I always thought I'd die saving a child from a burning building.
Or at least, something respectable.
Heroic. Tragic. Inspiring.
Not this.
Not slipping in a bathtub, electrocuted by my own damn laptop while watching busty yoga MILFs on mute.
Not even fullscreen.
Split-screen—because I was also Googling "can ramen expire?"
As my vision faded and the scent of burnt hair filled my nose, I had one final thought:
Well… at least I cleared my browser history.
Darkness.
Silence.A brief moment of peace.
Then—
[SYSTEM BOOT COMPLETE]
WELCOME, HOST.
YOU HAVE BEEN SELECTED FOR REBIRTH.
Rebirth?
Wait.Wait, wait, wait.
Wasn't I supposed to get a white-robed goddess? A spinning wheel of fate? A handsome grim reaper who looked like he wanted to steal my organs?
What's this?
Instead of all that, I got… a blinking blue text box.
Floating in the void like someone's poorly-coded PowerPoint animation.
"Uhhh. Hello?" I tried.
HELLO, KANG MIN-JAE.
CAUSE OF DEATH: SELF-ADMINISTERED AQUATIC ELECTROCUTION.
CONGRATULATIONS ON FAILING LIFE!
The text actually flickered with confetti. The passive-aggression was unreal.
"So, what? I get reincarnated? Cultivation world? Royal bloodline? Magical dong?"
YOU WILL BE RETURNED TO YOUR PAST BODY AT AGE 18.
THIS WORLD CONTAINS HIDDEN ENERGIES UNSEEN BY ORDINARY HUMANS.
TO THRIVE, YOU MUST GROW STRONG BY COLLECTING —
"Spiritual power? Artifacts? Dragon souls?" I asked.
—YIN-RICH FEMALES.
SEXUAL COMPATIBILITY DETECTED.
SYSTEM DOWNLOADING: [DUAL CULTIVATION MODULE – LUST PATHWAY UNLOCKED]
I blinked.
"Come again?"
Before I could scream, everything warped.My body twisted. My soul dropped like a falling Google doc in hell.
And then—
I woke up.
In my old room.
In my old body.
With my old, terrifying Doraemon boxer shorts clinging to me like a sin I'd never repented for.
"What the—?"
I sat up. My room was tiny, moldy, and smelled like sweaty laundry and crushed dreams.
And yet… familiar.
The desk was still chipped from that time I rage-smashed my alarm clock. My ramen stash was still hidden behind the bedpost.
And on the calendar—
September 12th. 7 years ago.
I'd just turned 18.Right before I signed a lease for my first solo apartment.
Right before I met her.
🍑Enter the MILF.
Ms. Seo.
Thirty-something. Widow. Owner of the tiny apartment complex I ended up living in for five years.
She was always kind, always soft-spoken, always dressed in fluffy robes that somehow hugged her curves like they had a personal vendetta against celibacy.
I remembered every damn second of that first meeting.
How her chest jiggled when she bent to give me the spare keys.
How I nearly ascended when she offered me tea and said "You're welcome to ask me for help... with anything."
Of course, back then I was a virgin with the confidence of wet toast.
This time?
I had a system.
And my rent was due.
Later That Day…
I stood outside the same old apartment complex.
Peeling paint. Rusty gates. Slight stench of disappointment in the air.Yup. Home sweet poverty.
[SYSTEM ALERT]
YIN-RICH ENTITY DETECTED.
DISTANCE: 12 METERS.
TARGET: MATURE FEMALE. HIGH BUST INDEX.
SUGGESTED ACTION: INITIATE SPIRITUAL BOND VIA PHYSICAL PROXIMITY.
"...You pervy Alexa knockoff," I muttered.
Still, it worked.I took a deep breath, adjusted my T-shirt , and rang the doorbell to Apartment 1A.
The door opened.And there she was.
She looked the same.No—better.
Soft black hair cascading past her shoulders, a gentle smile on her lips, and a purple silk robe that left just enough cleavage on display to leave the rest to imagination.
And the scent.Warm tea. Vanilla lotion. Something deeper… something dangerous.
"Oh, you must be Min-jae," she said, tilting her head."You're early."
God. Her voice was still honey over warm soup.
"Y-Yeah. I just… wanted to make sure I got here before dark."
Smooth. Real smooth.
She smiled, stepped aside, and let me in.
"Your room's just upstairs. I left the window open — it gets hot sometimes. I hope that's okay?"
"Yeah," I said, struggling not to stare at her chest."That's totally okay. I, uh… love open windows. Big… airflow guy."
Ms. Seo chuckled.
"You're cute."
[HOST AROUSED. DETECTED REACTION: ERECTION LEVEL 3.]
WILL YOU ACTIVATE SYSTEM TRAINING MODULE NOW?
"Shut up," I whispered under my breath.
"Sorry?" she asked, blinking.
"N-nothing. Just… happy to be here!"
And that's how I began my second life.
In a shitty apartment with peeling walls.
With a system that wanted me to bang MILFs for power.
And a landlady who looked like she could crush souls between her thighs.