Still inside the Iron Country Conference Room.
Madara and Hashirama withdrew their Chakra pressure.
The Tsuchikage (Ishikawa) gasped for air frantically.
"You! You! You Konoha people are shameless!"
At this moment, Tobirama adopted the "Karen Parent" attitude again.
"Tsuchikage-dono! Are you really going to hold a grudge against a child? He's just a child!"
Hearing this, the Tsuchikage coughed so hard he almost hacked up his heart.
"This motherfer is a child?! One punch exploded that guy's little bro! That monstrous strength is enough to go to war!"
Tobirama laughed.
"Does the Stone Village send such small children to war? How inhumane!"
The Tsuchikage turned red with rage (Red Team).
"Are you even speaking human language? Which village doesn't send kids to war these days? Ask the other Kages!"
He looked toward the other two Kages. Obviously, neither wanted to associate with him, so they turned their heads away.
"You! You guys!"
The Tsuchikage sat down in anger.
At this moment, the Raikage (A) spoke up.
"Enough, Tsuchikage! Stop fussing over trivial matters! Let's talk about the Tailed Beasts."
The Mizukage (Byakuren) chimed in.
"Exactly! Tsuchikage, you're a grown man. Why are you getting angry with a child?"
The Tsuchikage was panting with rage.
Mu (Second Tsuchikage) could only pat his back, terrified that his Kage would also end up crippled...
Hearing the topic shift to Tailed Beasts, Tobirama was about to speak when Mizuna tugged on his clothes from under the table, signaling he had something to whisper. Tobirama lowered his head.
"Mid! The Raikage and Tsuchikage were barking the loudest at the start! I think we need to teach them a lesson."
Tobirama thought it made sense and asked:
"Little Mizuna, what's your idea?"
Mizuna chuckled, signaling he was about to cause chaos again.
The only reason for this was the System Mission!
Just moments ago:
[Ding! Mission Issued: Prank the Raikage and Tsuchikage. Rewards based on the severity of the prank!]
The System's demonic voice echoed in Mizuna's ears.
Mizuna heard it and got excited. More fun! He immediately started plotting.
Tobirama lifted his head again and looked at the Raikage.
"So, Raikage-dono, which Tailed Beast would you like to buy?"
"For me... I'll take the Eight-Tails and the Two-Tails."
Tobirama smiled.
"No problem! We charge by weight! Let's say... 300 million Ryo each. That's 600 million total!"
The Raikage froze.
"What? 600 million? Are these Tailed Beasts made of gold or silver?" (Note: The Conman meme reference).
Tobirama laughed.
"These are freshly caught wild Tailed Beasts! If you think it's expensive, I think it's expensive too!"
The Raikage was unhappy.
"This is clearly robbery! I protest!"
Tobirama replied:
"Would my Konoha Village... scam you for that little money? Do you want them or not?"
The Raikage had a temper, and now his stubbornness flared up.
"You want that much! I definitely won't buy it! If worst comes to worst, I just won't buy them!"
"But I don't accept returns!" Tobirama looked down and smirked.
The Raikage was furious. He lowered his head and growled:
"Isn't this just robbery?! How about this! Lower the price, and I'll buy!"
Tobirama laughed again.
"Okay! What if you don't buy them?"
The Raikage laughed and pulled a token from his chest.
"Hmph~ This is the Cloud Village's national treasure! If I don't buy them, I'll eat this token myself! Happy now?"
Tobirama grinned, showing his teeth. He glanced at Mizuna behind him.
"Fine. Lowering the price a bit... 700 million for two!"
The Raikage jerked his head up.
"How did you calculate that?! Are you deliberately looking for trouble? Are you selling or not? Selling or not?!" (Note: The Conman meme).
He slammed the table, activating his Lightning Release Chakra Mode (Raiton no Yoroi).
Tobirama smiled and said:
"So, are you buying or not?"
The Raikage raged, ready to fight to the death.
"Tobirama Senju! I f your grandma!"
He launched an elbow strike at Tobirama.
Tobirama flashed away with Flying Raijin. Standing directly behind where he was... was the Thousand Demon Daggers, positioned perfectly upright.
The Raikage sensed danger and tried to brake immediately. He turned around and tried to stop his momentum.
But the tip of the blade was aimed perfectly at the Raikage's "Grains Samsara" (Anus).
The Raikage finally managed to stop. Just as he thought he was safe and about to sigh in relief...
The Thousand Demon Daggers suddenly shattered and extended.
Pfft.
The Raikage's Lightning Armor was instantly pierced. Blood flowed down his backside.
"AAAAAHHHH~~ WHERE THE F DID THAT SWORD COME FROM!"
Tobirama teleported back.
"Aiyaya~ Raikage-dono, I'm so sorry! That's Mizuna's sword. He just took it out to let it sunbathe~ You won't mind, right? After all, you are an adult, and he is just a child~"
The Raikage's face turned purple. He signaled the Second Raikage (A) to help him.
The Second Raikage ran over, intending to pull the sword out of his boss's butt. But Tobirama stopped him.
"Stop! Raikage-dono, you absolutely must not! If you touch that sword with your bare hands, your life force will be drained dry! That is a Cursed Blade!"
The Second Raikage's hand froze in mid-air. Obviously, he believed it.
Seeing his subordinate hesitate, the First Raikage roared:
"A! Do you actually believe his nonsense? Pull it out!"
The Second Raikage was sweating bullets. He didn't know what to do.
