My name's Kévin. Yeah, Kévin, the most generic name in the world, screaming "average dude" from a mile away. Twenty-five years old, glasses slipping down my nose, a messy mop of hair, and an apartment that reeks of stale chips and despair. My life's a string of sleepless nights grinding video games, chasing epic glory between sips of lukewarm soda. I work in a call center, getting chewed out by customers who treat me like garbage, then come home to escape into worlds where I'm more than a loser. The one thing that gets me going? Heavenly Sex. Yeah, you heard that right. That game's my goddamn lifeline in this sea of mediocrity.
Heavenly Sex isn't just an RPG. It's a mythological shitshow, the kind of thing that gets every geek like me hard. On the surface, it looks like a classic game: quests, dungeons, heroes saving the world. Except, hell no. You play as Eros, the god of love—or let's be real, the god of fucking. Your goal? Make all of Olympus fall at your feet. Aphrodite, Athena, Artemis, even Zeus if you're crazy enough. You charm them, seduce them, make them submit. The game's so raw, so explicit, some call it "Greek Porn" on the forums. PG, for the initiated. The quests? Stuff like "seduce Hera in one night" or "make Demeter crack with a well-placed speech." It's crude, it's over-the-top, and fuck, I love it.
I spend my nights farming charisma points, optimizing builds to max out my "seductive aura." In Heavenly Sex, everything hinges on a quest system where you tackle twisted tasks to restore Eros's lost glory. The story goes that he got nerfed by the other gods, jealous of his power over hearts and bodies. So, you get missions: convince Aphrodite for a "carnal alliance" or challenge Ares in a testosterone-fueled duel to prove who's the real alpha. Every quest is a mix of multiple-choice dialogues, strategic combat, and scenes that'd make a porn star blush. The game's so niche it only attracts losers like me, but I don't care. It's my jam.
Slumped on my bed, in a room that looks like a post-apocalyptic battlefield. Pizza boxes litter the desk, my screen flickers with the Heavenly Sex main menu, and a pile of dirty laundry threatens to collapse. The walls are plastered with video game posters and an old Athena print in her armor—yeah, I've got a thing for badass goddesses. My apartment's a shithole, but it's my kingdom. I sigh, power off my console, and decide to head out. Gotta move, breathe something other than the stench of my socks.
I hit the street, the city's neon lights burning my eyes. I stop by the corner store, a grimy place where the cashier glares at me like I'm a cockroach. I grab a six-pack of cheap beer—the kind that tastes more like dishwater than barley—and head out. Destination: the shitty bench across from the bus stop, my usual spot to loaf. I sit, crack open a can, and start sipping. The lukewarm liquid slides down my throat, and I start talking to myself like a dumbass.
"Man, imagine if I was Eros, huh?" I mumble, a stupid grin on my face. "Me, Kévin, king of fucking, making Aphrodite beg, 'Oh, Kévin, take me!'" I snicker, shaking my head. "Yeah, keep dreaming, dude. You're closer to dying a virgin than becoming a god."
I finish my can, pop another. The night's cold, the asphalt gleaming under the streetlights. I think back to the game, those quests with dialogues that make you sweat. Like that mission where you whisper filthy shit in Hera's ear to get her to betray Zeus. Or the one where Athena, the virgin goddess, challenges you to a battle of wits before crumbling under your charisma. Damn, that game's gold for a guy like me, who spends his days getting yelled at by clients and his nights dreaming of a world where he's got power.
I finally stand, a bit too fast. My head spins, the beer hitting my brain. "Alright, Kévin, get your ass home, you're pathetic." I toss my empty can in the trash—or near it, whatever—and start walking. The street's empty, cars zipping by like shadows. I cross without really looking, lost in my dumb thoughts. And then, BAM! A blinding light, a horn tearing through the air. A truck. A fucking truck barreling straight at me.
"What the fuck?!" I scream, but it's too late. The impact sends me flying like a ragdoll. I crash onto the asphalt, pain exploding through my body. I feel the blood, warm and sticky, pooling under me. My vision blurs, my chest burns. "Shit… this is how I die?" I cough, my voice raspy. "No story arc, no cheat reincarnation, just… this?"
I let out a bitter laugh, feeling the cold creep in. "Come on, a magic portal, a bullshit system, anything…" But nothing. Just the darkness pulling me under, the silence crushing me. I'm done. A loser to the end.
…
[DING]
A mechanical voice booms in my skull, sharp as a thunderclap.
[System "Submit the Goddess" activated.]
[Host has met the conditions to enter the celestial realm.]
[Host is summoned to the divine audience chamber.]
[The god Eros himself requests your presence.]
"What?!" I yell, or try to. My voice shakes, my body's limp. "What's this bullshit? I'm going crazy, aren't I?" I want to move, scream, but I'm stuck in the dark. My head's pounding, my heart—if I still have one—racing. "Eros? A system? This is a fucking isekai?!"
And then, nothing. Absolute void swallows me.