"So that raccoon was staring at me with those devil eyes."
"Staring is still better. If you had stolen my food like that, you'd be six feet under by now."
"Come on, bro. That's evil."
Seriously, why do they fight like married couples?
I opened my eyes only to see the wall clock staring back at me like it was personally disappointed in my existence.
10:45 AM.
I missed my 10 AM class.
Goddammit.
It was hopeless to get up now. I just stared at the ceiling, waiting for some demon to crawl out of the shadows and comfort me.
But it came through the door instead.
"Yo bro, guess what—oh, what I found?"
James, my roommate, barged in mid-chew. Whatever he was eating fell out of his mouth onto the floor. Disgusting.
"James," came a sharp voice from the living room, "if you don't remove your underwear from the couch in the next five seconds, I will burn that shit."
That was Damon, my other roommate. The angsty brooding one with murder in his voice.
"Hey, don't do that! I'm coming!" James called out like he was in a rom-com.
As he rushed off, I finally sat up with a groan and checked my phone.
I did set my alarm… but oh well. Classic betrayal.
When I finally dragged myself out of bed, Damon was already in the kitchen, sipping black coffee like joy was a disease.
And James—well, I'm not exactly sure what he was doing, but whatever it was, it somehow resulted in a small fire.
Damon, with the emotional expression of a brick, casually poured a jug of water over James and his… flaming masterpiece.
I poured myself a nice cup of coffee—with milk and sugar, because unlike some people, I still enjoy being alive.
The living room window faced the front of our apartment building, so I walked over to open the curtains... and froze.
There was a black cat sitting on a bench across the road, staring right at me.
Okay, weird. But not that weird.
Except... right next to the cat were three crows, also staring at me like they were part of a paranormal PTA meeting.
"Okay... nope."
I closed the curtains. Hard.
Time to pretend that didn't happen and carry on with the day like nothing is broken in the universe.
I dragged myself to college for the next class, and yeah—instant regret. The topic written on the board? Ancient History. I don't even like that subject, but my mum asked me to take it. So here I am.
I plopped down on the last bench and zoned out almost immediately.
Damon, our senior, is in Computer Science. James? I still have no clue what he actually studies. Every time I see him, he's doing some weird alchemy shit. Like, full-on potions and herbs. He's basically a one-man Hogwarts.
I was lost in my thoughts, and before I knew it, class was over. Students were already filing out, so I grabbed my stuff and followed the crowd. But just as I stepped out, I noticed Professor Matteo looking at me with this... smile.
I smiled back, awkward as hell.
Something is definitely off today.
I didn't even remember walking back to the dorms. One second I was smiling awkwardly at Professor Matteo like I'm in a toothpaste ad, and the next thing I knew, I was unlocking the door to our shared apartment.
I opened it.
And immediately regretted it.
The air smelled like burnt... was that lavender? And James was sitting cross-legged in the middle of the living room with a circle of salt around him and six rubber ducks pointing directly at his forehead.
"Don't break the circle," he said, dead serious.
"I literally live here."
"Not now," he whispered like some haunted doll.
Damon walked out of the kitchen with a cup of coffee. He looked at me, looked at James, then back at me.
"This is your fault," he said. "You brought that cat energy home."
"What cat?"
He pointed at the window. The black cat was back. This time, sitting on our balcony. Still staring at me. One of the crows knocked its beak on the glass, like a very passive-aggressive salesman.
I closed the curtain. Nope. Not today.
I was preparing ingredients for dinner. James had said he'd help, but all he was doing was cutting carrots into weird shapes. Like, aggressively weird shapes. I really shouldn't expect anything from this man.
Damon was off in the corner, working on his laptop and sipping what I like to call his emotional support potion—black coffee. Bitter, just like him.
The doorbell rang.
Damon got up, opened the door, stared at whoever it was for a full second, and then shut it without saying a word.
"Nope. Not today," he muttered.
Hmm. Okay. That's not ominous at all.
"Look, bro, it looks like a dick," James said proudly, holding up the carrot he just murdered.
I looked at the carrot. Then at James. Then at Damon.
Damon was already staring at me with the kind of disappointment only parents of toddlers and roommates of chaos goblins feel. He was right, honestly—getting James as our roommate was a terrible idea.
After dinner, we all headed to our rooms for the night. Damon was the first to knock out, which honestly shocked me. The man drinks black coffee like it's holy water and somehow still manages to fall asleep at 9 PM sharp. Psychopath behavior.
I was lying in bed, scrolling through Insta reels—mostly cats and people falling down stairs—when James crept into my room.
He was clutching his fluffy bunny blanket, wearing a full-on bunny onesie, and topping off the look with a pink beanie that screamed "soft boi in distress."
"Hey," he whispered. "Can I sleep with you?"
"…And why is that?" I whispered back.
"I watched a horror movie," he said, voice trembling like he was in a ghost documentary. "I can't sleep alone. Please. Just for tonight."
"Go sleep with Damon," I whispered, already pulling the blanket over my head.
"I'm more scared of him than the ghost," James hissed. "Last time I tried that, I woke up at 3 AM and he was just… standing there. Holding a pillow over my face."
I blinked. "Excuse me, what?"
"He said he was adjusting it," James muttered. "But Romeo… he was trying to kill me. Damon is scarier than demons."
"Alright come on. And no hugging me in sleep. Okay?" I gave in.
"Yes okay. You are the best. Love you Romeo."
"Yeah okay."