And, as usual, I have no clue if this thing's undercooked or burnt to a crisp straight from the author's kitchen
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Waking up in an unfamiliar bar was strange. I'm not the type to go drinking, not unless I'm really in the mood or invited by a coworker. How I got here was a complete blank.
"Oh my, it looks like our guest of honor is awake."
My gaze snapped toward the voice. A woman stood behind the counter, in her mid-twenties, and dressed like a casino dealer.
"You look like you need a bottle of water," she said with a pleasant smile. "Would you like one?"
My throat burned dry. "Yeah."
She reached under the counter and produced a small bottle of hotel-brand mineral water, sliding it across the polished wood.
"Here you are."
My hand instinctively snatched it. The cap twisted off with a satisfying crackle. I didn't bother with decorum, tilting the bottle back and downing the entire thing in a series of desperate gulps. The cool water was a blessing, clearing the fog from my head slightly, though the dryness in my throat had been just the tip of the iceberg.
I set the now-empty plastic bottle down on the counter with a soft thud.
"Better?" she asked, her tone still light.
"Much," I croaked, wiping my mouth with the back of my hand. "Now... where am I? And who are you?"
Her smile didn't waver, but her eyes seemed to glitter with a business-like sheen. She gently plucked the empty bottle from the counter, held it up for a moment as if inspecting it, and then placed it back down.
"All in good time," she said smoothly. "First, let's settle the bill for the beverage."
I blinked. "The bill?"
"Of course," she said, tapping a perfectly manicured nail on the bottle. "That will be eight dollars, please."
'Jeez, remind me again why I should never buy stuff from hotel bars. They always cost twice as much as they should...'
And of course, I took out my wallet and paid for the water. I didn't want to make a bad impression on my first meeting with someone who might know about my current condition.
"Here," I said as I gave her the exact amount.
"Thanks for the patronage," she said as she accepted the money, which immediately disappeared like a street magic trick. "And to answer your two questions: my name is Elenor, I'm your Dealer, and congratulations on winning the lottery! You can now use this Chaos Gacha to obtain various skills, items, and even familiars to help you in the Multiverse."
"What?" My head went blank when I heard that. "Chaos Gacha? Multiverse? What are you talking about? Is this some kind of prank?"
Elenor let out a light, tinkling laugh, as if I'd just told a charmingly naive joke. "Oh, far from it, my dear. This is the most serious and binding reality you are now a part of. As for how you were chosen... well, you're dead."
'What ? How?' was the only thing that crossed my mind.
"You are one of the many souls who are fortunate enough to get a second chance."
"How could I have died? The last thing I remember is walking to my apartment, and after that... everything is blurry."
"Let's just say you had an unfortunate encounter with the multiverse's most reliable method of soul transportation: a runaway truck. It was very... clichéd, I'm afraid. But effective."
'Oh... Fuck you, Truck-kun.'
"And if you ask how your family took it, of course they were sad, but they got over it. Oh, and your younger sister married her boyfriend. They live harmoniously and named their first child after you. As for your parents, well, they died peacefully of old age."
"That's quite reassuring, I think," I said wearily.
"With the gloom and doom out of the way, I think we can move on to the next thing," said Elenor as she took out a tablet-like device.
Elenor tapped the glossy black surface of the tablet, and it shimmered to life. Her smile widened, taking on a disturbingly plastic, corporate sheen.
"Right then," she chirped, her voice shifting into the cadence of a flight attendant forced to read a script written by a lawyer. "On behalf of CG, Inc., a subsidiary of the 'Omniversal Entertainment Board,' I'd like to be the very first to welcome you to the...."
I just stared at her, the exhaustion settling in deeper than the earlier dryness in my throat. I held up a hand. "Let me stop you right there."
Elenor raised a perfectly plucked eyebrow.
"This is a 'Chaos Gacha,' right?" I said, ticking points off on my fingers. "So, I get a system. I get thrown into random worlds. I get 'tickets' or 'points' for... I don't know, 'surviving' or 'completing quests.' I use those tickets to roll a gacha that could give me anything from an all-powerful divine weapon to a sentient, talking rock that does nothing but insult my fashion sense. The entire time, some bored, god-like entity is probably watching me like a reality TV show. Am I missing anything?"
