I woke up for the day and for the first time in a long time, I didn't feel dread. I was weirdly looking forward to the day. Everything just seemed brighter and more full of life. I got out of bed and got ready for the day. I decided to take extra care of myself this morning because it had been a while since I felt this motivated for anything.
I got in my car and headed for the gym. I'd been going there about 4 times a week, it just really helps to get your mind off of things. I checked in and started my workout, but not long into I saw her. She began walking up to me and I didn't know what to do.
"Hey."
I was in shock. It had still been two, maybe three weeks since the break up so it still felt fresh. She even told me how much she never wanted to speak or hear from me again. I really didn't know what to do at first. It took a little bit of work but we started having a normal conversation. Just talking about what's been going on with us as of late.
After the gym I drove us around while we continued talking and just having an amazing time. It felt the same as it did before everything happened. I was having so much fun. When the day was coming to a close we went to her place. It'd been a while since I've seen it, last time I was there was to drop off her things.
We chatted some more and eventually it came to be sunset. I looked out the window and while deep in thought she asked me…
"What are we?"
It was the same question from when we had kissed for the first time. The same question that led to us becoming a couple. I had to just sit back and think about it. I felt so confused, almost as if everything was too perfect. Exactly how I wanted everything to pan out.
I laid my head in her lap for a moment. I was afraid to answer. When I finally looked up, her face was hard to see with the light of the sunset masking her from behind. It was only for a moment.
It definitely was peaceful. I awoke in my bed, somewhat hungover from the night before. I felt weirdly happy for the first time in a long time because of that dream. I think it was my subconscious trying to tell me something, that I still want to be with her. I can't go back though. No matter how badly my heart wants to I won't allow it. Those peaceful times are done and I need to move on no matter how hard it is to do so.
That's why I have chosen to write. Write about our time together. Hopefully one day you read this and understand my perspective from everything that went on between us. I don't blame one of us more then the other. We each have our equal faults. I just wanted to work on those faults while you wanted to forget we were ever a couple. Hopefully with this, I'll finally be able to lay these thoughts to rest.