Dying at sixteen sucked, but somehow, it sucked even more to be listening to two godlike beings talk trash about your short, uneventful life.
Uneventful because I spent the majority of my life locked in my room, binge-watching movies, grinding through video games, and occasionally zoning out while staring at my standing fan.
Because, hey, maybe it held the meaning of life.
And then I died.
How? Oh, real simple.
After hours of gaming, I finally stood up to take a piss.
Then...it happened all of a sudden.
A searing pain exploded in my chest, as if someone had just stabbed me with a red-hot knife, and just like that, Sylas Stone was dead.
I thought only old people had heart attacks...turns out, I was wrong.
The next thing I knew, I was here. In this strange space, as a floating blob.
Or, should I call it soul form?
Weightless and drifting.
Completely at the mercy of whatever cosmic forces decided my fate.
In front of me stood two towering figures, their bodies shifting like swirling shadows, radiating an energy that felt ancient and impossibly powerful.
Their presence was overwhelming. Not in a holy and divine way, but in a we-could-snap-you-out-of-existence-and-not-care kind of way.
One of them lazily stroked his chin, staring at me like I was a nuisance he didn't feel like handling.
"I don't understand..." He said with a deep voice that vibrated through the space around us. "How did this one get here?"
His assistant, smaller but just as eerie, shot him a confused glance.
"What do you mean, master?"
Cosmic being one, narrowed his glowing eyes.
"This has never happened before."
Of course it hasn't. I'm special.
Then, without warning, he leaned in, his massive, shadowy form swallowing my vision.
My noneexistent hearbat began to pound, and every instinct screamed at me to flee
But I couldn't even if I wanted to, my soul form was frozen in place.
The assistant's shadowy form flickered slightly.
"I don't understand what you mean, Master."
Cosmic Being one let out a heavy sigh, shaking his head:
" I'm right. This is a dud."
A spark of rage that came from nowhere, shot through me.
Pardon… who TF are you calling a dud?
The assistant tilted his head.
"What's a dud?"
Yeah, what's a dud?
I was curious as well.
Cosmic Being One sighed:
"I only reincarnate souls that have accomplished noteworthy feats on Earth. So why is such an incompetent soul standing in front of me?"
Okay...no need to be rude. I didn't ask to be here.
The assistant shifted awkwardly.
"An incompetent soul. What do we do about it?"
Cosmic Being tapped his chin, lost in thought. Then, with a casual wave of his hand, he made his decision.
"Send it to Eldoria."
A beat of silence.
Eldoria? I gasped in horror.
Even though I don't know where or what that was.
It sounded like hell to me.
The assistant blinked, then gave him a slow nod.
"Alright."
Then Kamisama added, almost as an afterthought.
"But as a goblin."
I furrowed my nonexistent brow…
"Wait...what the hell?"
A goblin?!
The command sounded like it came out of nowhere. And even the assistant seemed thrown off by it.
"Why do that? Why not just return it to the path since its appearance here was a mistake?"
The assistant asked, and I nodded in acknowledgment.
Yes, exactly the question I wanted to ask. Why not do whatever the assistant had said. I didn't want to be a goblin.
Kamisama's voice was calm, but absolute:
"We don't reject fate—we accept it and make decisions. This soul came here for a reason, so we assign it a world. Besides…" His gaze drifted to me, eyes unreadable. "He'd definitely be heading to the Inferno anyway if we return. This is a favor."
The word inferno was enough to convince me that Eldora was the better option.
But don't bullshit me, Cosmic One.
What...you're trying to save me from hell? What a load of crap.
I could tell from his tone that there were better alternatives, but he chose this one because of what exactly?
What did I even do that was so bad?
The assistant hesitated, then finally voiced the exact thought running through my head. "Why a goblin, though? Isn't he a human?"
I nodded. Mental thumbs-up to the assistant once again.
The assistant wasn't done.
"Goblins are the most hated species in Eldoria. And humans and other species will give him a hard time once they spot him, so why?"
I swallowed.
Goblin's were widely hated?
That didn't sound great.
Cosmic One remained unfazed.
"That's exactly why."
I frowned in confusion.
Was that supposed to mean something?
"Assigning him to a better world without him doing anything noteworthy is already a stretch. He needs to earn his stripes."Cosmic one continued. "Who knows? This might even turn him into a hero."
A goblin as a hero.
Yeah, right.
Like those two words go with each other.
The assistant sighed, shoulders dropping slightly.
"Fine. I'll begin the process."
I shook my head.
Wait....No! Don't just agree!
This is not fine! Not fine at all!
I don't agree, man!
Defend me! Say something! Do anything!
Cosmic Two didn't listen.
The assistant barely hesitated before moving on, as if sentencing me to trollhood was no big deal.
"What kind of goblin should he become? And what innate skill should he get?"
Cosmic One shrugged.
"I'll leave that up to you."
My nonexistent ears perked up.
Innate skill? What the hell were those?
Lifting his shadowy hands, cosmic started typing on thin air, like he was tapping away on an invisible iPad. His fingers moving with precision, his face blank, like he was just checking off another routine task.
Meanwhile, I was not okay.
I chewed at my imaginary nails—curious, worried, confused, and half convinced this was just some insane dream, and I would wake up a moment later, back in my room.
"Done."
Cosmic two suddenly said and Cosmic One turned to me, his voice absolute.
"Alright, Sylas Stone. You will be reborn as a goblin in the world of Eldoria."
Tell me something I don't know.
"Good luck, Sylas."
I vanished.
One second, I was floating in that weird void; the next, I was standing in a clearing, surrounded by towering trees and thick vegetation.
It was almost as if I had been here all along.
I looked down at my hands.
They were massive, covered in rough, greenish skin. My fingers ended in thick, claw-like nails.
My body felt light and slim.
And the tree before me looks more massive than it should be if I were a human.
And that's when it hit.
This was no dream.
Human Sylas Stone was dead and was now a goblin.
The things I knew about goblins were
I let out a long sigh, my breath came out deep and guttural, like a low growl.
Oh my beautiful voice.
Then, suddenly, a glowing blue box popped up in front of me.
[Welcome, Sylas Stone, to Eldoria]
[To aid you, you have received: A Rune Spell]
[This Rune Spell will serve as your guide]
[Good luck]