"Sigh, what a bland life," I muttered, staring out the window. "Why is my life so uninteresting while others seem full of fun and rainbows?"
"Since when did I become such apathetic? Maybe the reason is that I have social anxiety or something that made me like this. In my early years, I used to be outgoing, making friends easily, to the point where I could even befriend anyone even diddy."
As I was about to descend into self-deprecation, I immediately stood up to stop such lowly thoughts. "Wait a minute, why am I being like this? When did I become so sentimental? I should be gambling, right?" I went over to the couch to pick up my jacket and then left my apartment.
"God, please, if I were to die right now, please let there be no second life like those reincarnation stories because I can't deal with this stuff a second time." After leaving the apartment building, my stomach gurgled. "I should get some food to soothe my poor tummy." Thinking about where to buy food, I spotted the food truck known for selling kebab and shawarma and went there. "This line is so long, like a third leg—'FAH!!! lol, if only that were true.' Hmm, what should I get? Hmm, should I get a kebab or a shawarma?"
As I was pondering, "Uncle Trump," the food truck owner, called out to me, "Lil' cub, what'd you want?" which startled me. "Hmm! I would like—'I should buy both instead of contemplating such boring thoughts'—a shawarma and a kebab, Uncle."
"Ok." As he was about to pass me my order, he asked, "How's your aunt, by the way? Is she still single?" I replied with a mischievous grin, "How's your daughter? Is she eighteen yet?" Veins started to bulge on his forehead as I immediately took my food order and ran.
As I was running, I saw a garbage truck performing a rhino slam. "Yo, what is that truck flying towards me as if it's targeting me?" As I was wondering whether I was seeing things right or if I was delusional, the truck crashed into me, sending me flying in a 360-degree spin.
"Wait, what? When did it hit me? I didn't even see it. Shit, Mom, Dad, I think your son just performed the greatest golden ratio." As I was spinning, the world seemed to slow down to emphasize what a perfect golden ratio I had just performed.
"Shit, that hurt like a bitch! Is that my ribs protruding out of my skin? Shit, I'm going to die not winning even a single gamble. I should have listened to that moron Alex and picked red." As I was about to pass out with a pool of blood and pain coursing through my entire being,
Suddenly, I woke up in a spacious bedroom with a king-size bed. Gold seemed to cover the entire room, as if saying, LOOK BITCH, I'M RICH AS FUCK.
"Where the heck am I?"