Elenor's corporate smile faltered, replaced by a look of genuine, almost professional disappointment.
"Well," she huffed, crossing her arms. "You had to be one of those."
"One of what?"
"A connoisseur!" she said, sounding deeply annoyed. "Someone who spent their formative years reading self-insert web novels and multiverse fanfiction. You've completely ruined the 'Big Reveal.' I had graphs. And a very funny, very satirical segment on existential dread and the fine print of your soul-waiver. You already know the premise."
She sighed, a put-upon sound, and leaned forward on the counter, her dealer-like efficiency returning. "Fine. You know the tropes. You know the score. You saved us both twenty minutes of painfully cheerful corporate-speak. Congratulations, you've passed the tutorial-skip."
"Oh well, I'll definitely get the Platinum Trophy for this, just like in a video game where I managed to defeat the tutorial boss even though I should have lost," I replied.
[Feat Achieved!]
[Skip the Tutorial]
[You already know how to play this game.]
[+1 Bronze Random Gacha Ticket]
"Huh... neat," I murmured while looking at the transparent blue screen that appeared in front of me 'Classic'
"And now he even gets a ticket. Well, you could say he's a natural at this," Elenor muttered, as if to herself.
"Then let's get down to business," Elenor said, her smile turning sharp and genuine for the first time. "This, my dear Jumper, is the Chaos Gacha. And as a welcome gift, your first 3 golden random rolls are in the house."
Elenor snapped her fingers with the showmanship of a stage magician who'd been waiting all day for someone to appreciate her flair.
With a flourish, three objects shimmered into existence and floated gently down to the bar counter. They were tickets, but they looked more like ornate, oversized credit cards made of solid, gleaming gold. They felt heavy, even to the eye.
"And, of course," Elenor added, "your little 'tutorial skip' reward."
A fourth ticket appeared, landing with a dull flick next to the golden ones. It was a flimsy piece of card, the color of cheap, oxidized bronze, like an arcade ticket for 50-points.
"Well? Don't be shy," Elenor purred, gesturing to the tickets. "Rolls are paid for. Let's see what kind of Jumper you're going to be."
"Right." I took a breath. "Gacha etiquette. Always get the low rarity ticket out of the way first."
At the top of the ticket, there is a perforated line for tearing it open, similar to opening a booster card.
I tore the flimsy bronze ticket. It dissolved instantly into a shower of dull, brownish light.the same transparent blue screen flickered in front of my face.
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Rolling Random Bronze Ticket
[Paper Trail]
|Common Trait|
For some reason you are always carrying the relevant paper or information with you. And so do your familiars apparently. Just reach into your pocket and you can find whatever legal identification you need.
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I blinked. "So… infinite paperwork powers."
"Yes," Elenor said gravely. "Truly, the most terrifying ability of all."
I reached into my pocket on a whim.
It was a perfectly legitimate-looking ID card for... well, for here. Wherever 'here' was.
"That's... actually incredibly useful," I admitted.
"A 'mundane utility' trait," Elenor noted, looking a little bored. "How quaint. It'll save you a lot of headaches in worlds with pesky things like 'laws' and 'customs.' Don't underestimate it. Now, for the real prizes."
My heart was thumping a bit now. I reached out and tore the first of the golden tickets. It exploded in a brilliant, warm flash, far more impressive than the bronze one.
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Rolling Random Gold Ticket
[Apartment in Between]
|Rare Item|
You are now the proud owner of an apartment floating in stasis between all of eternity and infinity, it is a modern one-bedroom apartment with working electricity, heating, wifi, and gas.
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My jaw went slack. "A... an apartment? A home base? With Wi-Fi?" The sheer relief was overwhelming. "So I'm not going to be homeless, starving on the street to... wherever you send me."
"A very solid Rare-tier prize. It ensures our Jumpers have a safe place to recuperate, or... you know, not die of exposure on their first day. Good for our retention metrics." Eleanor confirmed, nodding.
"You and your metrics," I muttered, but I was already feeling a thousand times better. "Okay... next!"
I tore the second golden ticket. Another flash of light
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Rolling Random Gold Ticket
[Tome of Raya Lucaria]
|Rare Item|
Elden Ring - A magical tome containing the teachings of the Raya Lucaria Academy, allowing its reader to learn and harness Glintstone magic.
