Musashi's pov
(June, 1643 – Reigandō Cave, Kumamoto Province, Japan)
Finally... peace. The day of my death has come at last.
I sit cross-legged inside the cool embrace of Reigandō cave. The stone walls echo faintly with the chirps of insects outside, and the summer air hangs heavy. My hands feel weaker than they once were, but my spirit remains unbroken. For decades I carried my blades, walked the path of the warrior, carved my name into history. Today, I lay it all down.
I think back on the duels, the battles, the men whose eyes burned with the same fire as mine. Every scar on my body is proof that I lived as a swordsman. I hold no regrets. To every warrior who crossed blades with me... it was an honor.
A faint smile creeps onto my lips. Yes. This is enough. I close my eyes. I let my breath flow out, long and final. Death, at last—
*****
"Welcome, great warrior, this is the afterlife."
Eh? Wait. What? I slowly crack open one eye.
And what the hell do I see? A glowing lady standing over me like some floating lantern. She's radiant—literally glowing—and her smile shines like the sun. Except... her chest is glowing a little too much. I can't ignore it. My eyes instinctively drift downward.
"What the heck?! Why is that lady glowing?!" I mutter.
She beams at me. "You have passed on from Earth, Musashi. I summoned you here to save a world in need."
Huh? The fuck did she just say? I JUST DIED! And now she's talking about summoning me? She's gotta be joking.
I push myself up and point at her. "Oi! Glowing lady! Who the hell are you, and why should I believe anything you say? Summoning? My ass!"
Her expression stiffens. "You're so rude, Musashi! I am a Goddess, you know?!"
Goddess? Hah! What nonsense. Though... damn. Not only is she glowing, but she's got a big chest. Heh. Nice.
"Goddess my ass, chest lady! Where the heck am I?"
She stamps her foot, cheeks puffing like an angry child. "I TOLD you—this is the afterlife! You're already dead! And I'm not 'chest lady'! My name is Eris!"
I glance up and down, not listening, my eyes once again drawn to her, uh... attributes. Yeah, she's definitely 'chest lady.'
"Where are you looking, you idiot?!" she screeches, hugging herself.
I chuckle. "So, chest lady, you said you're a Goddess, huh?"
"YES!" she says, crossing her arms smugly. "And for the LAST time, I'm Eris! Not chest lady!"
"Yeah, yeah. So what do you want from me, chest Eris?"
Her face goes crimson. "You... you... YOU LIKE PISSING ME OFF, DON'T YOU?!"
I smirk. "No, not at all..."
She narrows her eyes. "Say that again while looking me in the eyes, not at my chest."
I quickly avert my gaze, scratching my cheek. Damn. That's harder than facing down a dozen swordsmen.
"Anyways!" she snaps. "There's a reason I summoned you. Wanna know why?"
"Of course! What use is a so-called Goddess if she can't even explain herself?!"
Her glare sharpens like a drawn blade. Oh, she's pissed now. Good. Taunting others is my specialty.
"You bastard! You really love provoking people, don't you?!" she hisses.
"Yeah, yeah. Just spit it out already." I flop down cross-legged again.
She waves her finger, and suddenly—BAM!—we're sitting at a low table inside the shrine, laden with steaming dishes. Sashimi, roasted meat, rice, strange foreign dishes I've never seen before. The aromas assault my nose.
My stomach growls. Well, even if I'm dead, food's food. It's only proper to enjoy what's served.
I grab a dish and dig in. Not Japanese food, but delicious nonetheless. "Not bad, chest lady. At least you can cook."
Her eye twitches. "I didn't cook any of that. I conjured it, you dolt!"
"Conjured, cooked, same thing. Food is food." I shrug, chewing happily.
Eris sighs, sipping her tea like she's trying not to hurl the cup at my head. "As I was saying before being constantly insulted, the reason I summoned you is because another world is in peril. An Evil God has it in his grasp. I want you to free it and its people."
I freeze mid-bite. "You what? You want me to go there and fight an Evil God? Me?!"
