Under the night sky, a blood moon loomed high above. Crimson light bathed the land, pooling in dark puddles that shimmered like gore under the eerie glow. It wasn't rain that had fallen...it was blood.
"Huh? Where the fuck am I?"
Standing knee-deep in that thick, viscous red, a one-eyed boy in a tattered black robe blinked dumbly. His expression? Pure confusion.
Around him, the ground was a slaughterhouse. Corpses everywhere...limbs twisted, heads cracked open like melons at a discount fruit market.
Giant trees loomed overhead, their roots drenched in gore. Blood oozed down from the trunks and dripped steadily into puddles with a soft tick… tick… tick.
"What in the actual fuck? Did I get sent to hell or something?"
"Obito... are you okay?"
At that moment, a hoarse voice echoed from the surroundings, making the boy flinch in surprise.
"Who the fuck is Obito...?"
Wait a damn second. That voice, was it… Japanese?
Reaching that conclusion, the boy was slightly startled, he had never heard Japanese in real life, other than in anime.
So… who the hell was playing a prank on him now?
Turning toward the sound, his eyes landed on a pale white creature with creepy-ass vibes and… were those tree branches growing out of his shoulder?
"Shit. What the fuck is that?"
He looked down at himself. His clothes were soaked in blood, and the corpses weren't just random...they looked familiar.
Forehead protectors, tactical gear, sandals that screamed "ninja cosplay budget cut."
His gaze narrowed.
"No. No, no, no. This ain't happening."
"If this is a dream, why the hell didn't I dream about Rias, Makima, or Tatsumaki? Why THIS? Why this Naruto from hell?!"
"Eh..."
"Hold up!"
He bent down, inspecting a nearby body. The ninja forehead protector was legit. Too legit. His eye twitched.
"…That headband's fake, right? Right?! …Oh god. Please tell me it's fake."
But deep down, he knew it wasn't.
Then...slam! his mind darkened, and a tsunami of memories hit like a 20-gigabyte lore dump.
Everything from both lives...old and new, flooded in all at once. His head felt like it was being jackhammered by exposition.
"Fuuuuuck… my brain."
The rush felt eternal, but it passed in just a second. And when it cleared, he knew exactly how fucked he was.
His real name? Bun Giggles.
Occupation? Rent collector. Professional shut-in.
Hobby-level degenerate.
Left hand? His only reliable companion.
Third hand? RIP.
He spent his days watching anime, binging hentai like it was soul food, and praying rent tenants paid on time.
Then one day, after collecting cash from over a dozen people, he found it...a weird black object with starry glows, like someone shoved the Milky Way into a lava lamp.
It screamed "magical artifact." So obviously, he pocketed it.
But as fate would have it, cue the fuckery...Truck-kun burst out of a side street like a Final Destination sequel and aimed straight for him.
Bun Giggles understood the assignment well...he jumped like a shounen protagonist dodging consequences and avoided the famous isekai Truck-kun.
Just when he was about to laugh, he looked ahead... and saw a wide-open manhole right in his path. He landed his jump perfectly straight into the damn thing.
His final thought? "Whoever left that uncovered, may your wife cheat on you with your dad."
As he fell, the black object behind him pulsed with suction and yanked his soul clean out of his meat suit. He barely got a look at his pancaked body before everything went black.
Regret? That he never deleted his hentai folder or cleared his browser history.
When he came to again… he was a baby.
Not just any baby. He was reborn in the Naruto world as Uchiha Obito.
While his soul was still merging with that cursed object, his new body developed its own personality and lived thirteen years as the OG Obito.
Training, crying, simping, dying, reviving, and plotting, all while Bun Giggles consciousness slept like a Windows update.
Just now, OG Obito had a mental breakdown after watching someone he loved die, and his fragile psyche collapsed...allowing Bun Giggles to take full control.
With that came everything. All the Naruto lore. All the anime knowledge. All the pain.
He raised his hand to his missing left eye socket, feeling the tingling chakra and the swirling energy in his right eye.
"…Yep. That's definitely Sharingan."
And so, Bun Giggles...pervert, shut-in, and accidental isekai reject, had officially become the ultimate edge-lord of the ninja world.
'Hold on. Let me process this shit.'
He wanted to scream...
"FUUUUUCK!!!"
"I'm cooked."
"Send me back... or at least let me be Momoshiki! Or Isshiki! Hell, I'll even take Daemon at this point...just not this simp!"
"Obito?"
A voice came again, right by his ear. It was Zetsu, with his creepy, moist-sounding voice.
'Shit... I totally forgot about this bitch.'
'Okay. Calm down, Giggles. No...wait. Should I be Obito now?'
'Ok… let's start the acting… otherwise I'm cooked fr.'
'Take a deep breath… Hah.'
'Nope! It ain't working! I'm still panicking!'
So the way he acted now was definitely suspicious, and if Zetsu snitches to Madara, then he might do something...
Something I don't want to happen, and that's—
Memory check!
How do I not look suspicious?
Easy.
Go nuts.
Nobody questions a lunatic. That's a known ninja fact™. You could start twerking mid-funeral, and they'd just nod and say "Tragic. Lost his mind."
And so...Bun Giggles decided to go full Light Yagami mode.
He raised his hand to his face, ready for the iconic maniacal laugh... but in his panic, he accidentally shoved a finger up his nose.
"…"
'FUCK ME.'
Still, he had no choice. He committed.
"Kukuku…"
"Hehehe…"
"MUAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!"
He let it rip like a villain on his third Red Bull.
Black Zetsu and White Zetsu, who had been quietly observing him, were both startled and suddenly their expressions twitched.
'Did we overdo it?'
'Shit. What if this guy actually lost it? Who's gonna carry the plan now?'
Even Tobi, who was clinging to him, thought:
Is he mad because he couldn't poop?
After the unhinged laughter, Obito dropped silent. Eyes glazed. He stared at the ground like someone who just realized they logged into the wrong Genshin account and lost their 5-star pity.
"…I'm in Hell."
He exhaled deeply, lowered his hand, and turned away from the Zetsus. Slowly, he walked to a girl's corpse...Rin's.
He knelt beside her and gently touched her cooling cheek.
"Rin…"
With soft eyes and a sigh, he whispered,
"…Sorry."
But internally?
'I'm sorry I couldn't repay you for how you made me into a top-tier simp. But don't worry. In the future… if I had one...and if I somehow had the strength to bring people back to life at will, then…
'I'll resurrect you. And clap those cheeks 24 hours a day. Non-stop. You'll need chakra pills and Gatorade just to survive.'
'The Obito you knew? Gone. Dead. The guy who wanted to create a dream world just for you? Not coming back. Rest in peace… for now. The future might just have something big in store for you.'
Now, he wasn't totally clueless. He knew there were multiple ways to bring someone back in this world. Edo Tensei, Rinne Rebirth, maybe even Chiyo's Forbidden Jutsu with some bonus chakra coupons.
It all came down to restoring the body and reviving the soul.
The thing is, while Bun Giggles had inherited the original Obito's memories, he had also endured the same pain.
But that didn't mean he felt the same way or held the same values as Obito… his perception of the situation and his perspective were different.
So, when it came to Rin...
There was… a trace of care. A little nostalgia. Maybe a sprinkle of "Damn, she was cute."
She was kind to him. Took care of him. Was the only one who didn't treat him like a weirdo. So yeah, maybe he'd do her a favor someday.
"I repay favors. I'm that kind of guy."
But not now. Now, he had bigger shit to worry about.
He stood up and took a deep breath. Time to roleplay full-simp mode.
What would OG Obito do after Rin's death?
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