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"Magic," I breathed out, my mind racing. "Actual, proper, space stone-shooting magic." I wasn't going to be a helpless normal person tossed into worlds with dragons and laser beams. This was my ticket to not being cannon fodder.
"Another Rare!" Elenor clapped her hands softly. "My, my, you are lucky. Or perhaps the Gacha likes a knowledgeable client. Glintstone sorcery is no joke; it's the product of rigorous academic study and raw cosmic power. You'll have to put in the work to learn it, but the potential is immense."
"Right. Learning. I can do that." I was practically buzzing. A home and magic. This was a hell of a start.
I tore the final golden ticket.This time it seemed to sink directly into my forehead, giving me a brief, tingling headache.
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Rolling Random Gold Ticket
[Novice Conceptualization]
|Common Skill|
Conceptualization is your ability to understand what shouldn't be, in essence, it is your ability to comprehend the mystical, magical and eldritch. You have an easier time comprehending, understanding and learning mystical and exotic effects but so much above the average person.
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I blinked. "A 'Common' skill... from a Gold ticket?" I was a little disappointed, but then I re-read the description. And I looked at the description for the [Tome of Raya Lucaria].
My disappointment vanished, replaced by a slow, spreading grin.
"Oh, now that's a synergistic pull," Elenor said, looking genuinely impressed. "You pulled a magic textbook you probably couldn't understand, and then you pulled the skill to understand it. The gacha provides, my dear Jumper. The gacha provides."
"For a first roll?" she said. "This is disgustingly good. The RNG gods appear to like you."
"Or they want to watch me suffer spectacularly later."
"Well, yes," she said brightly. "But isn't that part of the fun?"
I sighed. "Goddamn gacha games."
"Now, now, don't jump out and fall into the mud before you hear my offer," said Elenor.
"Okay, what 'offer' are you going to give me?" I asked, my brief moment of triumph making way for suspicion. Things in a gacha system are always followed by a catch.
Elenor's smile turned sharp and genuine for the first time. "You're a 'connoisseur,' right? Then you know that a good start is just that: a start. The multiverse is... unkind. Your current setup is good, but it could be better."
She leaned forward, her voice dropping to a conspiratorial purr. "How would you like to... raise the stakes? We have a special promotion for Jumpers who like a little challenge. A gamble."
"You want me to take a handicap," I said flatly. "A 'Curse.'"
"Precisso!" she snapped her fingers. "We call it the Curse Roulette. You spin the wheel, you accept a randomly selected disadvantage, and in exchange, CG, Inc. compensates you with a high-value ticket. The greater the risk, the greater the reward. It's only for our most daring clients."
She tapped her tablet, and a new screen popped up, glowing with enticing, color-coded text.
I finished scrolling and let out a shaky breath. "These are... awful. 'Mortal Enemy'? 'Collared'? 'Wrath of Flesh'? Most of these are career-ending."
"All gambles are, my dear," Elenor said lightly. "But look at the Minor ones. 'Alcoholism'? 'Infertile'? 'Edgy'? Some are practically free tickets. It's all in the luck of the draw."
I weighed my options. My current pulls were good. Synergistic, even. But an extra Gold ticket... and the Minor Curses seemed... manageable. Annoying, but manageable. The "Resolve" conditions meant they weren't permanent.
"This is a terrible idea," I muttered. "I'm going to regret this."
"Probably," she chirped.
"So?" Elenor said sweetly. "Would you like to spin the wheel, Jumper? It's optional, but only the bold roll early."
I hesitated. My logical brain SCREAMED NO.
My genre-savvy brain whispered One gold ticket now could snowball. Risk = reward.
My inner gacha player muttered just one spin…
"Fine. One roll. Just one."
A slot-machine-style "SPIN" button appeared on her tablet. I sighed and tapped it. The screen was a blur of spinning text, the names of curses flying by... Lust, Mute, Mortal Enemy, Gluttony... before it slowed... slowed and…
I blinked, and the sharp, clean lines of the bar, the glowing text on the tablet, and Elenor's smiling face all blurred into an indistinct smear of color. I was overcome with a sudden, powerful headache.
"Ah," Elenor's voice said. "A classic."
