Inside the Konoha Conference Room.
After returning to the village, the group quickly initiated the Five Kage Summit. They invited the Kages of the four other great villages and agreed to meet in the neutral Land of Iron.
Seated in the conference room were:
First Hokage: Hashirama Senju
First Mizukage: Byakuren
First Tsuchikage: Ishikawa
First Kazekage: Reto
First Raikage: A (Ay)
Standing behind each Kage were their respective bodyguards and successors:
Tobirama Senju, The Third Mizukage (Seriously, he has no canon name), Mu, A (Second Raikage), and Shamon.
The Mizukage's bodyguard was originally supposed to be Gengetsu Hozuki (Second Mizukage). But because Gengetsu and Mu had fought beforehand, leaving both injured, Gengetsu couldn't make it. Mu, having suffered severe burns, had to come wrapped entirely in bandages like a mummy.
Actually, Hashirama originally wanted Madara to join. But Madara refused. His reason? He was afraid he wouldn't be able to resist crushing these "trash mobs" to death...
When Hashirama heard the Raikage's name was "A," he got very excited and immediately asked:
"Greetings, Raikage. I wanted to ask if there is anyone in your village named 'I. Kobe'? He once attacked me!"
The First Raikage, A, was confused.
"'I. Kobe'? What a strange name... Lord Hokage, I have never heard of such a person..."
Hashirama nodded, but internally he didn't believe it at all. Because no matter how he looked at it, the successor standing behind the Raikage (Second Raikage A) had a body type that matched perfectly. Except his hairstyle was a bit...
Like a pair of triangular panties...
Maybe... because Kumogakure has a lot of... diverse bloodlines...
Hashirama kept staring at the Second Raikage, trying to see when he would slip up.
The Second Raikage was sweating bullets. He felt the Hokage constantly staring at him, but every time he looked back, Hashirama was looking elsewhere...
"What is going on today... Is the God of Shinobi's aura just too strong?" The Second Raikage wondered.
Mizuna had also followed them in, standing right next to Tobirama.
The other Kages were somewhat displeased seeing a child involved.
The Raikage suddenly spoke up:
"Lord Hokage! Bringing a child into such an important occasion... isn't that inappropriate?"
The Tsuchikage chimed in:
"Indeed... Bringing a child to such a solemn meeting? What is the meaning of this?"
The other two Kages didn't speak but nodded in agreement.
Hashirama scratched his head awkwardly.
"Ah... Sumimasen~ Sumimasen~ This is my little brother-in-law. He wanted to come in and see the world."
The Raikage was unhappy and slammed the table.
"Does Lord Hokage think this is a game of house? Can you also bring your wife to babysit next time?"
The Tsuchikage added:
"It seems Lord Hokage is not sincere..."
Hashirama just kept smiling apologetically.
Tobirama couldn't stand it anymore. He was about to speak up, but Hashirama stopped him.
Hashirama's next move silenced everyone.
He suddenly stood up straight, practically at attention. His face contorted into a ferocious expression as he stared at all the Kages present.
Tobirama was confused.
"Anija! What are you doing?"
Hashirama turned his head and whispered to Tobirama:
"I... I don't know! I felt something stab my butt!"
Mizuna was snickering on the side. To prevent his brother-in-law from bowing his head (kowtowing) too much, Mizuna had drilled a hole in the chair and poked a stick through it. Anyone would stand at attention after that.
"Brother-in-law? Are you hallucinating from excitement? What could possibly hurt you?" Mizuna teased.
Hashirama scratched his head and looked back. There was nothing there, just an extra cushion on his seat.
The other Kages were terrified by Hashirama's sudden outburst. They thought he was about to unleash the True Several Thousand Hands and massacre them all.
"L... Lord Hokage is indeed a bit excited..." The dark-skinned, afro-haired Raikage said tremblingly.
"I truly acknowledge Lord Hokage's Five Kage Agreement, which is why I came here. But this doesn't mean I will sign for nothing... Also, a gentleman uses his mouth, not his fists!" The neatly bearded Tsuchikage said rationally yet anxiously.
"Lord Hokage, rest assured... We of the Mist don't seek anything too expensive..." The Mizukage, who had a scar and looked very "wise," said quickly.
"Regarding the agreement... please return the Tailed Beast you stole from our village, Lord Hokage. Af... after all, it belongs to us originally. Of course! Buying it back with money is fine too. We... we actually don't mind that much..." The Kazekage, who had a very generic NPC face, said weakly.
Tobirama heard this. Not bound by feelings? That's great! He immediately spoke:
"The distribution of Tailed Beasts will consider the balance of power, so you will need to pay for them! Furthermore, the Tailed Beasts were just lying there in the wild. They don't have anyone's name carved on them, so they are wild animals. There is no such thing as 'belonging' to anyone."
