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My Incompetence is the Foundation of the Universe

RSisekai
28
chs / week
The average realized release rate over the past 30 days is 28 chs / week.
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Synopsis
All Lyno ever wanted was a quiet life, a comfortable chair, and a perfectly brewed cup of tea. He is, by all accounts, catastrophically, biblically, and almost impressively incompetent at anything resembling heroism, magic, or even basic self-preservation. So why does the world’s most powerful archmage believe his panicked stumble was a "Zero-Step Grand Incantation"? Why did the deadliest assassin in the empire witness him accidentally start a landslide and dedicate her life to serving his "unfathomable mastery of terrain manipulation"? Why does the Demon King tremble in his Shadow Citadel every time Lyno trips over a new rock? "He doesn't walk, he re-aligns the ley lines of the continent with every step!" "His sigh wasn't one of exasperation! It was a passive mana discharge that suffocated an elder god!" "When he spilled his tea, he didn't just make a mess... he created a nascent realm!" Lyno has no idea what's going on. He's just trying not to die. But with every bumbling mistake, every cry of terror, and every desperate attempt to run away, his legend grows. The most brilliant minds in the universe are his greatest propagandists, and the world's most terrifying villains are his most paranoid fans. He is the weakest being in existence, whose every failure is misinterpreted as a god-tier success. This is the story of how Lyno, through sheer, unadulterated incompetence, accidentally became the unshakeable foundation of the entire universe. And all he can think is: [CAN I PLEASE JUST GET A MOMENT OF PEACE?!]
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Chapter 1 - I Just Wanted Some Tea

CLANG!

The sound of warped metal screamed through the town square.

CRUUUUNCH!

Stone turned to powder. People shrieked.

Lyno was hiding behind a cart of suspiciously pungent cabbages, his heart hammering against his ribs like a trapped bird.

His day had started so well. The sun was out. He'd found a small market stall selling his favorite blend, the "Serene Mountain Leaf." It was expensive, a true luxury, but he'd saved for weeks. The small, precious bag was tucked safely in his satchel.

That was before the Golem decided to show up.

A ten-foot monstrosity of rust, iron, and pulsating purple runes. An "Autonomous Siege Unit" some terrified guard had yelled before being swatted into a nearby bakery. Now, it was systematically pulverizing the town.

[Oh gods, oh gods, oh gods. I'm going to die. I'm going to die and I haven't even tasted the tea yet!]

Lyno's internal monologue was a high-pitched squeal of raw terror.

The Golem turned its single, glowing optic toward his hiding spot. The cabbage cart.

BZZZZZT!

A low hum filled the air. A beam of violet energy was coalescing in its eye.

[It sees me! It's going to obliterate the cabbages! AND ME! I need to run!]

He didn't have a plan. There was no grand strategy. His body just moved, fueled by the purest form of panic.

He scrambled from behind the cart, feet tangling in his haste. He flailed his arms wildly, trying to regain his balance, looking like a drowning chicken.

"AaaahhhhHhh!"

It wasn't a war cry. It was a pathetic, gurgling scream of fright.

His foot caught on a loose cobblestone.

FWUMP!

Lyno went down, his trajectory shifting from a forward sprint to an undignified face-plant. In his frantic arm-flailing, he smacked the side of another nearby cart.

This cart, however, wasn't filled with cabbages. It was piled high with "Volatile Mana Crystals," leftovers from a failed alchemist's stall. They looked like little blue rocks. Innocent. Unassuming.

His hand slapped against the cart's wooden frame.

The sudden jolt was just enough to tip a precarious pyramid of crystals. A single, fist-sized crystal rolled off the edge.

It bounced once.

tink

It bounced twice.

tink

It rolled right into the path of the Golem's foot as it stomped forward.

CRUNCH.

For a moment, nothing happened. The Golem raised its foot, the crushed blue dust glittering on its metal sole.

Then, the world went white.

A sound like the sky ripping in half tore through the square.

KRA-KA-THOOOOOOOOOM!

A wave of concussive force erupted from the point of impact. It wasn't a normal explosion of fire and shrapnel. It was an implosion of pure, silent force, followed by an explosion of raw magical energy. The violet light in the Golem's eye flickered, and then extinguished.

The ten-foot siege engine didn't just fall. It disintegrated. Its metal plates, enchanted frame, and runic core were simply… unmade. Turned to fine, grey dust that rained down on the square.

The explosion left a perfectly circular crater, ten feet deep. The edges were smooth as glass, humming with a faint blue light. The very air tasted like ozone and cosmic potential.

Lyno, shielded from the worst of the blast by his fall, slowly pushed himself up. He was covered in dust, his ears were ringing, but he was alive. He frantically checked his satchel.

The bag of Serene Mountain Leaf tea was safe.

A wave of profound relief washed over him. He almost wept.

[Oh, thank the heavens. The tea is okay.]

He didn't notice the silence that had fallen over the square. He didn't notice the handful of surviving Imperial Knights staring at him with wide, disbelieving eyes.

And he certainly didn't notice the old man.

Valerius Zathra, disgraced Grand Sage, had been observing the chaos from a ruined rooftop, stroking his long, white beard. He had seen everything. He had seen the pathetic scramble. He had seen the panicked stumble. He had seen the flailing arms.

But he hadn't seen an accident.

His eyes, which could perceive the subtle flow of aether, were wide with maddening revelation. His whole body trembled.

"Incredible…" Valerius whispered, his voice cracking with awe.

[The others saw a man trip.] he thought, his mind racing at the speed of light. [The fools! They saw only the physical realm! I… I saw the truth!]

He hadn't seen a stumble. He'd seen a "Causality-Adjusting Sidestep," a maneuver so advanced it bordered on divine intervention. A movement that required zero aetheric-channeling because it didn't command reality—it convinced it.

He hadn't heard a scream of fear. He'd heard a "Sonic Resonance Burst," a primer word of power disguised as a simple sound to destabilize the Golem's internal runes.

And the final act... dear gods, the final act!

[He didn't just strike the cart. He calculated its resonance frequency with a touch. He sent a kinetic ripple through the wood—a perfectly tuned pulse—to dislodge a single crystal. Not two. Not a pile. ONE!]

Valerius's gaze fell upon the crater. The clean edges, the residual energy… it was impossible. No spell known to man could do that. This wasn't destruction. It was deconstruction. Annihilation on a conceptual level.

This was a technique spoken of only in forbidden texts. The Zero-Step Grand Incantation. An act of magic so perfectly in tune with the universe it requires no mana, no words, no gestures. It simply… is.

The man in the square was looking at his satchel with a look of pure, tearful relief. Valerius misinterpreted it instantly.

[He weeps.] Valerius realized, a shiver running down his spine. [Not from joy at his own survival, but from the sorrow of having to exert such power. To him, this level of awesome might is a burden. A heavy, lonely weight.]

Valerius Zathra's quest for a truth beyond mortal understanding was over. He had found it. He had found his Master.

His eyes hardened with fanatical devotion.

"I must know his name," he vowed to the smoking ruins.

Then, from across the square, a shaken Knight, helping another to his feet, yelled out.

"Did you see that? Who is that man? Is that Lyno from the bookstore?"

Lyno froze. Someone knew him. He slowly turned.

The disgraced Grand Sage on the rooftop stared down, his eyes blazing like twin suns. The name echoed in his soul, imbued with a cosmic significance only he could perceive.

Ly-no.

A perfect name. Simple. Unassuming. A flawless disguise.

The Emperor watched the man approach, his every casual step resonating with the laws of the universe. The Emperor broke into a cold sweat as he realized the truth: "He's not here to negotiate... he's here to judge me."