How exactly does an adult game become an internet laughingstock?
Well, what if it fails to do its one job—turning people on.
"Ecchi Online."
A game that became a global hit across all cultured communities.
Gorgeous character art, fluid animations, hours of branching dialogue, voice acting that actually cost real money, and the whole package that screamed, "This is going to break the charts." Every degenerate corner of the internet was practically drooling in anticipation.
But after its official launch, the legendary "Zero Erection" meme was born. Some even said it caused erectile dysfunction if you played it too long.
The CGs were stunning. The plot was decent, even kind of emotional in places. Yet somehow the sex scenes were just… mediocre. Like beautifully wrapped presents that turned out to be empty.
No cultured analyst could properly explain why it killed boners so effectively. Chemistry mismatch? Wrong pacing? A secret anti-fap curse embedded in the code?
For three years, it remained one of the great unsolved mysteries of adult gaming.
However, commercially, the game was a massive hit. The popularity did not come from it being good, but from the massive amount of memes and discussion about how spectacular the failure was.
And one should expect the creator to be happy about this. It was free marketing… right?
Well, that was not the case.
"YOU! Read that garbage review you posted. OUT LOUD!"
Floating in glowing golden letters right in front of my face was my 'supposedly' savage comment:
"This game radiates such powerful anti-nut energy that it could cure chronic masturbation. Perfect for No Nut November speedruns. I swear this is the best recommendation for your gooner friend. LOL."
A busty, outrageously curvaceous blonde woman was hovering, actually hovering, a few inches off my bedroom floor. Her arms were crossed under an absurdly generous chest that threatened to spill out of what could barely be called a dress.
Her thighs were plush, her hips outrageously wide, and the way her breasts and ass jiggled with each slight movement already told me how soft they were.
She looked like lust itself had decided to cosplay as an angry goddess.
"I am Ariel, the supreme creator of Ecchi Online and a goddess of Lust in training. And you, little human, dared to call my masterpiece an anti-gooning game?"
I just stared at the woman in front of me.
She was definitely hot, and I was hard as hell, but…
"Where are we?"
The place I was sitting, tied up to a chair, was definitely not my room. It looked like my room, yes, but I had an eerie feeling that the room did not belong to me.
I blinked once, finding myself oddly calm. However, before I could formulate a response, a soft knock came from the door.
"Oppa? You're awake, right?"
The voice behind the door was cool, almost unnervingly calm, yet carried the tiniest tremor of nervousness.
The voice did not let me answer before the door opened with a creak.
Long midnight-blue hair packed in a high ponytail. Pale skin without a single blemish.
The woman was unbelievably beautiful, wearing a high-school uniform that seemed designed more for aesthetics than actually going to school.
The skirt was so short that even her bending slightly would reveal her lower ass, while her blouse clung tightly to her clearly developed chest. She peered inside with large, anxious blue eyes.
The moment she looked into the room, the scene shifted from my bedroom to a grand hall that not even a five-star hotel could compare to.
The beautiful lady scanned the room, and when she saw me sitting up and staring at nothing, her shoulders stiffened.
"Ohhh, look who it is. Elizabeth in the flesh. You called her 'a cardboard cutout with no soul' in your reviews, didn't you? How does it feel to see your 'zero-heat waifu' standing right here, hmm? Feeling hard now, aren't you?"
"Oppa, sis said you should come and eat breakfast."
I opened my mouth, then closed it. Seeing no response, Elizabeth nodded once and ran out of the room.
Ariel floated closer to me, leaning in until her cleavage was approximately at my eye level.
"Now I want you to apologize to me for saying my game was trash. And also write a review saying that everything you said was a lie and that you fapped ten times every day to the images of my characters."
I exhaled slowly.
"Miss Ariel."
The goddess perked up at the honorific, her breasts bouncing.
"Yes~?"
"I'm sorry to disappoint you, but I didn't write the review."
Her smug expression froze.
"…What?"
"You see," I said, tilting my head toward her, "I let my roommate use my account because he got shadowbanned after posting four hundred words of thigh-praise ASMR under every single female streamer on the official forum. He told me it was a matter of life and death, so I lent it to him. I never actually learned what he used the account for."
Ariel blinked rapidly, little golden motes of light swirling around her as she scrolled through her system interface, as if running some kind of divine background check.
Five seconds passed.
Then ten.
Before it could reach fifteen, her entire face turned a vivid scarlet.
She dropped out of the air like a stone and landed on her knees in front of me with an audible pomf.
"So it wasn't you who wrote it…?" Tears visibly built up at the corners of her eyes. "I—I—I'm so, so, so sorry!"
Her forehead hit the carpet several times.
"I accused an innocent man. I dragged an uninvolved soul into my ultimate divine wrath!"
I let out a small breath. "Well, what's done is done. Can you at least let me go?"
Ariel raised her gaze toward me and nodded several times. "Okay."
With a snap of her fingers, the ropes binding me vanished. Standing up, I stretched, cracking my neck to the side.
I glanced at the goddess, who was still teary-eyed, and rubbed my temples. "Can you stop crying? It makes me feel like a jerk."
Ariel nodded once, wiping her tears with the back of her hand. "Okay."
I scanned the room, taking in its magnificent design. After a moment, I asked, "So what now?"
The goddess tilted her head as if confused by my words. "Well… from now on, you'll live in this new body." She clasped her hands under her chin, eyes sparkling. "You can thank and praise me later~♡"