Something was placed on the counter. I fumbled for it, and my fingers found a slim, wire-framed object. I lifted them to my face and put them on.
Instantly, the world snapped back into sharp, perfect focus.
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Curse Get :
[Four Eyes]
|Minor Curse|
You have naturally bad eyesight, causing you to need glasses to be able to see properly. Thankfully, the curse comes with a single pair of prescription glasses.
|Resolve: Get your eyes fixed by either someone with at least Adept level Medicine or a Biokinetic ability, or heal your condition through magical means.|
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"Well," I said, adjusting the glasses on my nose. "Of all the stupid decisions I could have made, that was the best possible outcome."
"That," Elenor cut in, "is what we call a jackpot curse. Minor inconvenience, easy resolve condition, no world-breaking humiliation. Congratulations! Very few people walk away from the Curse Roulette with something so… unembarrassing."
I sighed in relief.
"And now…" She snapped her fingers with a flourish. "Your compensation."
A golden ticket materialized and dissolved in the same moment
A blue screen popped up.
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Rolling Random Gold Ticket
[Magician]
|Elite Trait|
You are a natural-born Magician, making you naturally talented in the mystical arts, allowing you to learn, understand, and develop magic far faster and you have a unique intuition when it comes to matters of magic.
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Elenor leaned over the counter, a genuine, appraising look in her eyes. "Well, well. The gacha really does love a theme."
"A natural-born magician... with a skill to understand concepts... and glasses," I said, pushing the new frames up my nose.
Elenor's smile. "Congratulations. You've managed to roll the perfect 'Nerd Magician' build. How delightfully... academic."
Elenor said, looking genuinely pleased. "Some Jumpers get cursed into becoming a tiny gremlin with a yandere stalker. You got corrective eyewear and enough magical potential to make half the multiverse's wizarding schools foam at the mouth."
I couldn't help but smile.
For the first time since waking up here, I actually felt… hopeful.
Elenor spun her tablet once and winked.
"So, Mister Nerd Magician… ready to begin your real journey?"
The words hung in the air, drawing a sharp, definitive line between this... and before.
Before.
Elenor had summarized my entire life's conclusion in thirty seconds. A cliché death by Truck-kun, a sad family who "got over it," and a sister who moved on.
But now, with a safe place to sleep, a magic book, and the brains to actually use it, I finally had a second to breathe. A second to really... look back.
My old life was boring. Average job, average days, average routines that blurred together. I wasn't the protagonist of anything back then, not even the protagonist of my own life. I went to work. I came home. I scrolled through the internet until it was time to sleep, and then I did it again the next day.
The exact kind of life that makes you a "connoisseur" of stories just like this one, because you're desperate for something more.
And yet... it was my life.
Then, my little sister. My annoying, brilliant, wonderful little sister. Married. A mother. She had moved on, built a life, and found happiness. The fact that she'd named her first child after me… that sent a fresh wave of emotion through me, a bittersweet cocktail of love, pride, and a deep, yearning sadness. I would never meet my namesake. I would never get to tease my sister about her choice in husbands, or be the cool uncle who showed up with terrible presents.
I closed my eyes behind my new glasses, the world going temporarily dark. I pictured her face, smiling, holding her child. I pictured her husband a good man, from what little I remembered standing beside her. They had a future. A whole, linear, normal future ahead of them.
A silent prayer, a wish, a blessing, whatever you want to call it 'formed in my heart and mind. Be happy. Both of you. Live a long, boring, wonderfully mundane life together. Just…be happy. Both of you. Live that harmonious life. You... you deserve it. Don't worry about your weird, dead older brother.'
I closed my eyes and let out a slow, steady breath. A silent blessing, sent across whatever infinite distance lay between us now. A wish for them to be safe, healthy, and loved.
I had no idea if blessings carried weight in the multiverse. Maybe it was nothing. Maybe it was everything.
But it was all I could give them.
When I opened my eyes again, I felt lighter. Not healed. Not whole. But steady. Ready enough.
I looked up at Elenor, who watched me with an expression that was still professional, but softened around the edges. Dealer or not, she recognized what that moment was.
"So," I said quietly, adjusting my glasses with a small, resigned smile. "Yeah. I'm ready."
Her grin widened sharp, delighted, and just the slightest bit ominous.
"Then let the journey begin, Jumper."