Tobirama saw his predicament and reminded him:
"If you agree to purchase the Tailed Beasts... we will find a way to help you pull it out~"
The Second Raikage was conflicted. Tobirama's words sounded like the devil's whisper.
After a moment, the Second Raikage made up his mind.
He reached out to pull the sword. The moment he touched it, he felt his life force being drained (Note: Thanks to Mizuna controlling it).
He let go instantly, covered in cold sweat.
"Raikage-sama! They're right! It really is a Cursed Blade!"
The First Raikage fell silent. His bodyguard wouldn't lie to him. He didn't expect Konoha to have such a thing...
"Fine... we agree to buy the Tailed Beasts..."
After saying this, the Raikage seemed to lose all strength and collapsed.
Tobirama signaled Mizuna to remove the sword.
The moment the sword was removed, the Raikage showed an expression of pure relief... and then the floodgates opened. (Note: He sht himself).
Tobirama stared at the brown substance on the floor and fell into deep thought.
Mizuna looked at the brown liquid on his blade with disgust and ran aside to wipe it off.
As for the Raikage...
He lay on his side, covering his face with his hands. You could even see a blush on his charred black face...
The Second Raikage was woken up by the smell. Seeing the awkward situation, he could only help his Kage up and leave in disgrace.
---
Now, Tobirama looked at the Tsuchikage.
The Tsuchikage realized it was his turn. His body stiffened, and he started sweating profusely.
Tobirama walked over slowly and placed his hand on the Tsuchikage's carefully styled hair.
"I heard you were chirping about Konoha earlier... You done? Huh? Seems like you really want to throw down with Konoha!"
Hearing mention of war, Hashirama stood up immediately.
"Tobi-rama! Enough! We want peace! Not war!"
Tobirama looked at Hashirama with a displeased expression.
"Anija! Am I not negotiating nicely with them right now?"
Hashirama wanted to say more, but Madara walked over, put a hand on Hashirama's shoulder, and signaled him to sit down and watch.
Tobirama turned back to the Tsuchikage.
"Throw down with Konoha... Do you have the strength for that?" (Note: The Conqueror meme).
Then Tobirama messed up the Tsuchikage's hair and walked to his other side.
"Did you bring a kunai? If not, I'll lend you one..."
Saying this, Tobirama pulled a kunai from his leg pouch and handed it to the Tsuchikage.
The Tsuchikage ignored him. He didn't dare look. He took out his pipe and a match from his pocket. He put the pipe in his mouth and tried to light the match.
Whoosh. Tobirama blew it out.
He took out another match. Whoosh. Blown out again.
After a few tries, the Tsuchikage gave up smoking.
"Here, take it!"
Seeing the Tsuchikage refuse to take the kunai, Tobirama forced it into his hand.
"Not acting tough anymore? Huh?"
The Tsuchikage stayed silent, just staring at Tobirama.
"Here... let me help you!"
Seeing the Tsuchikage acting like a stubborn piece of meat, Tobirama grabbed the hand holding the kunai and pressed it against his own neck.
"Is this good? Push it forward, and my life is yours, old man... I'll count to three! Just three..."
The Tsuchikage was filled with resolve. He decided to trade his life for Tobirama's. He prepared to stab when Tobirama reached three.
"One!"
Tobirama moved like lightning and snatched the kunai back instantly.
The Tsuchikage was dumbfounded.
Didn't we agree to count to three?
Seeing the old man stunned, Tobirama didn't hold back. He grabbed the Tsuchikage's head and started rubbing it in circles, like he was dribbling a basketball.
"I gave you a chance, but you're useless! I gave you a chance, but you're useless!" (Note: The Conqueror meme).
The Tsuchikage's carefully styled hair was now a bird's nest. He looked like a beggar.
Mu (Second Tsuchikage) recovered and wanted to intervene, but a single glare from Madara froze him in place.
Tobirama looked at the Tsuchikage and said:
"Everyone here is a witness. I gave him a chance, he was useless. Don't blame me. How about this... I'll give you another chance. Buy two Tailed Beasts... and I'll let you leave immediately."
The Tsuchikage remained silent.
"How about it? Fair, right?"
Tobirama asked. The Tsuchikage still stared blankly.
Tobirama got annoyed.
"What's wrong? Tsuchikage? Not giving Konoha face?"
The Tsuchikage didn't move.
Tobirama pointed at Hashirama and Madara.
"I'll count to three again. If you don't agree, those two will wipe out your village."
Hashirama: ?
"One!"
"Two!"
Finally, the Tsuchikage spoke.
"I'll buy... I surrender... Konoha is the boss..."
Mu finally snapped out of it and watched this scene in shock.
Tobirama smiled.
"That's right~"
Then he looked at the Mizukage.
The Mizukage saw Tobirama looking at him and immediately said:
"I... I'll buy two too!"
Tobirama laughed even louder.
"Hahahaha! You are someone who knows how to appreciate a favor~"
He walked over and patted the Mizukage's white-haired, wisdom-filled head.
Hashirama was confused watching this.
"Is... is this still my calm and composed little brother?"
Madara laughed too.
"Hmph~ Quite interesting~"
Then, both of them looked at Mizuna. They wanted to know what he had whispered to Tobirama.
Mizuna didn't speak. He was just busy wiping his sword.
Seeing Mizuna silent, Hashirama didn't ask. He just sat there dejectedly.
Madara, however, was hyped. He looked at Mizuna and said:
"Brat! Next time there's a meeting, I'm coming too! Prepare something even more domineering than this for me!"
Everyone: "......"
Mizuna: "Huh?"
Madara: (Smirks coldly).
......