Jordan looked up at the sky above that held two moons and glared. No matter how much he blinked or pinched his now softened belly, nothing changed. He wasn't certain how much time had passed. But the moons head had drawn themselves across the sky from mid point to the southern horizon.
How do I know that? Jordan tried to remember something of how he got to be here in an empty field. He had already checked his body. It was not the body he had grown. It wasn't the body of a D-1 athlete, not one in the first string of the football team.
Jordan sat up. There wasn't difficulty, but his torso didn't rise with its usual ease. His body felt foreign. The knowledge he had that he could rationalize was concerning.
He had grown up being told "The sun rises in the east and sets in the west." And the moon, one singular moon followed suit. Yet, though strange to see twin south bound moons...
Jordan rolled into a table top position. He had aimed to stand up, but a strong waive of dizziness kept him low to the ground. That feeling he knew.
It was after 10 rounds of suicides on Art Hill in the steady Midwestern sun that only the most dedicated athletes would brave in June. The weightless feeling in his legs, followed by the spotty vision. The only thing that was missing was the extreme thirst and labored breathing where he was begging to die.
Ah. Now he remembered. He had wanted to die.
17 years. 17 years Leah Jones had been by his side. Their mother's were best friends, and always joked about the two of them growing up and getting married. Through preschool, and grade school, magnet high school programs and even both choosing Wash U together. They had always been together.
Jordan's insides lunched and his stomach spilled its contents on to the ground. Of course he felt sick. He had seen it all. Leah's naked and sweaty body undulating on top of the lead striker for the team.
Maybe Jordan had just assumed. Was it really just him that had expectations? It was all too much.
The position of captain, his mvp award, even the trust of his coach...and now Leah.
Maybe he wasn't always the best player. But he'd proven he was the right leader. Every time Avery failed, he was their to pick up the slack. Every time he missed a crucial game. Every time he missed the goal. Everytime coach needed help running drill and planning stay away games. Dealing with the Boosters. Getting funding. When people needed him, he ran to fix it.
When Leah needed him. When her parents divorce, it was him who held her as cried all night long. He was the one that helped her studied to get her ACT up. He help her before every major test, even for classes he didnt take. Even now he had planned to work with her on midterms.
But none of that had matter. Jordan had thought as long as he had Leah, being acknowledged at school for his hard work didnt matter. All he need was Leah.
But she apparently didn't need him.
That day he skipped practice. Even as calls from the coach rang theough his. His teammates. And finally Leah. He ignored the all and focused on the 40oz he'd grabbed from Schnucks on his way through the college city, walking around, aimlessly.
And then...
Jordan could recall what happened after that. The heartache and liquor had clouded his thoughts. At the time he didint care about meeting the expectations of other anymore. He was tired of coming up short the last few years.
At 20 years old, he had never done anything for himself. He had always accepted the labels given by other and done their bidding without question, and look where it got him. Second to Avery once again.
Jordan came to he was here in this field, no longer drunk and a sense of peace had settled within him. As if everything that had been wrong didnt matter anymore, at least not to him. He wanted a rest and nice long rest.
"There you are you lazy sumbitch!"