The first thing I realized was that the mattress smelled like wet dog and the second thing was that my back hurt, not the usual "I sat in an editing chair for twelve hours" hurt but this was "I slept on a bag of rocks" hurt.
I groaned and rolled over, reaching out blindly with my right hand and patted the wooden floorboards.
Pat..... Pat... Pat.....
Where was it? I patted harder and panic started to creep in.
Where was my phone?
My alarm was supposed to go off at seven.
I had a Zoom meeting with the investors at eight. If I missed it, they would pull the funding for the rom-com, and I would have to go back to filming dog food commercials.
I sat up, blinking the crust out of my eyes.
"Siri," I croaked. "What time is it?"
Silence........
"Alexa?"
Nothing...
Just the sound of a dripping tap somewhere in the distance.
Drip.....Drip.....Drip.....
I finally opened my eyes fully and looked around, It wasn't my apartment.
My apartment in Tokyo was small, sure. It was basically a shoebox with Wi-Fi, but this place? This place was a shed.
The walls were made of dark, rotting wood. There was a single window covered with rice paper that had a suspicious yellow stain in the corner. The bed was a futon that had definitely seen better decades.
And the smell.....oh it smelled like miso soup and old socks.
"Okay," I whispered.
My voice sounded weird, too high, like I had inhaled helium. "Okay, Harry. You drank too much at the wrap party and wandered into a theme park. This is just a really immersive hotel room."
I stood up and my knees didn't pop which was new. I walked to the corner of the room where a cracked mirror hung on a rusty nail.
I prepared myself as I expected to see my tired, thirty-five-year-old face, I expected the dark circles under my eyes and the receding hairline I tried to hide with baseball caps.
I looked in the glass and a stranger stared back.
He was a kid....maybe twelve? Skinny and Pale. He had messy black hair that looked like it had been cut with garden shears and his eyes were dark and looked perpetually bored. He was wearing a grey t-shirt that was two sizes too big.
I touched my face, the kid in the mirror touched his face.
I slapped my cheek....Hard.
"Ow."
Okay....not a dream.
I turned away from the mirror and started pacing, the floorboards creaked with every step.
"Think," I muttered. "Truck? No..... Falling stage light? Maybe. I was on set....."
I stopped pacing and a headache hit me like a brick. Memories that weren't mine flooded in.
Name: Kaito
Age: 12
Status: Orphan
Bank Account: 450 Ryo
Occupation: Academy Drop-out
"Academy?" I said the word out loud as It tasted foreign.
I walked to the window and poked a hole in the rice paper and peered out.
I saw a telephone pole which was a good sign..... so electricity existed.
I saw a vending machine which was even better showing signs of Civilization.
Then I saw a guy in a green flak jacket jump forty feet into the air and land on a roof, running with his arms trailing behind him like a broken airplane.
I completely froze.
I knew that run as I had made fun of that run on forums for years.
"No," I whispered. "Please, no...."
I looked up..... Way up.
There they were, the faces. Four of them, carved into the mountain like the world's most egotistical graffiti.
"Naruto," I said. The realization settled in my stomach like cold lead.
"I'm in fucking Naruto."
I slumped against the wall and slid down to the floor.
This was bad, no this was catastrophic.
I wasn't a ninja, I checked the Kaito memories again and no this kid had zero talent.
He had failed the Academy entrance exam three times. His chakra reserves were roughly the size of a teaspoon and he was a background character like the guy who gets killed by falling debris in the first five minutes of the movie to show that the villain is serious.
"I'm going to die," I told the empty room. "I'm going to die, and I don't even have internet."
Ding....
A sound echoed in my head. A blue box, translucent and glowing, appeared in front of me, It looked like a cheap pop-up ad.
[System Initializing...]
[Entertainment_system loaded successfully]
I stared at it. "Of course, a cheat code. Is this the part where I get the Rinnegan? Do I get a Tailed Beast?"
[Welcome, Host. Detecting current status...]
[Status: Broke, weak and boring]
"Hey," I snapped. "I didn't ask for a roast."
[The world is a stage and you are the Director, your goal is simple: Entertain the Gods (and the algorithm)]
[Starter Gift Box available, Open?]
I sighed. "Open it and give me the super strength."
A flash of light filled the room and when it faded, something heavy dropped into my lap.
It wasn't a scroll nor was it a sword.
It was a black camera, I picked it up. It looked like a high-end mirrorless camera from my old world, but the lens was weird. It shimmered like oil on water.
[Item: The Omniscient Lens (Grade C)]
[Features: Infinite Battery, Auto-Focus (Soul Lock), invisible to non-chakra users]
I held it and it felt perfect in my hands. The weight was comforting and for the first time since waking up, my heartbeat slowed down. I knew this machine and I knew how to use this.
"A camera," I muttered. "You sent me to a world full of fire-breathing wizards and immortal zombies, and you gave me a camera."
[Mission 1:Capture a scene worth watching]
[Reward: Food(You are currently starving)]
My stomach growled on cue. It was a loud, angry growl as Kaito hadn't eaten since yesterday lunch.
"Fine," I grumbled, standing up and hanging the camera strap around my neck. It vanished from sight instantly, though I could still feel the weight. "I'll play your game, but if I get killed by a giant snake, I'm suing."
I walked to the door and pushed it open.
The hallway of the apartment complex smelled even worse than the room and finally I stepped outside into the bright morning sun of Konoha.
It was loud as traders were yelling and carts were rattling.
I took a deep breath.
Splat...
Something wet landed on my shoulder.
I looked up, a ninja had just jumped over my roof, spilling a bit of his cup noodles as he flew by.
"Watch it, asshole!" I shouted.
The ninja didn't even look back as he just kept jumping, disappearing over the skyline.
"I hate this place," I muttered, wiping the noodle broth off my shirt. "No traffic laws, no safety regulations and this entire village is an insurance nightmare."
I started walking towards the smell of food. I needed to eat, then I needed to figure out how to survive the inevitable ninja apocalypse with nothing but a camera and 450 Ryo.
But first, breakfast.
Authors Note:-
Well , how is the first chapter.
I wanted to do something different than usual....it's going to be a lot of fun.
I watched Naruto way back....so there might be some differences... Please be polite and say....no cussing.
Well ....
Support with power stones.