The enemies stopped, their faces pale.
Master Jin-ho stepped forward, his iron fan open, his face serious. "Even at death's door, you still look down on everyone. You are indeed a demon."
I spat on the ground, then smiled.
"A demon? Hah! I'm just a drunk who doesn't know when to stop. Don't get the wrong idea."
My legs started to shake. My vision was blurry. But I stayed standing.
"Kill him!" Jin-ho yelled.
SLASH! STAB! SHUK!
Blade after blade was plunged back into my body. My back, shoulder, arm—no part was intact anymore. My body became a pin-cushion.
Yet I kept laughing.
HAHAHAHAHA!
'Crazy... my body is destroyed. But I can still laugh. Maybe I really am a demon. Or maybe the wine flowing through my veins is stronger than my own blood.'
I dropped my sword to the ground, then looked at them with empty hands.
"If you want to kill me, kill me! But make sure you're ready to be haunted by my face in your dreams! Because even in hell... I can still laugh at you!"
STAB! STAB! STAB!
Dozens of swords plunged in simultaneously. My blood sprayed heavily, but I remained standing for a few seconds.
The enemies stared in horror.
I turned to one of the young martial artists who stabbed me while trembling. "Kid... if you're going to stab, just stab. Don't look like a slaughtered chicken. No dignity."
The young man was deathly pale, almost vomiting.
I took my last breath, blood spilling from my lips.
"DRINK IN THE NAME OF THE SHADOW DEMON!!!"
HAAAAAAHHHH!!!
My body finally collapsed, my blood flooding the ground.
DING!
Instantly, a transparent blue screen appeared in the air, floating right in front of me.
Lines of text appeared.
[System Message]
Subject: The Shadow Demon has died in a ridiculous manner. Final stats: 99% drunk, 1% sane. Final reputation: "The drunken demon who gave the great sects a headache"
My eyes widened. "What is this? Still mocking me even when I'm dead?! What kind of system is this?!"
The next text appeared.
[System Message]
Congratulations, you have officially failed to be a normal human being. Since your life was a mess, therefore... Regression begins.
"What?! Regression?! You must be joking! I didn't even sign up for death insurance!"
New text appeared quickly.
I gaped. "...Is this a system or a nagging wife?"
The screen shook, then a single short sentence appeared.
[System Message]
Spoiler: You are still an idiot.
I couldn't help myself. Even though I was dying, I burst into laughter.
"Hahaha! Damn... even the system is my enemy now."
A blue light exploded, swallowing my vision.
My body felt like it was being pulled into a giant vortex. My breath disappeared, my consciousness faded, and then... darkness.
I opened my eyes.
A flimsy roof. The smell of rotten wood. A small body.
I stared at my small, skinny, trembling hands.
'...Oi, don't joke around. I... I'm back in that poor inn?'
I turned to the cracked mirror in the corner of the room. A tattered boy's face stared back.
I blinked. The boy blinked.
'Damn... don't tell me this is really regression. Hahaha! My life has officially turned into a joke!'
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!