Hashirama suddenly turned his head with an innocent look.
"Actually... giving them away for free is fine too."
Tobirama glared at him.
"Shut up!"
Hashirama lowered his head like a scolded child.
The Kazekage, perhaps angered by Tobirama's logic, spoke up with righteous indignation:
"The Tailed Beast our village sealed before was stolen by you Konoha ninjas! I hope you can return it! As for the other Tailed Beasts, we don't want them. Also, our village's environment is terrible. I hope Konoha can give us a piece of fertile land, some resources, and even 30% of the profits from this Tailed Beast transaction. We want that too."
Hearing this, veins popped on Mizuna's forehead.
"Holy sht! Taking and eating! Haji-Reto! You guy..."
The Raikage couldn't sit still anymore. He stood up and roared:
"Are you dreaming, Kazekage?"
The Tsuchikage chimed in:
"Damn greedy bastard. How can you be so selfish? Do you believe I can make you fly right now?"
The Mizukage added:
"You are going too far! Kazekage-dono!"
Tobirama commented:
"No, seriously, bro? It's daytime, right? Why are you daydreaming here?"
The Kazekage threw a tantrum like a child:
"We of the Sand are victims! If you don't agree! I won't sign this!"
The Raikage retorted:
"Fine! If you don't sign, I'll beat you up first!"
The Tsuchikage said:
"I'll make you fly straight away!"
The Mizukage suggested:
"How about we team up and destroy the Sand Village first?"
Soon, the group started a shouting match.
But the Kazekage was incredibly thick-skinned, acting like a "rolling knife meat" (hobnail liver/tough guy).
Hashirama wanted to mediate again, but Tobirama noticed and stopped him. Tobirama wanted them to fight.
Mizuna couldn't take it anymore either. He crawled under the table and arrived at the Kazekage's position.
The Kazekage saw a child between his legs and was confused.
"Brat, what do you want! Do you think this meeting is a game?"
The other Kages noticed the situation under the table and looked down.
Hashirama looked down and advised:
"Mizuna! Come back! That's impolite!"
Tobirama, standing to the side, sensed something was about to happen.
The Kazekage's bodyguard (Shamon) sensed something wrong and reached out to grab Mizuna, but the Kazekage stopped him.
"It's just a child. What can he do? Is he going to hit me?"
Mizuna finally couldn't hold back anymore and said:
"Kazekage-dono... If I gathered all the strength in my body into a left uppercut and smashed it ruthlessly into your 'Little Reto,' what would you do?" (Note: "Little Reto" = Penis).
The Kazekage didn't react in time and asked:
"What? You said..."
Before the Kazekage could finish, Mizuna launched an uppercut directly at the Kazekage's family jewels.
SHORYUKEN!
For this punch, Mizuna channeled all his non-elemental Chakra. After this punch, even a god couldn't save those balls!
CRUNCH.
Kazekage Reto's body spasmed violently. His eyes rolled back into his head. Strange, disjointed sounds leaked from his mouth:
"Oh oh~ Ah! Oh! Wa~ Wa! Ah! Oh ↗ ↘" (Note: Tom & Jerry scream).
Then the chair cracked. The Kazekage collapsed, rolling back and forth on the ground, twitching uncontrollably, hands frantically clutching his lower body.
Blood was literally flowing like a river on the floor.
Obviously, that thing was no longer usable...
The Kazekage's bodyguard was stunned.
"Ka... Kazekage-sama!!!"
Shamon screamed and rushed to support Reto.
At this moment, Reto asked in a trembling voice:
"Sha... Shamon... My... My Little Reto! How is my Little Reto! It hurts so much!"
Shamon looked silently at Reto's lower body. Then he looked at the unidentified meat paste stuck to the ceiling. He said helplessly:
"Kazekage-sama... Little Reto is on the ceiling... It doesn't hurt anymore... okay?"
Hearing this, Reto suffered a heart attack from rage.
"My... My... Mine!"
Reto's eyes rolled back, and he fainted directly.
Shamon panicked.
"Kazekage-sama! Kazekage-sama! Don't sleep! Kazekage-sama!!!!"
But Reto didn't move.
Although this "little" injury wasn't fatal for a Kage-level powerhouse, it left Reto with permanent physiological and psychological trauma...
Far away in the Sand Village, Chiyo suddenly felt heart palpitations. She looked in the direction of Konoha.
"Reto..."
The remaining Kages and bodyguards looked at each other. Looking at the scene, they all showed expressions of phantom pain, as if they had enabled Pain Sharing.
Hashirama: "......"
Tobirama: "......"
Everyone: "......"
Mizuna: "Ehe!"
......