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Hello. My name is Kai. I'm 17. A dropout. A NEET. And despite what people might assume, there's a strange kind of peace in it all like floating in still water, the world around me muffled and far away. Honestly, I didn't plan for it to turn out this way. No one really does. But now, this is my reality.
I was watching some dumb video online today, one of those "get your life together" montages with dramatic music and flashing images of success. Normally, I'd scroll past, maybe scoff, but something about this one stuck with me. It hit too close to home. Made me think about everything I've done and stuff I've been thinking about for a while. So here I am, writing this. I don't even know why. Maybe I just want someone anyone to understand.
You're probably wondering how I ended up like this. Why I dropped out. Why I chose this path of isolation. To be honest? It's because I hate people. I don't say that lightly. I've tried to like them. I've tried to fit in. But time after time, I learned the same painful lesson: people can't be trusted. They lie. They turn on you. They smile while hiding knives behind their backs. I used to mooch off my parents, yeah. But now they're dead. And with them, a part of me that believed in anything like safety, or home, or family.
All I do now is train and read novels. Those are the two things that keep me sane. Training helps me escape my thoughts. Reading lets me pretend I'm someone else. Both of them started with those 3AM bursts of motivation you know the ones. When the world is quiet and it feels like maybe, just maybe, you can become someone better. Someone admired. Someone strong.
But somewhere along the way, I stopped trying to become better for the real world. I spiraled. Instead of reading self-help books, I drowned myself in light novels. Escapism? Maybe. Probably. But those stories Those fantasies were the only places I ever felt content
I did try, though. After some time, I came out of my shell. I made friends. Went out. Tried to find a girlfriend. All the normal things people say you need to be happy. But it all felt... hollow. Every decision seemed layered with expectation. Choosing to hang out with one friend over another became a game of politics. Saying the wrong thing made people call you fake. And god forbid you have interests that aren't cool enough.
There's one moment that still haunts me. There was this girl unfortunate looking, by most people's standards. But she liked the same novel I did. We connected, even if just a little. I started a conversation with her, genuinely excited. But when my so-called friends saw us, they mocked us both. Her for how she looked. Me for talking to her. I panicked. I laughed with them. Even made a few jokes at her expense, trying to protect myself. Thought it was harmless. Just words.
But she switched schools.
That crushed me. That's when I started hating myself. That's when I stopped showing up. To school. To life. I locked myself in. And I haven't really come out since. I just read. Just disappear into my novels. There's one that sticks with me—the typical overpowered protagonist kind: The S-Ranked Academy's Knight. The title makes you roll your eyes, right? But I couldn't stop reading. Not because I liked it, but because I hated the main character—June. He stood on his principles. He connected with people like it was the easiest thing in the world. He had conviction, charm, values.
He sickened me.
I cringed at every chapter, watching him make friends, win battles, say the right things. Because I couldn't understand him. I couldn't relate. Not even a little. He was everything I wasn't. Everything I had failed to be.
Now my parents are gone, and I don't know what I'm even staying here for. The world moves on. People forget. And I'm just here, lingering like a shadow in a room that's lost its light.
I don't know what happens next. I don't know if anything will happen next. But if there is such a thing as a next life... maybe, just maybe, I'll meet someone like you..
"What if you did meet June?"
A voice disembodied, flat spoke to the boy slumped over his desk. Kai, passed out with his head buried in his arms, shifted slightly. His room was dim, lit only by the soft glow of his monitor in sleep mode. His breath was steady, but his brow twitched like he was half-dreaming.
He muttered, "Yeah? And how would that work, huh?"
The sarcasm was automatic, even in sleep. Annoyance crept into his voice. "Stop being stupid... stop dreaming... be realistic... face reality..."
Those were the thoughts running through his head, looping like a broken record. The voice didn't argue or explain. Just silence again.
Then it spoke one more time. "Do you want to or not?"
Kai groaned. "Sure, why not," he said, dripping with sarcasm.
A light flashed for a fraction of a second—bright, then gone. Barely there. Kai didn't notice. He shifted, curled up tighter, and went right back to sleep.
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About two hours later, Kai woke up in a haze. His head was heavy. Eyes unfocused. Everything felt off. Like waking up in someone else's room after crashing at a party, but quieter. No hangover, just confusion.
He groaned, his body stiff. He sat up, then stood, only to lose his balance and stumble. He fell face-first onto the floor, catching himself a second too late. His face hit the ground hard, and he let out a sharp breath.
"Shit," he muttered, clicking his tongue in frustration.
He pushed himself off the floor, rubbing his jaw. As he got to his feet, something caught his eye—a mirror. A tall one, standing against the wall.
There was no mirror in his room.
He took a step toward it, squinting.
What he saw made him pause.
The face looking back at him was... his, but just cleaner
He leaned closer. Still him. But not quite.
He blinked, suddenly realizing something.
"Since when was there a mirror in my room?" he said out loud, slowly.
He turned around, really looking for the first time.
This wasn't his room.
The walls were stone. The floor wasn't covered in old clothes or manga volumes. There was no PC. No bed. No cheap bookshelf. Just a wooden desk, a plain chair, and a window with heavy curtains letting in actual sunlight.
It didn't even smell like his room. No stale junk food or dust. It smelled... fresh. Like outside.
"What the f—"
He looked at the mirror again.
"Wait... where the hell am I?"