I lived a normal life, really.
I was born in this world without parents, my uncle, who ran a small orphanage took care of me with the other children.
I never really fit in, the boys were all so keen on growing strong and energetic so they could enlist in the great army and help fight the war, but I could not understand their desire.
The girls, they were as playful but caring and observant, some approached me and tried talking to me. I found no reason to, so I finished the conversation as soon as I could with few words.
Slowly, they started to understand that approaching me was of no use. It was simply futile. I was glad they gave up.
My uncle urged me to make friends so I could get along and have an easy life in the future.
It's almost funny, now that I think about it.
"The future.. huh.." The crooked voice of a young man could be heard. The voice was strained, as if in some type of pain.
It was my voice.
My entire body trembled. The raindrops were falling on my skin, the cold sting of it was in contrast with the burn I felt in my abdomen.
'Fuck, this is really, really bad.'
I held on to my stomach as I felt the warm, comforting feeling of a soft substance oozing out of it, staining my grey shirt a dirty brown stain.
This warm substance fell all over my hand that was covering the opening from where it came out.
'I'm bleeding bad, fuck fuck fuck… it burns it burns it burns!'
I tried to scream, but what was the point, I would end up putting myself in more pain and nobody would come save me anyways.
'Filth is better left untouched..'
'I wonder if anyone would miss me.. ah.. why would they? I doubt they'd remember me.'
I was straining to sit upright, with my back supported by the cold concrete wall, but I felt the weight of my body increasing, keeping my hand covering my open — blood gushing — wound was getting harder. It felt really hot. So, so, extremely hot. My entire lower half burned. Maybe my body was mistaking the sense of pain for warmth. It almost felt good in this cold weather though, if it wasn't for me dying.
Then again, what was the point of me living anyways, I lived a very poor, filthy life. Barely scraping enough cash to survive, living in a small low-rent room, always being insulted by my scummy landlord, doing minimum wage labor around warehouses and ports in this damned city.
'It's ultimately better if I die and get reborn somewhere peaceful.. at least I'll rest there.. ah, heh.. I've been reading too much of those web novels.. they're getting to my head..'
I lowered my face, my disheveled long auburn bangs covered my face, obscuring my vision. It was all getting a little too blurry, the sound of the rain got distant, I was fading away. It was better this way.
***
I felt like I was floating endlessly, in a dark empty space. I could neither hear, nor see. I couldn't even feel anything. I could think though. That meant I was in a state of.. what, exactly?
Am I just a soul floating aimlessly now, searching for my purpose? Ah, it does feel nice though. Well, not really 'feel'. I think it feels nice..
There was no sense of time in this space. I wouldn't notice even if I had already spent millennia here. Maybe it has been years, or rather just a few seconds, I wouldn't notice either way.
Then something changed. I could hear noises, faint hums, they were hums at first. The faint noise grew louder, but it was still muffled. I felt the sensation of warmth that was starting to spread all over my body, a body that didn't exist a moment ago.
The sounds grew much more clear and louder. Some felt like cries, yells and some felt like mumbling. These sounds felt oddly human.
'Am I going to heaven? No, heaven wouldn't sound this unpleasant.. maybe I'm descending to hell.. ah, shit.. whatever..'
A sudden bright light blinded my sight that I didn't have a moment ago. I felt my ears ring, a sudden cold covered my body, making me shiver, but then I felt a soft fabric cover my body. It was wrapped around me, filling me with some warmth.
The bright light had disappeared, leaving the sight of a large, dimly lit room to my eyes. The dim lighting still felt too much for my eyes. Exposure to any light would be hard to adjust to after being in pitch darkness.
When my eyes adjusted, I saw a girl with a worried face. By her looks, she was barely older than me, so probably around 18.
Yes, I died the year I turned into an adult.
This girl had shoulder length wavy blue hair and bright, capturing green pupils. She wore a…
'Maid uniform? What? No, who wears these nowadays anyways?'
The girl looked at me with fearful eyes, as if I had done something heinous to her. Then, she swiftly moved to the left of my view, then further out of my sight entirely.
'What's the hurry? Am I that ugly to look at?'
I saw more women in similar maid uniforms in the dimly lit room. They varied in age but right now, they all shared the same worried expression on their face. Many quickly moved to the left of my vision.
'What is all this about?'
I heard worried whispers in a language I had never heard before. All these whispers collected to the left side of me. Something is going on beside me.
When I tried to turn my head, I was suddenly picked up, as if I was a very light pebble.
'Huh?? How'd she pick me up so quickly? I'm heavy, you know?'
She placed me in a masterfully crafted crib. A baby's crib. The type that wouldn't fit a grown man at all. It's my crib.
'No.. It can't be what I think it is.. right?'
I raised my hands to confirm it. I saw two soft, small and fleshy baby arms. The arms shined from the yellow light that came from the fireplace in front of my crib. It filled me with warmth.
It was confirmed. It's really true. I have baby arms, I'm in a baby crib in a room that does not belong to my time.
'So, it is true.. I have reincarnated..'
I had forgotten about the commotion. I tried to turn my head. I could see the edges of the huge bed, its expensive looking silk sheets hanging loosely. On top, I could clearly see it, but there was a woman on the bed. A young woman. Multiple women in maid uniforms, including the blue-haired girl were standing around the bed, trying to do something.
'Are they trying to help her or something? Wait.. The maid lady just now moved me from that bed. That means, my mother is on that bed.'
The word mother felt weird to think about, since I was an orphan.
'What is happening? Why are they all so worried? Is something happening to her?'
Curious, I tried to raise my head which felt so unusually heavy. Through the bars of my crib, I saw my mother's hand. It was deathly pale, and really thin. I could tell from just that, that she wasn't fit to give birth.
Suddenly, it all clicked. The worried faces, the heavy atmosphere, and my mother's pale hand.
'..Is she dying?'