She nods solemnly. "Yes. You are Musashi Miyamoto, the greatest swordsman. Who better?"
I slam my cup down. "Nah, not interested. Why the fuck would I risk my life for strangers in some random world? And did you miss the part where you called it an EVIL God? As in, 'stronger than most beings alive'? Ha! Screw that! I just died, lady! I was ready for peace!"
She gasps. "You can't mean that! They need your help!"
"Yeah, shut up. The only thing you've got going for you is your appearance. Especially your boobs."
SMACK!
The world spins. I swear my body turned upside down. My cheek burns like fire. That slap was harder than any sword strike I've taken.
"PERVERT!" Eris screeches.
I groan, crawling back to the table, refusing to waste good food. "Tch. Not like I'm lying."
She folds her arms. "So that's it? You won't help? You'll just sit here and sulk? The great Musashi Miyamoto... what a coward."
...Did she just? ...Oh no she didn't.
My chopsticks snap in half. "Who the hell are you calling a coward, you big-chested bitch?!"
"Of course it's you! Who else?!" she fires back without hesitation.
"You've got some guts, eh?! Wanna fight me?!" I slam my palm on the table.
But she only smirks. A smug, infuriating curve of the lips that makes my blood boil. "Me? Fight you? Please. I don't fight weaklings. If you want to test your strength against me, then first defeat the Evil God. Then we'll talk."
We lock eyes. My blood is boiling, my pride roaring like fire. This damn woman! No one mocks Musashi Miyamoto and lives to brag!
"Bring it on, bitch! I'll cut that Evil God's head clean off, and yours is next!"
She slams the table, laughing. "Deal! Bring me the Evil God's head, then I'll gladly face you!"
"Then take me to that world right now! I'll crush that bastard!"
She waves her finger—and before I can blink—WHOOSH!
The table vanishes. The shrine vanishes. The food vanishes.
And I'm standing alone in a grassy field. Birds chirp. Clouds drift.
"Aight! Time to kick some Evil God's ass!" I declare proudly.
Then it hits me.
Wait. Hold up. ...I just got tricked, didn't I?
"FUUUUUCK! Why did I fall for that cheap trick?!"
I tear at my hair. Damn it! I swore I wouldn't fight her battles, and here I am, dumped in some random world with nothing!
My hands pat down my clothes. No sword. No armor. Just me, in my plain robes. Shit. I can't fight barehanded! What kind of master swordsman goes into battle without a blade?!
Something flutters down from the sky. A piece of paper. I snatch it up.
Dear stupid Musashi,
Since you were so eager to go, I forgot to mention a few things. You have a weapon inside your item box—just say 'Storage.' You also have blessings from yours truly, the beautiful Goddess Eris. Say 'Status' to check your stats and skills. Oh, and before fighting the Evil God, you'll need to complete all the quests first.
See you later, sucker!
Love, Lovely Goddess Eris ♥
My eyebrow twitches. My veins bulge.
"That bitch... That big-boobed trickster bitch!"
I crumple the letter, screaming to the sky. "I'll kill you, Eris! You hear me?! I'll fucking kill you first!!"
The birds scatter. The grass sways. I stand there, seething.
Instead of stressing myself out because of that damn Goddess, I figured it's better to just check what's in that letter first. No point in wasting energy swearing at her boobs—no matter how distracting they are. The letter mentioned something about "storage," so I gave it a try.
"Storage."
A small ripple in the air opened up like a doorway, and inside was... two wooden swords.
The fuck?! Wooden swords?!
"Is this bitch messing with me?! I'm supposed to fight an Evil God and she gives me toys for kids?!" My voice echoed in the empty plains. A few birds scattered from the nearby tree like even they didn't want to deal with my frustration.
I grabbed one of the wooden swords anyway, deciding to test my appraisal skill. Might as well see what kind of garbage I got. The words floated in front of me:
[Eternal Training Blade] – A divine wooden sword that grows stronger as the wielder completes quests. The more you conquer, the sharper it becomes. Limitless potential. Cannot be broken.
