A white flash blinds me, like someone shoved a spotlight in my face. I blink, groggy, my head a mess. Where the fuck am I? Everything's blurry, but it's coming into focus. Massive columns, carved from marble so pure it gleams like diamond, tower around me. Statues of chiseled Greek bodybuilders stare down, their blank eyes giving me chills. The place reeks of luxury, like some high-roller Greek official's palace. Mosaic floors, gold everywhere, and a soft light that seems to come from nowhere. It's too clean, too perfect. I feel like a bum who just wandered into a museum.
I try to stand, but my legs shake, my body heavy as hell. "What's this shit?" I mutter, my throat dry. Then a voice hits, deep, smooth, vibrating the air like thunder.
"Welcome, mortal. Or should I say… my replacement?"
I whip my head around and nearly pass out. A guy's standing there, shirtless, a toga barely clinging to his waist, with abs that could chop wood. His curly hair shines like gold, and his eyes… fuck, his eyes are like diving into an ocean of desire. Eros. The god of sex in the flesh. I've seen his face a thousand times in Heavenly Sex, but in person, it's something else. He radiates, like every pore of his skin oozes charisma.
"You're… Eros?" I stammer, my voice cracked.
He chuckles, a laugh that sends shivers down my spine. "In the flesh, kid. Or what's left of it." He steps closer, and I feel a weird heat wash over me, like my body wants to kneel before him. "I'm running low on juice, Kévin. The gods fucked me over, literally and figuratively. My power's fading, and soon, I'll be gone. Poof. Done."
"Wait, what?" I blurt, eyes wide. "Why me? Why am I here?"
He puts a hand on my shoulder, and I swear my skin's on fire. "Because you're a loser, man. A guy who spends his nights dreaming of glory in my game. You've got the soul of a nobody, but you've got potential. The system chose you." He points to the air, and a holographic interface flickers in front of me, just like in Heavenly Sex. Lines of glowing text float before my eyes.
[System "Submit the Goddess" activated.]
"The system will guide you," Eros continues, his tone turning serious. "Your quest? Restore Eros—now you—to his former glory. Seduce Olympus, make the gods kneel, reclaim my throne. Got it?"
I shake my head, totally lost. "Hold on, I'm not a god! I'm just… Kévin! A guy who works in a call center and jerks off to video games!"
He bursts out laughing, the sound echoing through the space. "You're me now, Kévin. You've got my body, my power… or what's left of it." He steps closer, his face inches from mine. "Don't let me down, kid." Before I can respond, a portal opens behind him, a vortex of golden light. He winks, then gets sucked in like a leaf in a vacuum.
"Fucking hell!" I yell, but everything goes black again.
---
When I come to, it's chaos. Deafening noise—screams, murmurs, divine voices—drills into my eardrums. I try to move, but my arms are locked. Heavy, cold chains bind my wrists. My eyes open slowly, and I see them. Gods. Actual fucking Greek gods, staring at me like I'm a bug. I'm on my knees in the center of a massive hall, a colossal throne before me. And on it, a jacked guy, white beard, killer eyes. Zeus. The final boss of Olympus.
"Eros," his voice booms, shaking the floor, "you have dishonored the Greek pantheon."
"What the fuck?!" I think, my heart pounding. "Why am I at this asshole's feet?" I look around and it hits me. I'm in Eros's body. Golden hair, flawless skin, chiseled muscles. But fuck, I'm still Kévin, not a god!
A snicker comes from my left. "Look at that loser face," says a guy in red armor, a bad-boy grin plastered on. Ares. Of course, that bastard's here to pile on.
I want to speak, explain this is a mistake, but my head's a mess. Then it clicks. Heavenly Sex, Act 1. The banishment. In the game, Eros gets judged by the gods for "perverting Olympus" with his antics. It's the story's starting point. "Fucking Eros, you son of a bitch," I growl inwardly. "You dumped your mess on a loser like me?"
Zeus raises a hand, and silence drops like an anvil. "Your actions have defiled our realm. You've seduced, manipulated, corrupted. Your power is a threat."
"Wait!" I shout, my voice echoing weirdly, deeper, more… divine. "I'm not Eros! I'm Kévin, a normal guy! This is a mistake!"
Laughter erupts. Ares slaps his knee, Hera, beside Zeus, raises an amused eyebrow, and even Athena, stoic in her armor, seems to hide a smirk. "Pathetic," Ares spits. "You've always been weak, Eros."
Zeus stands, his aura nearly crushing me to the floor. "Your insolence worsens your case. You are banished from Olympus."
"No, wait, fuck!" I scream, but a pillar of light shoots from the throne, enveloping me like a tsunami. The pain's excruciating, like my soul's being ripped out. I scream, but the sound's swallowed by the void.
---
When the light fades, I'm somewhere else. Rocky ground, stormy sky, twisted trees around me. I'm basically naked, just a torn toga. My chains are gone, but I still feel their weight. Then the interface flickers back, glitching like a broken neon sign.
[System "Submit the Goddess" is now available.]
[Host has been banished from Olympus.]
[The celestial realm is in an uproar over your banishment.]
[Some gods despise you.]
[The Olympian Pantheon is hostile toward you.]
[Objective: Regain your divine status.]
[Quest: Survive your first night as a fallen god.]
[Penalty: Degradation of divine status.]
And the final line, like a knife to the gut:
[The host may have been a god, but now he's no better than shit.]
"Great," I mutter, wiping sweat from my brow. "Thanks, Eros, you're a real pal." I stand, legs wobbly, and look around. A hostile world, gods out for my blood, and a system that's mocking me. Fuck, this really is an isekai. And I'm screwed.