Heidi, always amazed at how I managed to stay so calm in traffic, widened her eyes. "You're unbelievable," she said. "Actually, you're perfect, girl!" She loved showering me with praise. But at this point, the effect of her compliments felt less like flattery and more like something coming from a genuine place: our sisterhood.
Checking the rearview mirror, I crossed to the opposite lane through the four-way intersection where the trees were fenced off. Heidi turned on her favorite music on the radio and started eating her chocolate. "Yesterday was so intense." She wasn't saying it to complain; like other strong women, she wasn't the type to whine.
"You're right," I said, thinning my voice playfully. She burst into laughter, finding my tone fake. "How does your voice sound around certain people, and how does it sound now?" It was incredible that she had specifically paid to have the gap between her front teeth widened. One of Heidi's interesting traits was how easily she got swept up in the latest trends.
"Why aren't you answering?"
Catching only the last word, I replied, "I don't like that new girl with the ponytail either."
Heidi let out a laugh. "Is that what I said?" she chuckled. "Clearly, you weren't listening. I'm saying... Ugh, girl. She has zero coordination between her hips and arms. Plus, her family is forcing her to come here."
I snickered. "Because she's the precious princess of the Stephan family!"
"Let me have a say," Heidi countered. "After all, I'm not a servant to the Stephans."
"I wish I were," I said nonchalantly.
Rolling her eyes, she muttered, "Even being a dance instructor is better than that." Unlike me, Heidi didn't exactly do this job out of love.
I turned the steering wheel and parked my car in the lot of the dance training center, which was surrounded by tall blue glass walls.
"Get out..."
As we stepped out of the car, Heidi slapped the pavement beneath her feet. She waited for me to toss my keys into my pocket, and then we walked inside arm-in-arm. The moment we entered, a heavy scent of perfume filled my lungs. This perfume... Damn it! It was my ex-boyfriend's scent. I could recognize it anywhere.
But just as you shouldn't assume every bearded man is your grandfather, not everyone wearing this perfume was my "second-to-last" boyfriend. I'd only had two boyfriends in total. Just when I thought things couldn't get any worse, they had both fallen apart.
"Jennie," Joseph called out, tugging at my attention.
Feeling his long fingers suddenly surprised me. He brushed back his wavy hair and handed me my morning coffee. "When is your first session? I thought maybe we could grab a coffee."
I reached for the cup, focusing on the dimples that formed in his cheeks as his lips curved into a smile. "Thanks for the coffee, but I'm afraid we can't drink it together."
The smile on Joseph's face faded instantly. "Why?"
A strand of his wavy hair had slipped out of place. When I reached out to fix it, I felt his eyes flutter shut, and I quickly pulled my finger back. When he automatically opened them, I noticed his cheeks were slightly flushed. Did he like me, as Heidi thought, or was he just being kind enough to treat everyone this way? I didn't know, but I thanked him for the coffee once more.
Two sugars.
I looked around; Heidi must have already gone into her session. Her studio was 10.2. I imagined her, despite her slender frame, pressing the elevator button with her thick finger as it went up and down. I could almost see her long nails sinking into the buttons. I was lucky that my dance studio was on the ground floor.
Here, I could focus on my work, on the dance. Perhaps it was because I was teaching in the same place where I had once been a student.
When I saw the young girls walking by with their bags, clearly there for dance, they smiled at me. One even said, "Good morning, Ms. Jennie," her eyes beaming. Yes, I wanted them to be idols whose eyes sparkled when they took the stage. And yes, I wanted them to be women who were the protagonists of their own stages without needing a man. Another girl waved. I wasn't sure if they loved me or if it was just out of politeness, but I couldn't be certain.
At that moment, someone passed right behind me. I involuntarily squeezed the coffee cup between my fingers, feeling a sudden sting of heat. Hissing, I immediately set the coffee down on the long, dark brown table at the entrance of the classroom. My finger really hurt. I checked the time on my phone. I had two minutes until class started, and I still wasn't ready.
Opening the door to the dressing room near the long white chandeliers, I went inside and reached for my locker where I'd prepared my gear yesterday. I changed into a mint-colored legging and sports bra set and tied my hair up. I pulled out my pocket mirror, stuck out my tongue, and checked myself. Then I bent down to tie my sneakers. Comfortable clothes were ideal for dancing.
Comfort should be the number one factor in any job, anyway.
When I stepped back out, I entered the dance room one minute late. There were four students inside.
Scarlet, probably the prettiest among them, was adjusting her blonde hair tied in pigtails, moving her feet restlessly. Her movement reminded me of being anxious about something. Or should I say impatience? Even as I said good morning to them, my thoughts were spinning.
I had tasted that feeling of impatience many times while in a relationship. I would go to work, and the thought of getting ready afterward and rushing straight to my boyfriend's side felt wonderful. Back then, all the exhaustion of the day would fall off me like dust from a rug. But those were the loves I believed were "the one" at the time. I had loved twice, and both times, I realized the person I knew at the beginning wasn't the same person I knew at the end.
After reviewing yesterday's moves, I warmed up with light movements and tried to demonstrate basic body positions. While trying to show the final parallelism of the arms, I felt like I wasn't being clear enough for the first time. When even my best student, Kelin, struggled to understand, I decided to be more careful and repeated the movements.
"We can take a five-minute break." After checking the smartwatch on my wrist, I took a deep breath.
Everyone agreed. But the voices in my head wouldn't shut up.
There was a strange restlessness inside me today.
When I stepped out, checking the clock again, I noticed the coffee cup I'd left on the table was still sitting there exactly as it was. I had forgotten it. Naturally, I figured I should throw it away since it had long since turned ice cold. When I gripped the cup firmly, I felt that it wasn't full, but empty. I lifted the lid, pulled out the straw, moving with the stealthy precision of a detective.
The cup crinkled, and as the straw brushed against the inside, I noticed a piece of paper. Huh? One of those "hilarious" (!) jokes Joseph occasionally made! Who else in this workplace drank coffee properly besides him and me anyway? Most people here hated coffee in a way I couldn't understand. Now wasn't the time for this. I pulled out the paper to end his little game and held it up to eye level.
Damn astigmatism!
I brought the writing closer to my eyes. A phone number was written there, followed by a note.
"I chose you for the first and last time."