I blinked. "Wait... so this stick levels up?"
I swung it lightly. The balance was perfect. The grip fit like it was molded for my hand. "Hmm... okay. Maybe not total garbage. But still, who the hell starts with wood?!"
I sheathed the blade back into the storage and sighed. "Fine. I'll play along, chest Goddess. But when I'm done, your ass is mine."
The letter also mentioned a "status." I muttered the word, and a blue panel shimmered into existence in front of me. Numbers, words, skills—all floating.
Strength: High.
Speed: High.
Endurance: Ridiculous.
Luck: ... Zero?
"Zero luck?! What the fuck kind of joke is this?! Ohhh I get it, she's mocking me!" My veins popped. "Big-chested prankster! I'll shave your damn head!"
Still, there were skills listed with glowing text—Sword Saint's Legacy, Appraisal, Intimidation, Fearless Spirit. And a few others were blurred out, unreadable, like locked secrets.
"Tch. Whatever. They'll probably open up when I beat enough things down." I looked around at the vast plains again. A few small hills, patches of forest, nothing dramatic. "So where's this first quest, huh? Do I just sit here until some monster jumps out?"
As if answering me, a glowing marker shimmered in the distance, pointing toward a small village beyond the hills.
I squinted. "Ahhh, here we go. The old 'start from the beginner village' cliché. Damn you, chest lady, making me play along with some beginner tutorial."
But I set off anyway. My sandals crunched the grass as I moved forward, muttering under my breath about all the ways I'd get back at that Goddess once this was over.
"I'll slap those boobs with the back of my hand, that's for sure. Hmph. Big-boobed scammer."
***
Eris' POV
Sigh. What a troublesome man. Just thinking about him gives me a headache. The way he called me names... the way his eyes never left my chest... Ugh! How did I end up with him?
He's strong, no doubt. His soul radiates like a burning flame. But strength alone isn't enough. That Evil God won't fall so easily. Even the combined armies of that world have failed, so what can one crude swordsman do?
But... rules are rules. By the decree of the Creator, I cannot interfere directly in mortal affairs. I can only grant blessings, choose champions, and hope they succeed.
And for some unholy reason, I picked him.
"Argh, Goddess Eris, you idiot!" I grabbed my head and groaned. "Why Musashi, of all people?!"
Still, the truth is, I didn't have many options. His soul was burning with battle spirit even in death. That spark is rare. That spark can ignite hope.
But he's also... insufferable.
"Calling me chest lady..." My face turned red. I glanced down. "... Well, okay, maybe he has a point. But still! Rude!"
I stood up from my shrine seat and waved my hand. The divine pool rippled, showing Musashi walking toward the village with his wooden swords. He looked angry. He was talking to himself. Probably insulting me again.
"Yep, definitely rude."
I crossed my arms, trying to steel my resolve. "No matter. He's the first. The vanguard. He'll carve the path whether he likes it or not. And when he finishes his first quest, I'll have enough strength to summon another one."
I pulled out the scroll containing the names of the chosen souls. Fourteen left. Each one unique. Each one destined to play a role.
The next in line...
"The most famous British novelist of the 20th century. A man whose words shaped worlds of imagination." I smiled softly. "If Musashi is a wild storm, this one will be the guiding quill. I pray he's not as rude..."
The divine pool shimmered again. I watched Musashi swing his wooden sword at a tree in frustration, shouting something about "boob trickster." My eyelid twitched.
"... Please, please, let the next one be more civilized."
End of Chapter 1
Trivia: Miyamoto Musashi, also known as Shinmen Takezō, Miyamoto Bennosuke, or by his Buddhist name Niten Dōraku, was a Japanese swordsman, philosopher, strategist, writer, and rōnin. He became renowned for his unique double-bladed swordsmanship and undefeated record in over 61 duels. He invented the style of nitō ichi-ryū, the two-sword technique, and is remembered today as one of history's greatest warriors.