His body shivers with cold and the stabbing pain in his limbs is enough to force him awake.
He has to blink several times before his blurred vision adjusts to his surroundings.
He would have imagined more light, and the darkness of the place surprises him for a moment. But where is he? He doesn't recognize this place.
Is he dreaming?
It's only when he tries to move his hand that he realizes he can't do it. No, he's on his knees, handcuffed, wrists and ankles against a wall.
The wall... of a cell?
Yes, it looks like a cell with its lack of space, amenities, sunlight. It stinks like a cell. It's damp like a cell. No, seriously, no kidding, it's a cell.
But what did he do to end up here? What happened yesterday?
He remembers drinking with his role-playing friends, after yet another game.
And next?
After – he doesn't know anymore. The black hole.
Did he screw up so badly? Did he get into a fight on the way home, after drinking too much?
Still, to be treated like that! Putting him behind bars is one thing, but tying him up is a bit extreme! There's not even a bed, nothing for him to wash up in, where the hell are we!
Gritting his teeth, he was about to alert the guards to an abuse of his condition as an inmate when a blue screen appeared in front of him, out of nowhere. And soon, as that screen began to fill with text, a monotone voice simply read aloud what was thus written before his eyes.
[ Welcome to The Sacred Empire of the Five Mountains sub-named SEFM. I will be your game master and evaluate your performance as Shoi-Ming. Every action you take and every word you say will have consequences, both for yourself and for the other characters. Here are your statistics:
Strength: 0
Dexterity: 0
Charisma : 0
Luck : 200
Constitution : 0
Qi mastery : 0 ]
Ouoh, calm down! That's a lot to swallow!
Why did this thing just talk to him about his RPG? That's crazy! Well, at least he knows he's definitely dreaming, but that's not the worst of it yet. What are those stats? His own, right?
Look, there's a minimum to respect here. What's with this arbitrary choice to roll the dice for him anyway? And then, well, nothing's right! Zero everywhere? That's unplayable! At least one, because with zero, you can't do anything. And the two hundred in luck? It's a hundred maximum, and even then, no, it's ninety nine to be more precise.
It's really, really nonsense.
He sighed, shaking his head, before the name of his character came back into his head and he finally exploded in anger:
"Shoi-Ming? That ridiculous piece of shit? Me? Play as him? I would rather die yeah!"
[ Am I to take it that you'd rather die and declare the game over before you've started it? ]
Huh? What kind of question is that?! Obviously ! Shitty dream ! He's about to wake up! Pulling on his handcuffs to free himself he... easily remove his hands.
Is this useless NPC stronger than he thought?
[ You realize, to your surprise, that the guard forgot to securely close your handcuffs as well as your cell door, allowing you to quietly escape from the prison in which you were being held captive. ]
Wh-What? They've undoubtedly been stupid enough to forget to lock everything up? It's not possible... this guy's got the god of luck on his side!
Wait, is the GM really going to spend his time narrating everything he does? Ah well, yes, that's the whole point of a GM, of course. It's going to get annoying very quickly, especially with such a boring character.
"I'll get out of here first and we'll talk about it! But I'm not going to be Shoi-Ming! Any other NPC will do, all of them, but not him! He can't do anything! Even a peasant would be more useful than him, one wonders why he's so highly placed, seriously! I bet no one's even noticed he's missing and been captured."
Untying his ankles, he straightened up and was able to confirm with a simple glance that his clothes were very different from those of his world. Well, at least he's well dressed, but that's about it.
Searching around and then on top of him, he discover a weapon under his clothes.
[ You notice that the guards haven't found your fetish dagger. ]
"What's the point if I've got no strength?! It's just decoration. Raaaah! Well, never mind, forget it."
Finally he's out, no problem, it's... it's a joke. This guy is a joke. It just reminds him why he didn't like this character, and now he has to play him. At least, he's free.
He's got to get to the Ethereal Clouds Moutain.
Shoi-Ming certainly can't even fly on his sword. Having managed to find an indicator of where he is, he's walking towards his destination.
On foot.
Like an NPC.
How much longer is this dream? Please...
[ On the winding path leading to the Mountain of Ethereal Clouds, Shoi-Ming - driven by his intrepid quest - received the benefit of a lucky coincidence. With a resolute but exhausted gait, a merchant, driving a cart pulled by sturdy horses, appeared like an omen of good fortune, stopping him. Without hesitation, the generous man offered to accompany him, so he would have a welcoming break and faster progress towards his goal. ]
Along the way, he's already come close to falling asleep several times; he's more a man of action than anything else. Worst of all, this NPC isn't a fighter, or even the opposite.
Shoi-Ming is a member of the Ethereal Clouds Sect, the leader's right-hand man, who really doesn't deserve his status anyway - you only have to look at his statistics to see that.
How has he managed to survive this far?
By luck.
And perhaps also by cunning, he even has the expression of someone waiting for the best moment to stab you in the back, honestly.
It's not a character he was keen on, he's never liked disingenuous characters who behave like parasites, feeding off kindness and just surrender when they're in trouble. He likes powerful characters with honor, who never give up.
And so, Shoi-Ming, despite having a pretty good design on paper, quickly disappointed him in his behavior.
Besides, he will die, isn't he? How again?
Never mind, he doesn't care, good riddance. It's just a bad dream, it's not like he's really going to die with him, is he?