If you asked me how the fuck I got myself into this situation, I'd say… life. Yeah, I fucked up many aspects of my life and now I'm paying the price. A price that isn't really that big of a deal, though. I mean, these motherfuckers only want to cut off my dick… and to be honest with you I can live with losing my dick. But what's truly wrong and bad about this situation is the consequences that will come with it.
Yeah, well, sitting in a chair, chained down but naked, while a man stares you down, licking his lips is not very comforting, to say the least. Especially when you notice the scissors in his hand. You know the feeling of being trapped, of not being able to do anything, it's a truly special feeling, something exactly dark and sad.
So, back to the original question, how do I end up in this situation naked, chained down and waiting to be castrated?
Life fucked me up. Huh, I hope talking to myself helps the situation… but not really… I am fucked like fuck on the square.
Indeed, Lucius was fucked, fucked by life, fucked by the situation, and now maybe will be fucked by a maniac… but how did he get there?
The story is tragic yet something unbelievable… but the most important question is… where is he?
The answer to it… Eldoria, an MMORPG game that Lucius conquered… like truly did. He reached the Conqueror rank on the global server ten times in a row with… mage class without spending a dime on it. Lots of people criticized him on wikis and forums that a mage is a bitch class, though he still whooped everybody. He clowned on all of his haters and then… life clowned on him with brain cancer.
So Lucius was like, "aight bet, let's fight this hoe"… yeah, well, he lost the battle. Though if he had been rich or his family had money, then he might have survived it with top care, top surgery, but his family didn't have money to their names… and before he became a zombie… he did one thing that he could.
He conquered Eldoria one last time… yeah, he became the Conqueror of the global server for the final time… he defeated everyone again, literally everyone, and his name was once again at the top. And with that, the story should have ended… but he emailed the game's developers.
What he thought at that moment was, to say the least, a bit egotistical, but at the same time, considering his situation, it was understandable. He had been Conqueror eleven times, the one and only player since the game's launch to reach that level. And he felt sadness thinking that no one would know why this legendary player had vanished.
In short, he wanted his name to be in the game… he didn't want his legacy to fade away from it.
So he emailed the developers with a simple message, "I'm going to die, can y'all do something for me?"
Yeah, he didn't really write anything emotional or anything like that. No, he just wrote that he was going to die because of cancer and that it would be good if something could happen to his character or his name… and then he waited for a response.
Weeks went by as his health declined from the rapidly growing cancer… but a reply eventually came. The developers… they did it, and he was granted the title of Last Conqueror of the game, which meant nobody could become Conqueror anymore.
How kind of them to do all of that because of his little cancer… he cried. It was really emotional to see… more like realizing that he was truly going to fucking die… but what was even more emotional than death was what Eldoria as a whole did for him, what the players did, his friends, his enemies.
There was an event like a farewell party that was attended by thousands of players, so many players that the server actually froze many times… but it was so beautiful, no it was more than beautiful.
All the major bosses in the game, even the Forgotten Gods, even all the NPCs, were there with the players under the seven moons shining… that event was just… beautiful. There were no words he could use to describe all of it. Seeing all the bosses he had fought so much… seeing all his enemies, the top players he had always fought with, whether in the chat or in the PvP areas… it was unbelievably beautiful… so beautiful it needed to be fucked up by the doctors.
In the beginning, they said to him, "Oh, don't worry, you're going to live long, we'll cut it out"… and a week after the farewell event, they said, "You're gonna die sooner than expected, sorry"… well, public healthcare.
So time went on, and he started to feel that fuck in his brain truly ass-whopping him.
It started growing like it got LSD pumped into it, like it was sniffing up some cola. But when he could still move, could still speak… he messaged the Eldoria devs, saying thanks to them for all they had done, and from that point, he spent the rest of his time with his family.
They cried a lot, they laughed a lot, he even told them his deepest secrets that nobody ever knew… and then… puff… he died at the age of 28.
But something happened… before the day of his death.
He heard the words of his mother, reading out an email that was sent by the Eldoria developer team.
"Last Conqueror, a journey waits ahead."
It was short and that was it with an activation link… which his mother actually clicked on, because she thought it might be another event for Lucius… and yeah it was an event, because when he died and opened his eyes, he was not in Hell for his sins or in Heaven for whatever reason… but in Eldoria.
"No way…" His mouth was wide open just like his eyes, as he was looking all around and immediately recognized the place… it was a familiar one that stuck with everybody who ever played the game.
The spawn location of every beginner that starts the game, the palace where the storyline starts with basic tutorials, up in the clouds next to the Forgotten Gods' realm, which is a foreshadowing for the most ridiculous final boss fight in the main quest.
Yeah, the Forgotten Gods. Every newbie who logs into the game gets to see the gates of the realm and its guard. The developers did this in a way to impress the players, to show what is yet to come, that they can reach a level where they could fight even gods.
And that moment it was his journey that began once more… the journey of the Last Conqueror.