Honk! Honk!
Screech!
Bam!
The driver slammed on the brakes, but it was far too late. He never could have anticipated a man appearing out of nowhere on an otherwise empty road.
"Ugggh! Truck-kun, look, I wrote those posts begging you to run me over, but that was just because I believed it made me seem witty and trendy… You weren't actually meant to follow through…"
"Fuck! It hurts!"
Ling Tian, thirty-five years of age and currently a victim of a traffic accident, felt his entire frame sear with agony. It wasn't long before his legs gave way beneath him. His eyelids turned heavy, and though he struggled to remain awake, he couldn't resist, and his consciousness faded away.
****
"Hwa!" His whole frame convulsed as he jolted awake.
"What a nightmare…" He puffed out a breath, dabbing the perspiration from his forehead, though his look quickly twisted into a scowl.
"Where on earth am I…?" He peered around to discover himself in a completely foreign chamber.
Unlike the concrete-and-brick architecture he was used to, this space was constructed entirely of timber. It was clean enough, but the decor made it obvious that whoever resided here wasn't exactly flourishing.
Naturally, Ling Tian didn't have the leisure to ponder all this since he was already panicking due to the bizarre situation.
Was I kidnapped?
No, that doesn't add up. Nobody would bother kidnapping me, I'm not worth anything to anyone.
Wait… does that mean it wasn't a dream? Did that truck actually hit me?
He ran through every possibility that might explain his situation. He lifted a hand to his head and felt a distinct lump beneath his fingers.
Someone must have helped me.
That has to be it.
Great. Now I'll be buried under hospital bills. Haah… If I had known, I'd have sorted out health insurance ages ago…
He groaned inwardly, already calculating how many years of overtime it would take to dig himself out, mentally waving goodbye to his games and novels in the interim.
Then something stopped him.
Through all the confusion, he'd missed it, but now that his thoughts had settled, he noticed his hands looked paler and slimmer than he remembered. He glanced down and found himself dressed in clothes entirely unlike anything he owned.
He touched his face. His beard was gone, and even the contours felt foreign to him.
Hold on…
A completely different theory surfaced in his mind, and a strange, bubbling excitement followed close behind.
Hehe… is this what I think it is?
He quickly ran towards the door, and as soon as he opened it, he took a deep breath, his eyes shining brightly, and a big smile appeared on his face.
"Yeah! It's exactly what I think it is!" He cried.
The air was different. The scenery was different. There wasn't a shred of doubt in his mind. He was in another world.
"Hahaha! I got reincarnated!"
"Truck-kun, you absolute icon. I meant every single syllable of those posts! Hahaha!" He thundered with laughter, then drew one more deep breath before retreating back inside and collapsing onto the planks, practically vibrating with excitement.
"And now, following the script, this is where my cheat perk appears, right!?" His eyes sparkled as he sat there waiting.
****
Five minutes went by…
****
Thirty minutes went by…
****
One hour went by…
The excitement began to drain from his face.
Nothing had appeared.
"Okay… It's fine, it's fine. Some cheats like to mess with the hero's heart and only reveal themselves when he's in real peril… yes, that must be it…" Bobbing his head to himself, he surveyed the room until his sight lit upon a jagged stone resting on the floor.
Without a second thought, he grabbed it and hoisted it toward his stomach.
…or not.
"Nope. Not a chance. No, no, no, no, absolutely not."
"I'm not going to gash myself over something I read in a digital story, am I? That's completely ridiculous."
"Not that I'm scared or anything… It's simply illogical… Haha…"
He lost his courage and decided to linger a little longer instead.
****
Time ticked on, nothing occurred…
Eventually, Ling Tian threw in the towel on this entirely.
Of course. As if lady luck would ever have anything to do with me…
****
Truck-kun, you really weren't meant to take those posts for real…
He sighed, accepted his fate, and turned his focus toward figuring out how to build an average life here.
His sight wandered to a small glass tucked in the corner of the space. He strolled over, stared at his image, and cursed.
"Fucking hell! I'm fucking handsome!"
Every notion of living quietly evaporated on the spot.
"Right then, I'm going to make every beautiful woman fall for me. Let's go!"
A decision made in an instant.
Ling Tian beamed as he studied his face from every angle, growing fonder of what he saw with each passing second.
Thick, jet-black hair. Pale, flawless skin stretched over a face that looked as though it had been sculpted with great care. His golden eyes carried a peculiar, luminous quality. Sharp brows, a refined nose, a jawline that looked almost otherworldly.
"With a face like this, I am without question the most handsome man who has ever lived! I simply must find a woman deserving of me!"
As Ling Tian lost himself in visions of a glorious future, a sudden, sharp pain split through his head.
Then a scene played like a movie inside his mind, from birth to the present.
In his memories, Ling Tian found out that he was inside the body of a young man who shared the same name — Ling Tian, and that he was in a cultivation world. A world where people could become immortal and fly through the air.
He also found out the previous owner of the body had been an orphan who spent his days hiding because of his face, terrified of what people might do to him.
What a fucking moron. With a face like this, he should have found someone eager to protect him or get stronger and powerful enough to protect himself.
Once the last of the memories faded, a sound he had been waiting for finally rang out.
[Ding!]